August 4th 2024
11:37 AM
Las Vegas, NV

After getting ready for the day, I walked over to Chris and kissed him on his forehead. He was still asleep, his face peaceful and relaxed. I wish I could stay in bed with him and just relax like we planned but I couldn't. I needed to focus. I received a text message from Ant saying he stayed in Vegas as well. He stayed so we could have a talk. I'm not sure how he even knew I stayed, or even if he knows Chris is here too but I guess I'm gonna find out.

I quickly kissed his lips and tried to walk away but I felt him grab my wrist, then his other hand grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks.

"Nah, where you going, baby?" He asked, pulling me down to him.

"I'll be back. I'm just going downstairs." I replied.

"You're all dressed up." He said, pulling me on top of him.

"I'm just going to a meeting."

"What meeting do you have?" He places my hand on his chest.

"Well," I pull myself off of him and sit next to him on the edge of the bed. "Your manager texted me, telling me he stayed in Vegas and wants to meet with me to discuss you." I explained.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's business." I said, now rubbing his chest.

"Definitely let me know what that's about. I don't want you to go through."

"Me either but..."

"You gotta know what he wants." He finished my sentence. "How'd you get out of bed without me noticing?" He asked

I laughed. "With skill."

"You can't be sneaking away from me. I don't like that."

"Don't worry, I won't go too far." I lean down and give him a kiss on the lips.

"I won't let you." He smiled.

"Just get some rest. I'll bring you food back so you can eat, then we can start our day." I said standing on my feet.

"You take good care of me. Wife material." He said with a smile. "My future wife."

He puts his hands behind his head, and gets comfortable, watching as I grab my phone and walk out of the room.

As I was leaving, I got a text message from Ant saying he wanted to meet me at the pool, and that was 3 minutes away. I told him I would meet him there and made my way to the elevators.

I'm not gonna lie, I was nervous as hell. I didn't know what he had to say to me. Of course, I thought it had to do with my relationship with Chris, but then again, I thought about it and there was nothing really linking me to a relationship with him that Any would know about. I kind of felt like I was overthinking, but then again I felt like I wasn't. I felt like he knew something about us and after he basically accused me of having something to do with Chris missing last night made me think he definitely knew something.

When the elevator doors opened, I made my way to the pool area. After searching for him for a few minutes, I saw him sitting at one of the tables.

As I approach, he stands and we hug.

"Hi." I said.

"What's up? Have a seat." He replied, motioning for me to have a seat and I did.

"So you stayed in town?" I said with a smile. Trying to pry. I wanted to know why he was still here.

"I had a few things I needed to take care of. But, listen, Chanel—."

I cut him off. "I stayed because I needed a break. My boyfriend broke up with me and wasn't ready to go home yet."

"Oh...I'm sorry to hear that." He said, voice softening.

"Yeah. Sorry to get all personal with you but I'm kind of going through something right now."

"Nah, it's all good." He said. "Breakups are hard."

"They are." I said, hoping he wouldn't bring up Chris. I'm going to keep avoiding it too.

"Well, I'll get right to the point then." He said, and before I could think of something to divert the conversation again, he spoke. "I have an offer for you, but you have to be willing to compromise a little more and make a change in your life, a big one."

"A change? How big?"

"Well, we're thinking of making you a more permanent member of the team."

"I'm already a permanent member of the team." I said.

"That's true but you're doing so well, they want you to also take on the role of his road manager."

"Tour and road manager?" I said and he nodded.

"Chris has had some issues lately and he's not taking it as seriously as he should. You seem to have a good effect on him and he listens to you, so if you agree to help with that, the position is yours."

"Of course I'll do it. Chris is my priority." I said. "Whatever helps."

"Awesome!" He said.

"And the changes?" I asked.

"Just your check and you'll work directly with me. Well, do everything to ensure everything runs smoothly."

"Okay."

"So, speaking of everything running smoothly and you being his new road manager now... Where is he?"

I shrug.

"Is he still here? I know he wasn't on the bus." He said.

"You should try to call him and see where he is because I have no idea." I said. "Since this business meeting is over, I'm gonna go get some food and go back to my room." He laughs, stands up.

"Okay, Chanel."

I was happy that he didn't question me about Chris. I walked away from him and into one of the restaurants. I had to grab food for Chris and I.

After I ordered, I sat at the bar and had a drink. Yeah, it was a little early but hey, I needed one. I sat there going over the night.

Am I really marrying him?

I took a sip of my drink, then took another one. Damn, I guess I am. If he's serious of course.

It's a little weird for me because it's been somewhat of a journey for us. I remember when we first met. Things weren't always peachy. That man gave me the hardest time. He was defiant. He was mean and disrespectful. He wouldn't listen to me when I asked something of him and he liked to do what he wanted to do, he still does, but that is more manageable now. There had been plenty of nights I cried because of how he treated me. I wanted to quit a million times but for some odd reason I never followed through.

We've had a lot of ups and downs within the last six years, but honestly, it's been mostly up for us. It was probably around year two that he decided to let up on me. I know now that that was because he started to like me. He started asking me if I liked different things. Random, I know but I guess that was his way of sparking a conversation outside of work related things. We started talking more and more, after I got over how traumatized I was, and we became cool. He started inviting me out with the crew after the shows and everything. I never went and I think that piqued his interest, because he started asking why I never accepted his invitation.

One night, around year three, he showed up at my hotel room asking if I was coming out. I had no plans on going, just like any other time. I was shocked as hell that he showed up. He asked to come in and I let him. Don't know why I did it. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have let him into my room. But it turned out fine. We talked for about five minutes about why I should come out but he wasn't able to persuade me into going, he said aight and left.

Shortly after that we started talking more and to this day I still don't remember me giving him my phone number, but he got it and we started texting all the time. I can honestly say he pursued me, and it was heavy. Texting me often and calling literally everyday. I didn't think anything of it until he tried to kiss me one night, in Cleveland, during the Party tour.

I will never forget that night he kissed me. He texted me asking for me to meet him in one of the box suites, and me being completely oblivious, I did. Thinking it was work related, I was surprised to find out no one else was there when I arrived. He said he just wanted to spend some time alone away from everyone and that he does that every now and then. He asked me how everything was going with the tour. Something he had never done before. He also asked if anyone was bothering me, or if there was anything he could help with. It was a cool little conversation, but I felt like he was kinda shy. Chris was so persistent in text messages and phone calls but when he was in front of me, he came off as shy. He asked me if I had a boyfriend because he wanted to know if he wanted tickets. I laughed and said no, then he was like good because he wasn't going to give him none of I had one. We laughed and he got closer to me. I should've known that was a set up but what can I say, ima complete dingbat sometimes.

So when he went in to kiss me, I was caught by surprise and I slapped the shit out of him. I immediately apologized. He laughed, thankfully. I felt so bad. Of course he used that to move in again and we kissed. And when I say we kissed, I mean we kissed. Full on made out. I had to peel myself away from him after a few minutes. After it was over he said, "you better not have no man after that".

After that night,we made out a couple of times but nothing really came out of it. It wasn't until New Year's Eve of that year that anything happened between us. I was having a New Year's Eve party for my friends and family and he showed up. By this time, of course we were friends and obviously texting and talking on the phone, but I didn't know he was coming. So, he showed up around 11 something and everyone was surprised and happy that he was there. Everything was cool and totally unflirty between us, we were having fun. A few minutes before the countdown he asked me to show him to my bathroom. I let him use the one that was in my bed, so he could have a little privacy but instead of actually going to the bathroom it was a setup to have a make out session with me.

Once again, I should've realized it was a setup, but I didn't of course, but I thought it was cute. It wasn't until the night was over that I realized that he didn't have to show up to my party. I kinda liked that he came out. That was the first time that I actually felt myself starting to really like him.

He had laughed around one something, but later that night, after the last couple of people went home, he came back. He said he wanted to help me clean up, but I knew that was a bunch of bullshit. I had a lot to drink and he obviously did as well, but we were both coherent and we actually had a really good conversation about the type of cologne he likes to wear while he helped clean up. It was bullshit and we both knew it. I knew why he was there and he knew I knew why he was there. So I just turned around and suggested we go upstairs. I'm happy I did because we had a lot of fun that night. He made my body do things that I didn't even know it could do and he made me feel like I never have before. Things moved kinda quickly after that.

There was a whole song, Privacy.

When the Heartbreak On A full Moon tour rolled around in 2018, we were fucking regularly. That's where the whole meeting in the suites officially started, and shortly after he told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I declined. I didn't want those problems. I liked him a lot and I know he liked me but I wasn't ready for that challenge. Plus, he was having issues at the time. We had a few talks about getting together and it wasn't looking good at first because of the obvious. 2017 and 18 were kinda crazy for him. That's when the restraining order was put in place. He had some cases slapped on him and things were somewhat all over the place for him. I didn't wanna leave him alone because I was worried about him. We started having intimate and personal conversations and that eventually led to us getting together but we agreed that we would keep it private because of my reservations. And that's how we've been doing it and it works for us.

I know everyone is thinking about the kids and their mothers, and about shit that has gone on in the media. Yeah, for the most part, I was there through it all. The thing is, things happen and with all of this shit that's gone on with him, it's nothing that I can't handle. When he had royalty, I knew him, but we weren't together. When he was with Kae, I obviously knew him, but we weren't together. The thing is we have worked together for the last 10 years so that allowed us to have a friendship.

Chris has sex, damn near everybody does it and even though we were together, we weren't exclusively together and with me kind of being in the background I knew what I was up against and honestly, I didn't mind him seeing other women. It wasn't ideal that they had his baby, but it's just something that happened. The story he told me was that they were both mistakes and I mean, even if they weren't, what am I gonna do about it? What was he gonna do about it? If the mothers wanted to follow through with their pregnancies then that's what we had to deal with. I'm the type of person that if something happens, we have to discuss it and we figure out a way to get through it. That's what we did and what we've been doing.

I've never had to explain myself to anyone because our relationship has been so private and I like that. Only within the last year and a half is where I had to actually explain my situation to someone. I entered into a relationship with Terrell a year and a half ago. We were just casual and I told him that I was in a relationship with someone but we weren't exclusive. I also told him we were keeping things low-key and that that situation wasn't serious either and he said he was okay with it.

Let's address the fact that Chris basically broke up with Terrell for me. As I stated before, we were together for a year and a half. There wasn't an issue in the beginning, but about eight months into my relationship with Terrell, he kind of started tripping a little bit because that was when I revealed to him the other person I was in a relationship with. Initially, he didn't say anything about it. I kinda got the vibe that he was a little bothered by it, but he didn't say anything. Seems like things became an issue when Chris answered my phone one day. Chris had never really been a huge factor in my relationship with Terrell because I've always kept them separate, but all of that went out the window when Chris picked up my phone.

I revealed to Chris around the tenth month Terrell and I were together. Chris wasn't really trippin about it because he knew he wasn't going anywhere, and I also assured him that things wouldn't change between us because they weren't. I've always taken Chris seriously. I've never once spoken bad about him, even if it was warranted. I just don't feel that it's worth it. I think if you love someone you should talk it out with them and not bad mouth them, work it out. That's what we do. We're actually very healthy. Surprising, I know. No toxicity with us, but with everyone else, yes. I don't know why I got to receive the special treatment, but I'm not complaining.

But anyway, when Chris answered the phone, Terrell went off. And from then on, it had been an issue with Terrell that Chris was the other guy. I kinda understand Terrell's frustrations more recently though. There's been a few situations where Chris has purposely made me late for dates with Terrell or flat out, made me miss them. Once Chris decided he didn't like him, he decided he was going to give him hell and that's exactly what he did trying to run him away, but Terrell stuck around. I ultimately think Terrell had an issue because he might have developed more feelings for me but the feeling wasn't mutual.

I don't know if it was an insecurity thing, but after dealing with that for a few months, I was sick of it and that's the reason why I didn't really put up a fight when Chris did it. I wasn't going to be as mean about it but honestly, I was sick of his shit. It was something every other week with him. Literally. And Chris and I were already close, but that situation made us a little bit closer because I confided in him about it. Chris kept telling me I didn't have to deal with that, I know I didn't but I guess I was just being nice. He was doing too much and I was thinking about ending things with him anyway, but Chris had done that for me now so I don't have to worry about it. Moving on.

I was taking my time going back up to the room. I decided to have a drink while I waited for my food. I had just got it but still had half a glass of vodka soda, so I was enjoying that then I heard a man speak.

"That's a lot of food for one person." I heard Ant say from behind me.

"Um, yeah." I turn around. "It's for now and later. I don't plan on leaving back out tonight."

"Uh huh! Sure you're not getting enough for two?"

"Nope! It's just me." I smiled, taking another sip of my drink.

"When you leaving?" He asked.

"I'll be back before the show."

"Well, miss road manager, you need to do your job. Chris needs to be there by 1. Will he be there?"

"I don't know. I guess."

"I think you need to figure it out. Where is he?" He asked.

"Ant, I don't know." I said getting frustrated. "Call him."

"I have, his phone is off."

I forgot, Chris did turn his phone off as soon as we got to the hotel.

"The only thing I can tell you is to continue to call him. I'll do my part, and do the same. It's really all we can do right now. He knows he has a show tomorrow so I think we'll be fine and I don't think there's a reason to overreact or anything. I'll be there."

"You sound so sure." He said.

"Because I am. Chris has never missed a show and I don't think he'll ever start now, especially with it being the last show of the tour." I look at him with a confused face. I don't understand why he would even imply Chris would miss his show.

"There's a first time for everything. He's been a little unpredictable and m.i.a. at times this whole tour."

"And I don't think the last show is going to be the time he decides to fuck everything up. I think you should chill. We're gonna be fine." I assure him even though I think he's just trying to get a rose out of me. Maybe he does know something for him to be pushing this hard.

"Aight..." he kinda side eyes me.

"I thought you were leaving?" I laugh trying to play off the fact that I'm irritated. "Goodbye, Ant."

"I'm leaving." He walks off laughing.

I quickly downed the rest of my drink, grabbed our food and headed back upstairs.

Thoughts?