Crap

"WHAT HAPPENED THERE?" Marian said.

     (A miracle? Yeah. Paul called it that. Sure, my brother's a Catholic seminarian. And Daniel had the same opinion, too. My husband was an altar boy. Me? I'm somewhere between a lapsed Christian and an agnostic. I'd only accept it a miracle if scientific proof backed it.)

     Propped on her bed, Marian was watching a video on Spontaneous Human Combustion (SHC) that she had bought earlier.

     The charred corpse of a man sat on a living room easy chair, unrecognizable save for the remaining part of its head. There was nothing left of the arms but a few bones. Skin, muscles, the torso and the legs had burned to ashes. But the left foot remained intact inside its undamaged shoe.

     The Burner's Mind by Dr. Sigmund Skinner, the book that came with the DVD, lied on her lap.

     You should know better, Marian, she said aloud, tossing the book on her side table.

     (Know what?)

     Dr. Sigmund Skinner appeared on screen. He was a small man with silver hair, a long nose, and a big voice. "Spontaneous Human Combustion is the ability of the human body to inflame with no external identifiable source of ignition."

     (Isn't it a pack of crap?)

     "Burners or victims of spontaneous combustion get burned to death with fire that can incinerate flesh and bone to cinders but not hot enough to scorch other things surrounding it."

     "So why am I watching this?" Marian said.

     Dr. Skinner pointed to the blown-up reproduction of the SHC victim's photograph. "The combustion affects only the body. The burner's clothing, nearby furniture, and flammable objects stay untouched by fire."

     (Déjà vu, Marian?)

     Marian moved closer to the television screen as if she were back in med school examining a cadaver.

     She could see that the victim's clothing was undamaged except in his abdomen. Minor scorching showed on the chair. The fire spared the books and newspapers a few feet away. A little charring on the floor and a layer of soot and grease high on the wall behind the chair were the only visible damage.

     "Skeptics blame it on alcoholism. They insist that there's always a source of fire-a cigarette or an oven or a fireplace-nearby the victim. Researchers propose the so-called 'candle effect' of the body's flammable fat deposits. When set alight, they say it could fuel its own combustion. Others call it divine retribution for sinners."

     "The baby's fire felt so wonderful," Marian said. She touched her nose.

     Her lips.

     Misshapen three days ago, mended now.

     (But did Spontaneous Human Combustion heal me?)

     Dr. Skinner showed the audience his book. "The Burner's Mind explores the Psychological theory of Spontaneous Human Combustion. My book investigates the mind's ability to short circuit the electrical fields that exist within the human body."

     "Yeah, right," Marian said.

     "It probes the conditions that trigger an explosive combination of gas and chemicals. An atomic chain reaction that generates internal heat. And with that, SHC happens."

     "Crap," Marian said.

     (Right.)

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