Cara

"You look as happy as ever." Jordan comments, snapping me back into reality from my zone out. Glancing up, I give my friend a smile.

"I'm tired man!" I chuckle lightly. Pre-fashion week is far more stressful than I expected. The pressure certainly is felt the closer we are to the first day when we are trying on our outfits and practicing our walks. It isn't the picnic in the park I was hoping for, but then again when ever is it in the fashion industry? I can only imagine the day of.

One of the people working on my outfits tightens the laces on the dress I am currently wearing more than it already is and I suck in a breath.

"Too tight?" she questions. She's nicer than most, that's for sure.

"Just a smidge." I muster. She loosens it a bit and I can finally breathe again.

"Better?"

"Much." I answer. Jourdans laugh ripples next to me and I follow suit.

"You know Car, we should go get lunch after this. I'm starving."

I laugh at her teasing.

"So am I. Double cheese burger, chili dog, fries, Coke and a shake on the side?"

"God. Stop before I drool." the workers beside us chuckle. The truth is, I'd very much like to eat that. But the fact of the matter is, I cannot risk it. Though, I feel like I will anyways. Despite the heavy encouragement not to.

"Alright well we are done here. You girls are free to go." a designer states. Oh thank god. Fitting is much shorter today than previous times. I begin getting undressed and step out of those overpriced garments, settling with a plain graphic tee, sweats, sneakers, and a beanie. Jordan's attire similar.

"None of the girls are coming today by the way, they have later fitting for another show they're doing." I pout. Lindsey, Stella, Valentin, and Sonia have been with Jourdan and I almost the entire time here. They're amazing company and always give me a good laugh, and now that I think of it, have played a big part in helping me stay in good moods while here.

"Aw." I pull on some sweats. "Well thats disappointing. I guess we'll just see them tomorrow."

We change the topic after that and continue chatting as we change into our casual attire. Jourdan notifies me when our car has arrived and we had out together, stopping for the usual fan pictures and paparazzi as well. This always takes up quite some time.

"Okay so tell me babe." she exasperates once in the car. "What are we having to eat?"

"You can choose, I don't mind." I answer blankly. She nods.

"Alright." she answers. "Driver, to Craig's please."

Craig's is fine, I think mentally. Settling into my seat further, I take out my phone and see that I have more messages from her.

Cara, can you please answer?

Baby please answer

Scanning over them, once again I am tempted to reply. It's been a couple days, and I miss her terribly, just as I feared. But I can't bring myself to. I need to follow through for once and not give in so easily.

On the flight to England I kept second guessing myself. Did I make the right decision? Should I hear her out? Was I fair? Should I hijack this plane and go back? All I managed to throw to the back of my mind. But I still can't seem to get her out of it. I want so baldy to hear her voice again.

"You alright babe?" Jourdan asks. Once again snapping out of it, I delete the conversation and put my phone down.

"Fine." I lie.

"Liar." she calls me out. "Is it Lana again?" she questions.

Once here, I needed to get it all out to someone. And because Jourdan had the unfortunate fate of being here at the same time as me and because she replied to my text message notifying her of my presence here in England, she is the one who got the earful. She listened as I ranted, never once interrupting me. Only ever so often giving me nods or words of encouragement to continue. After, she comforted me and gave me the reassurance I so desperately needed. She was exactly what I needed at that time. As for the other of the days, her and the rest of the girls really are the reason why I aren't drowning in my self pity.

It was about time, anyways. I hesitated telling her about Lizzy before, and I wasn't going to make the same mistake of doing that again. Jourdan is honest with me, why shouldn't I be with her? Though I decided to tell her Lana's fame name, and not her birth name. That's understandable, I think. Lizzy did ask me to call her by Lizzy after a while of us being in each other's life's. I assume she does so with everyone.

"Yes." I confess.

"Messaging again?" she questions. I nod. "Just take more time. Maybe it's best you talk again once you're both face to face?"

"Probably." I rub my eyes. God, I'm tired. I let out a yawn. "Let's not talk about it anymore. What are you going to order? I'm not about to wait 40 minutes in the restaurant for you to decide." I tease lightly.

We brainstorm and surprisingly, come to a conclusion. When we arrive, Jourdan saves us the time of her contemplating on trying something new and decides straight forwardly to get what she always gets. I do the same. We talk none sense, complain about the bitter people who work fashion week, and get pains in our stomachs from our laughter. We get stares, but then again, when don't we?

She makes her way into my thoughts occasionally but not for long-- thanks to Jourdan of course. I really am dragging this out, aren't I? When did I become so emotionally involved in relationships?

Once we finish our meals, Jourdan and I spend the rest of the day walking around the area. We go into shops, never actually buying anything, and stopping occasionally for the people who recognize us. The paparazzi that follow us around aren't assholes, but I still rather not have strangers with cameras constantly taking pictures of, following us and asking us questions. It's strange.

By the end of the night, I am even more tired than before. Maybe I should have gone back to the hotel suit after eating, but what fun would that have been? Besides, Jourdan wouldn't have allowed it, I realize.

After Jourdan calls our separate vehicles to pick us up, we chat outside of a small cafe mostly amongst ourself, but occasionally answer the questions the paparazzi throw at us. I feel rude if I ignore them for long. I am talking to Jourdan when I spot a car pull up from the corner of my eye. I turn my head to scan and recognize the driver.

"Alright my rides here," I say, mid-sentence.

" I'll see you tomorrow babe. Please, go to sleep once you get in your hotel suite. I don't want you passing out from exhaustion on the runway." she jokes.

"Diddo. I'll see you tomorrow babe." releasing her from the embrace, I turn to enter the car. I tell the driver my hotel as a precaution in case he has already forgotten. It has happened once already, believe it or not.

Entering my room, I toss myself on the bed and feel bliss as the soft cushions and sheets hit my body. There is nothing more relaxing than finally laying in bed when you're exhausted.

I am stripping myself of my clothing until I am completely nude and settling under the covers when I hear a thud. I check the floor and see my phone there, the screen lit and showing me my screen saver.

It's a picture I took of us at the carnival in jersey-- her eyes are closed as she smiles a toothy smile in the middle of a fit of laughter as we sit on the faris wheel. I have my eyes closed and am facing her, my tongue threatening to lick her. I force myself to reach for it and look at it for some time, remembering the moment and how I felt perfectly.

I slide the screen open and go to my photos, scrolling through my album until I come across a photo I took of Jourdon, Lindsey and I not so long ago. I change my wallpaper to that photo and set my phone on the bedside table. I close my eyes, and allow sleep to finally taking over me.

LcLcLcLcLcLcLcLcLc

Nerves seem to consume me the closer I get to the beginning of the Cat Walk. God, please let everything go okay. Don't let me fall. I fell purposely during rehearsal so that wouldn't happen here. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, and despite knowing I shouldn't, I think of Lana, and how she would have made me feel at ease if she was here. And that itself seems to relax me.

"You're up." I hear the mans voice say. I open my eyes and take one more breathe. One, two, three.

I put on my confident face, and sway my hips. One foot in front of the other. I look forward and feel my nerves kick back in as I notice how many people there are, and how they're all starring at me.

I'm gonna fall I'm gonna fall I'm gonna fall I'm gonna fall I'm gonna fall I'm gonna fall I'm gonna fall I'm gonna fall I'm gonna fall

And then it's over. And I am being rushed to the next changing station in a hurry as the adrenaline courses through my veins.

Holy Shit.

"Turn"

"Hold still"

"Fuck"

"Go go go, you're up!!"

All these phrases are repeatedly said through out the night. It becomes a continuous process, almost a never ending cycle. By the end of the night, I grow more accustomed but still can feel my heart beating out of my chest. Though, a certain familiar face in the audience does manage to put me at ease.

It's all a rush. Everything about it. The hair, the changing, the walking. I have walked runways before, but because this is fashion week, it is more nerve racking. I do manage not to fall though, which is always a blessing on its own. Falling purposely during rehearsals like this morning has become a tradition so that I do not do it during the actual show. A way to get it out of my system.

After the rest of the models and I and walk out for the closing group walk, I head back stage to change my clothing, joking around with some friends as I do. I allow the stylists to change my hair in a more simple do but decide to leave minimal make up due to the fact that I no longer have the patience to stay in a chair and have them remove it.

Jourdan, myself and other models leave to do the interviews contracted after a show and I surprisingly enjoy myself. I mostly stay with Jourdan, choosing to have some interviews with her. I don't take them as serious as other models seem to do, thats for sure. I much rather let loose and crack jokes, laugh. Some of these models seem to be allergic to that.

After wrapping up my 6th interview, I begin to look for Jourdan so we can meet with the rest of the girls and leave for the party we all planned on attending. We got separated once we started to do individual interviews, and now it seems to be a little but of a hassle to find her.

In an effort to find her, I begin making my way through the crowd of models, interviewers and cameras instead of going on my tippy toes and scanning the area. God, did she sprint to the other side of the room or what? I decide to scan the area one last time before calling her, when suddenly, I spot that familiar face from the crowd.

I stop in my tracks and smile once his devilish one is in my sights. His hair is a mess of curls, and his green gem of eyes shine bright just as they were in the audience. God. He's as handsome as ever.

"Cara." he nods, his boyish smile contagious.

"Well well well. If it isn't the devil himself." I tease him. "What brings you to fashion week, Harold Styles?"

"Why you, of course." he jabs. "I couldn't stay away from that beauty for long. You know me."

I laugh.

"Oh please." I roll my eyes playfully, but my stomach does a flip despite my best efforts. "Flattery won't get you near my bed again."

His laughter is louder this time.

An: Filler chapter, though is it really bc of that ending my girlies??? (; vote, comment, follow! Btw, how cute is Cara in that video??? You can't even tell her girlfriend Lana Del Rey lied to her and hurt her feelings!! :D