Lana

"Okay Lizzy-- Liz, calm down. I'm sure it isn't like that they're probably still friends--"

Upon being informed on what Cara has been up to over the course of our... division, an immediate panic and-- sadness, washed over me. I didn't know what to think or if I should even believe it, but considering what had happened before we parted I couldn't help but worry.

And because I know she won't respond to me, I called the one person that is practically legally bonded to comfort and listen to me rant. My sister.

"Chuck, did you not see those pictures I sent you!?" I diatribe. "And they've dated before!"

"Okay, you have a point bu--"

"I just--"

"--Elizabeth, shut the fuck up for a second." she exasperates. I sigh and take the time to light a cigarette.

Quitting was going well, but whenever I start to feel anxious and stressed like this particular situation is making me feel, I can't help myself. 

"You need to stop jumping to conclusions. You know how Cara is, she's... friendly. Touchy, even. She's like that with everyone. You can't just assume she is dating him again because what? Giuliana Rancic said so? She said you were the new face of Versace when you were just wearing a Versace shirt." she has a valid point.

"I know."

"Then?" she goes on to ask, but I don't reply. I don't want to have to tell her there is a reason behind my worries.

But my sister knows me, and my silence must be what makes her ask her next question.

"What happened." she states, more than asks. When I don't answer again, she instigates more. "Lizzy, what happened."

I blow the smoke out and think back to when she saw me. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, as ridiculous as that sounds. She completely caught me off guard. Maybe I should have gone after her, perhaps things would have been different if she hadn't gotten to the flat and packed. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not when the rest of the group hadn't noticed her.

"She... she saw me at the party. With Jade and the rest." I take a short pause to take in some smoke . "I told her I was going to be at the studio." she stays silent for a moment, and I take the chance to explain further.

"And I lied about not being able to change things, Cara actually told me she didn't want me there."

"Well, shit." I roll my eyes and blow out smoke.

"Tell me about it."

"How did she even--"

"Michelle." I answer before she can finish. "She had invited her, and I had shut it down. But Cara must have grown bored at the apartment and called her up." I explain.

"God, I royally fucked this up, didn't I?"

Rubbing my temples with my right hand, I hold my phone to my left ear, waiting for Chuck to respond.

"You didn't have much of a choice, Liz. It had been too long." she's right, but everything is a complete mess now. And as much as I would want to blame it on Cara, I know I only have myself to blame.

"I should have never gotten myself into this mess." she knows what I am referring to. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be in this situation.

Tears begin to pick at my eyes, and as much as I don't want them to, they fall down my cheeks.

"Lizzy, don't cry." she says sympathetically. "It'll be fine, okay?"

"She's not talking to me, Chuck. She thinks I-- cheated, and won't even bother returning my calls or text." I wipe at my tears.

"So then go see her." she says, as if it is so simple. Our schedules are very different, Cara and I realized this when discussing my going to London with her.

"I can't. She has Paris and Milan to go to after London, and I have some shoots and shows before the Ride premiere back in L.A. "

"Then make the time for it. Try to, at least. You two need to talk. The sooner the better, so everything is in the clear." she's right, again.

Nothing good can come from the way things are going on, and I miss her. I miss her. I tried not to think of her for sometime but that flew out the window once I started watching her shows and bragging to the guys, showing them pictures of her walking the catwalk.

Chuck didn't know, perhaps if she did she wouldn't have sent me a link to watch them. But I would have wanted her to anyway, I realize. If I couldn't be there in person, I at least want to watch her online as she walks for those high-end designers. I still remember that ridiculously big smile plastered on my face the second I saw her start walking for her first show of the week.

"Yeah." I start. "I'll just-- see what I can do."

"Alright. It'll all work out, okay?" she assures me. I nod, even though she can't even see me. "Now go to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Okay. I love you, bye."

"Love you too. Bye" I end the call and toss my phone aside, running my hand through my hair.

She's right. I need to at least try to meet up with her in another way. It's clear I won't be able to arrange that through call or text, but perhaps I can figure out different methods, despite how irrational.

I know which hotels she will be staying at, she told me the names of them herself when we were going over things. Changing some things in my schedule now may be a little difficult, but as Chuck said, it could work, and I need to try, considering I got us into this mess.

As of now, it would be too late to try and meet her in London. But perhaps, I can try and meet her in Paris.

AN // short BUT perhaps gives you a better idea of what's to come? (; comment, vote, follow. Xx.

songs:

love in the dark - Adele
remedy - Adele
all I ask - Adele