*this is how I picture Lana looking in this chapter (-:

Cara

I sigh and fall onto the chair with a thump, tossing my head back and pretending to snore.

"Oh get up!" Jourdan smacks me, laughing. I regain my composure in a fit of laughter and get up to take off my clothes.

"I'm just not having it today man. That show killed me."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Jourdan replies.

We just finished walking for a show, and as strange as it is, the flight from London to Paris managed to tire me. Despite how short it was compared to other flights. Perhaps the lack of sleep I have gotten these past couple of days because of all this staying out all night contributed to that.

I take off the coat and top I am currently wearing and contemplate on reaching for a brassiere.

"Are we still heading out today babe?" I ask Jourdan. We contemplated on whether or not we should go out after today's shows, considering we haven't been ones for staying in and getting some rest in a very long time.

"I don't know babe. What do you feel up for?" her response confirms for me that she doesn't feel like going out in that way much tonight either. Partying is exhausting after a while. How do the people from Jersey Shore do it?

I continue to change into some slacks and throw on a bomber jacket to make up for the thin graphic tee I chose. It isn't the warmest this time at night, or season, for that matter.

"How bout' we just go get some dinner and walk around before heading back to my hotel room, watch some telly, go mad with room service?" I suggest.

These past couple of days have consisted of group activities, hitting parties and clubs. It would be nice just to hang out with Jourdan, the last one on one alone time I had with someone was with Harry, right before leaving for Paris. I smile briefly at the memory.

"Alright, yeah." she answers. We finish dressing and stop outside for some photos once we see just how many people and paparazzi there are waiting. I try my best to interact with the people who seem to be fans, touched by their shyness and endearment.

Jourdan and I head out to eat right after just as we planned, this time, I pass on the snails. They're okay, but there are better things to eat while in Paris.

"And are you going to take more jobs after these fashion weeks babe?" Jourdan questions, taking a bite out of her food.

"I already did." I laugh, slicing mine with a knife. "I don't know I just feel like I have to keep busy, I haven't not been busy in some time and when I aren't it feels bizarre."

"What about you, you taking a break?" I ask.

"Just a short one. Spend some time with Riley before taking him with me to some." It surprised me when Jourdan told me she had a toddler, mostly because she is quite young and still modeling.

She explained the whole situation to me-- with Riley's father being in prison and her not having much of a choice or desire to peruse anything else other than modeling, she chooses not to talk much about her situation with most people.

That only touched me more when she opened up to me about it and when I first met Riley. He's a sweet devilish little boy full of energy-- quite funny, just like his mum.

"That's good." I take a bite out of my food. Feeling her eyes on me, I slow my chewing and look up at her.

"What?" she makes a face, and I crack a smile. "What?" I repeat.

"There's no one you want to make time for after Milan before you start working again?"

"Mum, Poppy and Chloe already visited me--" she reaches across the table and smacks my arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Cara." she states, and my face falls. "You can't avoid it forever, babe. Why don't you make time to go see Lana and talk things out?"

I don't reply, mostly because I don't know what the fuck to say, but I know she's right. I've done a good job at avoiding her, but it's been eating at me. Never have I gone this long with out talking to her.

"I don't know," I look down at my food again. "I'll just figure it out later." she doesn't seem convinced.

"It just isn't good for you babe. I mean c'mon-- and with what you did with Harry..."

I look up again. "I know. And I feel bad about it, okay? But what's done is done."

"Let's just talk about something else-- yeah?" she looks at my blandly. "Thanks."

We carry on with dinner in a lighter tone, and manage to forget the whole Lana ordeal. It isn't so much that I don't want to see her-- it's more of a I'm scared to see her. I don't know exactly why, she is one of the people I feel most comfortable with. But something about seeing her after all this time after how it was the last time we saw each other makes it all the more terrifying.

When finishing dinner, Jourdan and I proceed to follow through with the rest of our plans after dinner; walking around and stopping in some shops for some time before finally heading back to my hotel. We actually buy things for ourselves this time around, and before I could think better of it, I buy a single jeweled necklace for Lizzy. It's rather simple, that much is clear about it. But I still hope she likes it. If I ever get the chance to give it to her, I think to myself.

"So what do you feel like watching?" Jourdan asks me as we arrive at the hotel, sliding towards the car door to exit.

"I'm not sure. Let's just see what they have." I say a quick thank you to the driver and exit the car after Jourdan, ready for the flashes.

We stop occasionally to pose for some pictures, but when we continue walking I notice there are more paparazzi than there were the past few days, and that some, strangely enough, have their cameras pointed towards the inside of the hotel.

I loop my arm through Jourdan's and walk with her through the front door of the hotel, falling into our foolish banter again. We are in a middle of laughing when I feel Jourdan come to a stop, and I look at her to see that her laughter has died out. Instead, she holds an expression that I don't understand.

"What happened babe?" I ask. She doesn't answer, so I move my gaze in search of whatever has hers so captivated.

I don't see it at first, but when I do my smile drops and I'm sure my features turn into something close to a shock. There, sitting on one of the lobby couches, is Lizzy.

She wears her dark hair down in soft waves, a flannel over what seems to be a blue knitted sweater and jeans along with white tennis shoes. Her purse sits on her lap, and her green gaze is now on me. My stomach twists and hundreds of questions flood into my head, all of which I can't bother to put any thought into because of the fact that she is here, in front of me. And I don't know what the fuck to do.

"So much for figuring it out later." Jourdan mutters to me.

She gets up and makes her way towards us, and still, I can't think of what to do. So I do what I can; nothing.

She seems out of place, almost uncomfortable, but that goes away immediately once she flashes one of her winning smiles.

"Hi-- you must be Jourdan." she greets, giving Jourdan the traditional two European kisses. I remove my arm from around Jourdan's then, taking a step aside. "I've heard so much about you." she continues after pulling away.

"Aw same here, babe. Same here." she replies. "Alright well I better get going. Cara I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Jourdan turns to me and gives me a goodbye kiss on the cheek, one I can barely return. Oh no, no no. I know what you're doing, miss Dunn. She gives me a look as to say good time to talk things out, I'd say and moves to leave. I can only give her a helpless look as she leaves briefly before turning back to Lizzy.

There is a moment of silence between us, the awkwardest silence the two of us have come to share. Finally, a force out a "Hi."

"Hi Cara." she fiddles with the strap of her purse, shifting her weight from her right foot to her left. "I was hoping we could, um, talk?"

I consider this momentarily before ultimately nodding. "Sure. My room is this way."

Walking into the elevator, I push the button to the 14th floor and wait in a thick silence with her as we make our way up. I hold a tight grip on my shopping bags and try to think of something to say, if I should say anything at all. She's standing a few feet away from me after so long and all I want to do is hug her and run away from her at the same time.

The elevator comes to a stop and I step out first, leading the way to the room. She doesn't say anything as we walk and enter the room, and neither do I. This only makes it all the more awkward.

Setting my bags down, I lean against the wooden desk beside curtained windows and wait for her to speak first. But as the silence continues, I see she is waiting for me to do the same.

"So what is it you wanted to discuss." I state rather than question, knowing exactly what it is she wants to talk about. It isn't like she came all this way to ask me if I have been keeping up with cupcake wars.

"Cara." she says simply, almost pained. "Please, don't do that." I stay silent.

"I don't want us to continue like this. Look at us."

"What do you want me to say?" I question, and she sets her purse down to walk towards me. I move some, but stay where I am.

"I want you to actually talk to me, for one." she states. "To look at me."

At that, I look up. Her eyes are glossed over, and I notice how much of an ass I am being. I haven't seen her like this before, none other than the time I left her in Los Angeles.

"Can we just talk about this, please?" I begin to grow angry then.

"Talk about what, exactly?" I snap. "How you lied to me? Or how you probably cheated on me?"

"Cara I didn't cheat on you, I never cheated on you." she defends.

"Then what was that at the party, Lizzy? Why did you lie to me? Why not just tell me you were going there? I mean, what is it? Are you that embarrassed of me?"

"Cara I'm no--" she reaches for me and I move from my place to walk around her. I want answers before her touch. She frowns, but continues.

"I'm not, embarrassed of you. I could never-- be embarrassed of you, Cara. I-- I love you." she declares, and I feel my eyes water.

Those words have been playing in my head for quite some time, but now that I hear it come out from her lips, under the circumstances, I couldn't feel more attacked. Every emotion seems to be crashing down on me.

"Then why did you lie?" I manage to say, her declaration still trying to register in my head. She takes a step closer, and I take one back. "No. Answer me first." her expression is pained, and she looks at me pleadingly as if she is asking me not to make her do this. But she doesn't understand how this has been eating at me.

"They're not good people, Cara. Some of them-- anyway. I didn't want you around them." she claims after a short pause, but I am still slightly confused.

"Who are?"

"The people I was with at the party." this doesn't make sense. If they aren't good people, why is she hanging out with them?

I must think aloud again, because the next words that leave her mouth answer my question.

"It was the last time I was going to see them. They wouldn't stop telling me to go, and I didn't know what else to do." she explains. "Yes, I could have handled it better. I could have told you."

She inches closer, and I can't move. The tears gathered in my eyes fall and she reaches to wipe them, so softly and so delicately that I can't help but allow myself to lean into her touch just the slightest bit. "I'm sorry, Cara. I'm so sorry."

I nod in resistance, but I've lost. Her innocent enough gesture makes me not want to remove myself, and her apology sounds so genuine I cannot resist it any longer.

Instead, I give in. And I ask the question I find myself wanting to desperately know the answer to. To make sure I am not in fact being delusional. That this, is real.

"You love me?" I whisper. Her eyes meet bore into mine, and she wipes the tears running down my cheeks.

"I do." she responds. "I love you." she repeats, as if to assure me.

And just like that, the weak walls I built during our time apart to isolate myself from her collapse, turning to dust and being completely forgotten.

I bring my mouth to hers and lose myself in the vertiginous movements of her jaw as her big, soft lips slant over mine. Her tongue traces my bottom lip for entrance and I spread my lips like wings, desperate now more than ever to be fed every succulent drop of her.

She slides her tongue into my mouth and the second our tongues meet, the kiss explodes. She lets out a velvety moan mingled with a light gasp so similar to our first kiss, and just like that kiss, I feel a sharp feeling hit my abandonment and break away to gasp for a quick breath of air.

"I missed you so much," I confess, coming back harder than before. She whimpers and I grab her face between my hands before furiously struggling to remove my bomber jacket, my shoulders clumsily catching in the armholes during my rapid movements before I can successfully remove it.

Her hands grab my hips, pushing the hem around my waist up so that she can touch my bare skin, her fingers somehow leaving a trail of fire across my flesh. I jolt, pulling her closer to me and placing a hand hard over her center, already feeling the dampness through her jeans, and she groans around my mouth.

She begins steering us backwards in an effort towards the bed I assume, our lips still sealed, but I gasp as my back comes in contact with the edge of the wall belonging to the small hallway.

"Sorry." she mutters, but I can care less. She can have her way with me here, for all I care. All I know is that I want her, I have to have her. It's been far too long since we have been together this way.

I roll my hips suggestively, rubbing my center against her thigh-- but to my surprise, she hoists me up and I wrap my legs around her waist on instinct. She latches onto my neck, sucking greedily at the skin she knows to be sensitive at the hallow of my throat as leads us toward the bed.

She sets me down at the foot of the bed as she shrugs off her flannel and removes her jeans. I stare up at her expectantly, my stomach beginning to twist in anticipation.

"You're so beautiful." she states, and I move up higher on the bed. My cheeks redden and I notice how red and puffy her lips are, bruised from our desperate kisses.

"I want you. I need you." I say deliberately, feeling somewhat self-conscious and embarrassed.

But it seems to get her, as she is kissing me ravenously the next second as she cups my cheeks in her warm hands. I run my hands over her skin, eagerly running them over her soft skin and curves. She sighs and brings her lips down to mine once again before tugging down my jeans down with my shoes. I kick them off quickly as I unclasp the stupid brassiere I decided to wear.

She doesn't hesitate to bring her hands to my breasts, and I inhale sharply as I close my eyes. I missed her hands on me like this, her thumbs brushing over my nipples repeatedly as they are doing now. I bring my hands over hers, making her palm them more forcefully and her mouth descends to mine again before making its way down further, sucking hungrily on one of my breasts.

"Oh, god." I whimper, the sensation of her wet tongue and teeth heightening the throbbing between my thighs. I spread my legs and rock my hips, pressing my center up against her in a need of friction. But she stops me, pulling away some.

The temperature changes now that her body is removed from on top of mine, and I am just about to question her movement when she hooks her fingers around my panties, tugging them down my legs. She spreads my knees and scoots down between my thighs, my eyes focusing directly on her as she gets closer to my center.

"I've been wanting to taste you again for so long," she mummers dangerously, and I go completely mad the second her mouth touches me. My legs give out and I let my head fall back, my hand simultaneously reaching for her hair.

"Oh, fuck." I moan as the feel of her tongue sliding up my folds and flicking over my clit hits me.

A delectable-- almost painful-- pulse of pleasure moves through me, causing me to arch my back and whine my approval carelessly. She licks my slit, drinking up my arousal and then fully focusing her ministrations on my clit, swirling her tongue around it in the way she knows will get the strongest reaction out of me. She continues to work her tongue back and forth over the swollen nub and I fist her hair closer, rotating my hips enthusiastically.

"Ohhhh, yes, " I gasp, my mouth falling open with a choked whelp when she slides two fingers inside of me. She pushes upwards towards my pelvic wall, adding an exquisite pleasure that intensifies the pleasure of her tongue on my clit. I can feel my orgasm approaching and she only seems to be moving quicker.

"I- I -- I'm gonna come--," I moan, and a few seconds after, my orgasm crashes through out my body, hitting every limb in every way.

I rock my hips violently against her face as I ride it out, embarrassingly loud shouts escaping my mouth. Lizzy only moans, teasing my clit until she melts into the mattress, lapping at my pussy until she is satisfied.

My legs quiver as she crawls over me again, and I feel my head all over the place, the post orgasm sensation still riding out all over my body. I feel my greedy lungs practically gasping for air and my heart rate slowing down its irregular beating. She lands beside me with a soft thump, and I twist my body so that we are facing each other.

Cradling her face between my hands as she does the same to me, I bring my body closer to her and tangle my legs with hers. We stare longingly at each other, her eyes boring into mine as I struggle to keep them open during this post orgasm haze.

I feel joy irrupt inside of me and finally say the three words I've been wanting to say to her before our lips crash again.

"I love you,"

An // sigh (': our girls loves each other!!

With that said, I have been delivering, have I not? Next update will come once there are at least 10 votes and 15 comments. ily all. Xx.

ps. sorry for the shitty smut and grammar errors if any lol I'm too lazy to check and fix

songs:

love in the dark - Adele
water under the bridge - Adele
all I ask - Adele
remedy - Adele