Mustering the residual molecules of fire and breath that somehow persisted within my tattered frame, I offered the last of my defiled worth as a sacrifice to whatever deity would listen, to guarantee without fail that my voice would reach him. Either by my signature, inked in blood, or by some unparalleled miracle, my lungs exploded from within my chest, propelling a thunderous wave of warning up my throat and across the hellscape, leveling every sound that dared get in its way.

My voice shredded through the chaos like an arrow shot straight from its bow, zipping through the smoke, dust, and haze to barrel toward its target. I barely recognized the sound that originated from within me; a powerful plea to reach Levi and pull him from death's door.

Let it be enough. Don't let this be the end. Please...!

I could feel the demons hissing with glee as they invaded my vision, shadowy whisps closing in around the last memory I would sear into my mind.

His pitch black hair tore against his bloodstained skin like a battle of dawn versus dusk as he turned toward the sound of my voice. His eyes, drowning in anguish, pain, and rage, flickered with momentary disbelief as he beheld the gaping hollow of teeth and tongue before him.

In truth, it lasted but a mere second in time, but to me, the agony of possible outcomes made the scene before me move at a snails pace. I willed my soul to escape my physical form as it was dragged from consciousness, driving my heart toward one final task. I became the wind, swirling my arms into a vortex so that I may encase Levi within them. With a violent tug, I yanked his mourning form into my protective embrace, freeing him from what would be the fatal snap of a Titan's jaw.

I held him so tightly against my chest, even as my ethereal ghost began to reluctantly dissolve back into my skin. I watched the Cart Titan snatch her comrade to safety, and I felt Levi's shoulder sag in denial. Burying my face into the crook of his neck, I played back every moment we ever spent together, breathing in what could be my last fill of his warmth, his scent, his pain, his love, his being... and how hard we had once fought to never feel any of it at all...

In the beginning, I wanted nothing to do with him or any man for that matter.
Neither of us had any need or desire for any level or degree of romantic love. Life up to that point had made that abundantly clear. We were totally ignorant of our paths continuing to magnetize to each other, so much so that we were completely blindsided by our feelings for one another, confused, frustrated, unsure, and yes, even annoyed.

As a cadet, I viewed commanding officer visits as a necessary stepping stone to where I needed to go. Whether it was Erwin, Mike, Levi, or Hange made no difference. Even after I joined the Scout Regiment, I had no preference as to whose team I would be a part of, as long as it was strong enough to take me past the walls. We had spent so much time together without even batting an eye toward the other. He was just my senior, my captain. And I was just part of his team, no different from anyone else.

Neither of us believed in any kind of fate bullshit... that we were "meant to be" in each other's lives. Nothing but pure coincidence. We both found each other to honestly be obnoxious in the beginning. We didn't need anyone. There was no point in opening up to friendship, and anything more than that was laughable... and yet, it happened anyway.

After years of knowing each other, fighting together, and growing close as comrades for the sake of survival... it still happened. Neither of us wanted it; we were both caught off guard by the single butterfly's presence within our gut... and we were both quick to shoot it down. It was easy at first, like swatting a gnat that was nothing more than a mild inconvenience. However, as time went on, it became a nuisance, a pest, a swarm of feelings that I hated. I would bury the bastards under dirt and rock at the first hint of stumbled words, off balance steps, evaded glances... it was all so foolish and immature.

It was the same for Levi. He had mastered how to dull his feelings far before he had ever met me.

And yet...

It still happened.

He still kissed me when we found ourselves alone and left for dead... and still, I kissed him back.

It wasn't like him. It wasn't like me either. It was so out of character for the both of us. Maybe that's why we avoided talking about it for so long. Maybe that's why we pretended like it never happened once we were safe behind the walls again.

Well... almost.

The night before he left for the 57th Expedition Outside the Walls, the night he came to my room... he must have caved. Something within Levi must have given him a reason to dare to open his vulnerable heart to me. And even though he had since said and done so many things to explain why he made that choice, I never understood why he chose that moment... why he chose that person to be me.

I wished, just before I would succumb to my blackout, clutching Levi in a dream as my physical body reeled my soul back in, that I could tell him one last truth:

That I would go through every hellish moment of my life again, a million times over, just for the chance that we would make it in the end.

Whether he heard me or not, I whispered, "I love you," as I bid farewell to the daylight and dissolved into night.