Lana

"Gorgeous, hold that pose for me." I leave my head tilted as the photographer requests, holding my gaze with the camera lens.

This has been going on for a few hours. Posing, the clicking of the camera, occasional flashes, changing of clothes, location, lighting, and compliments from the photographer that are more about the shot than me. Usually I don't mind photo shoots, I actually enjoy them. But with everything going on I can't seem to clear my head.

"Okay, I think we got enough shots here, why don't you go get the make up and clothing change and we can take more shots outside." the photographer suggests, his accent very distinct.

"Alright." I get up, dusting myself off some. "Get good shots?"

"Oh yeah, very good. You're a natural." he smiles.

"I'm sure you say that to everyone." I blush. He chuckles.

"Maybe. But this time I truly mean it." I am the one to laugh this time. "Alright, be right back." I smile.

"I'll be waiting." he smiles again before averting his blue eyes to his camera screen. I turn and make my way back to make up. The make up artists know what to do by now, so I don't bother telling them. Taking a seat in the chair, I reach for my purse and get my phone, immediately going to the recordings and lifestreams. Chuck was the one to tell me about these-- and it is because of her I have been able to watch every single catwalk Cara has walked this fashion week.

"Is that the Burberry fashion show?" One of the make up artists inputs upon seeing my phone screen. I answer yes with a soft 'Mhm.'  "God, I wanted to be there so bad."

I laugh lightly. "You and me both."

Different models continue to walk the catwalk until finally, she appears. Confidence radiates off of her, but she is still slightly nervous. I can tell. Not as much as she seemed the first couple of shows she had walked, but still. She gives her end of the catwalk poses and a smile spreads across my face. God, she looks so beautiful.

From then on I make an effort of screenshotting whenever she makes an appearance on the catwalk. I watch as best as I can while my make up and hair is being done, and before I leave the hair and make up station I send a number of screenshots to Chuck with a series of exclamation points. Her response is surprisingly fast;

Omg!!! She looks gorgeous!!

Sissy that walk! (;

I laugh at her reference to RuPaul's Drag Race and type out a reply just as the artists tell me they are done.

I know (-':

"Shantay, you stay"

I click my phone off after pushing send and put it in my purse before going to change outfits. When I am ready, I leave to meet Francesco for the last session of the photo shoot.

"Ready?" he greets me once I join him outside.

"Ready to leave." I tease. He laughs.

"Is it me, or have these past couple of days been longer than usual?"

"Oh they have." I chuckle. "It's not just you, I can assure you."

"Good, I thought I was losing my mind." he jokes. He's rather cute, I notice. Well, "notice"again, if I am being honest. I smile.

"Alright, let's get this over with shall we?" he smiles warmly. I nod.

From then on we try a series of different poses and lighting changes, leaving the shoot with varies amount of photographs the magazine will be satisfied with. Francesco lets me know what a great shoot it was overall before leaving, and invites me to have dinner with him. But due to the fact that I have more things scheduled for the rest of the day, I politely decline his offer. Besides, I don't know how good of an idea that would be considering Cara. I don't want to give Francesco the wrong impression, or feel humiliated if I tell him I am in a relationship and those weren't even his intentions.

Leaving the shoot's location, I immediately head to the small little venue to do soundcheck. The traffic isn't so bad, although I am still running a few minutes late. Thankfully, by the time I arrive my band is ready and everything is set up.

"How was the shoot?" Blake asks, tuning his guitar some. I take a seat on the stool in the middle of the stage.

"Okay." I reply. "I'm still little jet lagged though, so I was a little tired."

"Tell me about it." my band has always been willing to fly wherever it is I need to be for events, never complaining, always enthusiastic. But I know they get just as tired as I do with these things.

"So what song are we doing first?" he asks.

"Um, video games?" I question.

"Whatever you want, boss."

"Shut up." he smiles. I turn to the rest of the band and notify them which song we will be doing first for soundcheck, and most likely for the private concert.

We run song after song, sometimes redoing some and fixing certain things, whether it be Byron coming in later or Blake playing more than what is on the actual track. Overall, everything goes smoothly. Which is why it bothers me so much when nerves begin to surface the closer it gets to perform in front of the crowd. I shouldn't feel this way, but I always do. No matter what.

"You good, Liz?" I hear suddenly. Looking up, I see Blake there, his expression genuine.

"Oh." I laugh lightly. "Yeah, just nervous."

The crowd started arriving some time ago, and the sound of them managed to put me more on edge. There is something about small, private concerts like this that make everything much more intimate and nerve racking. Like if I am under a microscope even more.

Blake takes a seat next to me on the leather couch. He takes out a cig out as an offering but I deny it.

"Trying to quit again." I tell him. He nods in understanding.

"You know, you got nothing to worry about. You're going to do just fine." I turn my head to look at him, and smile. Playfully rolling my eyes.

"It's true!" he exclaims. "And if you mess up, who cares? You're only going to get better."

I smile at his efforts.

"Thanks, Blakey." he blushes at the nickname. The rest of the guys tease him about it, ever since I first called him by it. But he has never once requested I don't call him by it.

I nudge him with my elbow before laying my head on his shoulder and rest there for some time in a comfortable silence. Eventually, the stage manager notifies me it is 5 minutes to show, and we both get up. Blake heads for the stage to set up whatever it is he needs to with the rest of the guys, but not before assuring me one last time I will 'kill it'. Turning around after flashing him a smile, I feel terrible for wishing it was Cara assuring me and putting me at ease instead of him. But how else am I suppose to feel when I haven't as so much gotten a reply from her these past couple of days?

I miss her, desperately. I told myself from the beginning I wouldn't get myself this involved, but here I am. Missing a girl who hasn't even returned my calls or replied to any of my numerous messages.

I hardly know what she is up to, besides the fact that she is in London and is walking catwalks for fashion week. Worrying about her is ridiculous, she isn't some little girl who needs constant care. But still, that is the way I feel. As if I need to protect her, constantly.

I shouldn't have lied to her. I should have told her exactly where I was going, but how would that have worked out? Hey babe, Ima head to this party for a while but you stay here, Ima go alone. No. Lying was the easiest way to go, but now I'm not so sure it was worth going at all.

She has a right to ignore me. Hell, I would have jumped to conclusions like Michelle told me she did if I was her too. She told her Mike was just a friend, at least. Though I'm not so sure that was any help. Fuck. I should have just been honest from the beginning-- maybe before I decided to peruse something with her.

But that couldn't have worked out well. We probably wouldn't be where we are right now if I did, in a fight or not.

"Miss Del Rey." I hear someone say firmly. I am snapped out of my thoughts and turn to see the stage manager starring at me in expectance.

"Yes?" I reply.

"It's 10 minutes after show time-- here is your in-ear monitor."

"Oh-- thank you." I take the monitor from him and put it into place, going to take a sip of water before finally heading out onto the stage.

When I walk out, the surprisingly loud applause and cheers are the first thing to greet me. Usually at these kinds of things, people who have the exclusivity rather than hardcore fans are the ones to attend. That isn't the case here, it seems.

Just as Blake assured me, the show goes smoothly. No-- amazing, actually. The crowd kept their contagious, positive energy through out the entire show, singing the lyrics back my way every single song. They made me gain the confidence I needed and because of them, I do the best show-- I think-- I have done in quite some time.

The boys and I leave the venue completely satisfied with ourselves, and because we are still on a high from the show, we decide to head out to a bar to celebrate for quite some time before heading back into the hotel.

We say our good nights when we reach our rooms and I enter mine, kicking off my shoes and shrugging off the coat Blake lent me when I got cold.

Running my hand through my hair, I head to the bathroom and remove the make up from my face, as well as going through the rest of my pre-bed acts.

By the time I am settled into bed, I decide to watch some television to help me sleep, noticing I am still too awake to just knock out and I smile, remembering the show.

I watch some things for a while, but ultimately spend the majority of my time channel surfing. It isn't until I reach the channel E! that I am finally too sick of looking for something to settle on that I just give up and stay on that channel, lowering the volume so that it is more of lights flashing my way.

It isn't until I am not far from finally going to sleep that something on the television catches my attention, making me sit up and put the volume up.

E! News

"Couple Alert! Cara Delevingne and Harry Styles getting back together? Umm, please and thank you! The lovely pair of Brits have been seen getting quite cozy with one another through out London Fashion week, and we can't say anyone is complaining.

Now we all know Cara and Harry's past, but in case you lived under a rock for it, here's a quick recap. Cara-- gorgeous supermodel with eyebrows to die for-- and Harry-- One Direction front man that can charm the pants off of any gal-- dated sometime earlier this year and although we never got confirmation from either parties, there were numerous sightings of the two and some very boyfriend/girlfriend moments we can't forget.

But, are they really dating again? We sure hope so!

Here we can see the pair having a spectacular time with one another at London Fashion Week and Harry, being Cara's number one supporter front row at Cara's shows as Cara works that catwalk. I mean, c'mon? How cute is that?"

"So what do think? Is Carry/Hara reall--"

I click the tv off before she can finish her sentence.

Looking down, I try to process everything Giuliana Rancic was just rambling about.

What the fuck?

//

An: Ah, how I have missed Lana's pov. fav, comment, follow!! Xx

Songs:

Winter Break - Muna
Electric Love - Børns
Never Wanna Know - Mø
The One - Kodaline
High Hopes -Kodaline
Honest - Kodaline
Love Like This - Kodaline
Latch - Kodaline cover