princess of china - coldplay ft. rihanna

Lana

I look around the plane, my earphones in as I watch the rest of the passengers remain in their haze despite the flight attendant who is currently talking. She is probably repeating what she has said for the past couple of times she as spoken. But still, I feel bad that everyone is ignoring her. Poor thing. I decide to remove one earphone jack and look at her for the remainder of her little rant, content when I see that relief in her eyes once she sees that at least one person is paying attention to her.

She smiles at me when she finishes and I return it before craning my neck to look out the window, letting my eyes scan over the landscapes to enjoy the beauty of it all. There's a beautiful sunset in the works, and I can't help but let my mind wander to Cara. It seems that I always think of her when I see a sunset, or think of one, for that matter. Stars too, I realize then. Anything beautiful in the sky, really. I smile at that. It's been that way since the day she took me to her meadow; her safe haven.

She told me I was the first person she took there not so long ago, in one of our late night conversations. I was touched, emotional even. I know now that she wasn't much of a happy person some time ago, similar to myself. Things were hard for her-- she experienced pain that makes me want to cry.

My strange girl, flung out of space. She is too pure for this earth. We don't deserve her. I don't deserve her. That much was clear from the beginning.

But still, she is mine. And I am hers. My love for her has grown profoundly, much quicker and stronger than I would have ever thought. Ever since Barrie, I allowed my hurt and sadness to consume me. Turn me into someone I didn't recognize and want to forget-- do things I am not proud of. And then she came along, and turned the tables on me.

She has me wrapped around her finger, whether she knows it or not. Whenever she laughs, smiles, curls her lip, anything, I go weak. It's quite ridiculous, really. It pained me to leave her in Paris and not be able to have a proper goodbye with her because of all the people. But I can only be grateful we left on good terms like we did.

Everything I had done leading up to our little confrontation in Paris had been made me anxious. Sitting there waiting for her to arrive must have been one of my most nerve wrecking moments. That, and the walk up to her hotel room.

My stomach had dropped when I saw her walk in with Jourdan, and I hated the small amount of jealousy that surfaced when I saw her with her laughing, arms entangled. I still feel slightly embarrassed of that, because Cara has told me how close they are.

I am glad now I chose not to throw the fact that her and Harry seemed too cozy in London in her face when we were talking things out, when she was pushing me for answers I could barely mumble. We didn't need that at the time, and I didn't want to fight with her any longer. We had spent too much time not talking to each other, and to just start again with a fight would have broken my heart even more.

Thinking of it now, if she didn't forgive me when we had our talk, I don't know what I would have done. What I would have said. Even now that we aren't as deep in as in any other relationship I have been in, I realize I would be lost. Utterly, pathetically, lost. Never have I been this sprung this early in a relationship, or in love, for that matter.

Seeing motion from the corner of my eye, I turn and look as the rest of the passengers all fasten their seat belts. How long have I been lost in thought? I put mine on then and continue to look out the window the remainder of the flight up until we land. My section is given the go to exit first, and after I grab my carry-on I give a polite smile to the stewardess and make my way to where I will be picking up my luggage.

The paparazzi are keeping their distance thus far, only taking shots from a distance as I grab my luggage. But as soon as my bodyguard and I begin making our way out, they begin bombarding me with questions and attacking me with their flashes. I answer a few as I walk, trying to be polite but it isn't until I reach the fans who are waiting for me outside the airport that I come to a complete stop.

"Thank you so much Lana, I love you so much." the petite brunette gushes, giving me a squeeze after one of her friends finishes taking our picture. I assure her I love her as well, squeezing back before moving on to the next person.

They all begin asking me questions, letting me know just how long they have been waiting for me to arrive and how they will be at the show later on. There is quite a few of them, way more than paparazzi.

"Lana how's Cara?" I freeze momentarily at the mention of her name, but must have known this was coming. There have been more and more paparazzi around when we are out together. Fans were bound to ask questions.

"She's good." I smile.

"How long have you two known each other?" I think about not answering, but don't see any harm in it.

"Couple months." I nod, and proceed to sign another cd.

"Did you guys have a wild night out? You left her suite early in the morning in Paris."

I am almost surprised by the fact that they know about that, but then again, not really. Things spread much faster these days, like wild fire. I give the boy who asked the question a smirk instead of a verbal answer and go back to signing. I don't need to put it into words for them.

"Alright, we need to go." my bodyguard informs me.

Usually, I wouldn't pay much attention. But considering I am being bombarded with these questions and I am on a tight schedule, I decide its best. I do what I can before leaving to the van and manage to squeeze in a few more pictures with fans.

Making my way into the van, I plop down onto the cushion seat and put my bag beside me. I glance at the guard as he puts my luggage in the back briefly before pulling out my phone to call Cara. Butterflies emerge in my stomach and I smile at the fact that I am going to hear her voice again.

It's a little ridiculous, and perhaps a little embarrassing, how excited I am to be in contact with her in someway even though it's only been a couple hours. I miss her tremendously. What I would give to be with her right now. Maybe she can make it out for the premiere of Ride? The show we agreed she'd come to in Berlin seems so far away.

I push her contact and wait patiently as the phone rings. The driver starts the engine then and the guard makes his way into the front seat.

"Hello?" she croaks, half hazy.

"Hi baby," I greet, adjusting my self on the seat. "I just wanted to call you and tell you I landed."

"Oh-- okay." she hiccups, a fit of giggles following as well as some things I can't really make out. "Have a good flight?"

"It was okay..." I decide then not to question it and continue. "I miss you. But what about you? What are you up to?"

She doesn't answer right away, instead I hear what sounds like laughter and rustling. I pull the phone closer to my ear. "Cara?"

"Harry, stop!" she says, sounding distant. Harry? He is in Paris? What are they doing together? Surely it's late there.

She sounds near, and I assume she has pulled the phone back up to her ear.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" she slurs, and I think of how giggly she was just then.

She's drunk.

"Where are you?" I ask.

"With Harold." she laughs.

"Who's that?" I hear him ask.

"Harry, shhhhh. I'm trying to talk on the phone."

"Are you really?" he asks, and Cara replies with laughter that sounds all too familiar.

"Yes!" I'm so lost. Where are they? And was he tickling her just now? "I'm sorry, can I call you back later?"

I'm frustrated, and I feel that tang of jealousy hit me. But I don't want to argue with her, especially in the state that she is in right now. I feel like flying back, but that is near impossible .

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll talk to you later." I expect her to say a goodbye, but she only hangs up.

In a small state of disbelief, I keep the phone in my hands. Looking down at her contact, I try to makes sense of it, but come up short. What just happened?

authors note // please, if you watch The 100 and ship Clexa message me so that we can vent together. my heart can't deal, I love them so much