As if my demands to be released would convince the quadruped Titan to free me, I slammed my fists against the wooden prison in sync with my screams. The weight of rocks and rubble rapidly tossed onto her back ensured my stay, pinning the lid tightly over the only way out. There was barely enough room to maneuver my body into a position where I could use my strength to kick, but my heels were limited to only producing pathetic taps. The vibration of each inhale beneath my feet was undeniable as I rose upward with every breath. The tambour of her heart quickened like war drums, commanding that she progress with haste. With a frustrated growl, I conceded to conserving my physical energy, fully aware of the fact that I was going nowhere. I had to rein in my focus and concentrate on how I could prevent the Cart Titan from returning to the Beast. There had to be a way to distract her; something I could do or say to muster hesitation in her steps, to give any survivors more time. My mind wasn't even granted a moment to think as the chorus of hell crescendoed in my ear.

The Roar.

Flashes of green.

The malevolent avalanche that tore through the sky.

Everything had changed in an instant.
Something can be so desperately hoped for, wished for, yearned for, with the underlying belief that it will soon come to fruition. Yet all of the hope and energy in the universe wouldn't be enough to convince the future to evolve into what we had envisioned. Its crimson shadow so fleetingly mocked me as it whirled past, cursing me as it debuted its hellish masterpiece of shredded bone and flesh, screams drowning in blood and terror, bravery flattened into fear and soil. I could hear its cruel laughter echoing through my veins, reveling in its ability to crush my soul as it triumphantly retired into the darkest corner of existence. The future unfolded before my eyes into the traitorous present, flaunting its blatant disdain for life, reeling in delight as it dragged any remaining drop of joy with it into the past, leaving a legacy of impossible hell in its wake. In only a matter of seconds, time had left me utterly raw and gutted, helpless to the knife it had driven straight through my back.

I had been so naïve.

Familiar faces ripped from existence, only to live on in memory, one that would be slaughtered a mere second later, painting the grass and rubble a putrid shade of red, their voices never to be heard again... The realization that one's path could end so abruptly, so horrifically, without any branches or forks or blooms of innocent laughter... all hope for the sliver of future we had finally allowed ourselves to envision, it was all so violently torn from our grasp...

The events of that fateful day seemed to unfold so lightning-fast before my eyes that I never once had ever fathomed the unspeakable devastation that would follow. I had so blindly deceived myself into thinking I would be the heroine of it all. That I could prove Levi wrong, that I belonged on the battlefield with him despite my prenatal status, with Erwin, with Hange, with Eren and Mikasa and Armin, with the entire Survey Corps when they so valiantly reclaimed what had been stolen from us. That my presence would make a difference in it all. That I could stop them from falling into the trap so ruthlessly ensnared by our enemies.

I had been so, so wrong. I hadn't done a damn thing to save my comrades, my friends, my lover from being cornered into a suicidal rage toward death. Instead, I had found myself the sudden captive of an intelligent Titan who decided she wanted me alive after all. Why had my existence been so visibly perplexing to her? Why had she so hastily become invested in my life when she and the other titan had been there to kill us all?

Locked within the wooden crate that was strapped closely against the titan's back, I was helpless to do anything other than scream as I watched my comrades be mercilessly slaughtered by the hand of the Beast Titan. After only a few rounds of it hurdling rock and rubble into bone and blood, I could no longer hear the agonizing roar of rage and fear in the distance, nor the thunderous hooves of their horses pounding against the earth. The gambled charge into hell dissolved into a hauntingly cold and piercing silence, mocking me into the cruel possibility that I was the only survivor left.

My screams of protest and anguish had done nothing to stop the bloodshed; my shuddering gasps of disbelief were all that accompanied the ghastly void before me. Even if my captor were to survey the level of decimation up close, there would be nothing but unrecognizable shreds of flesh and broken wings strewed across the bloodstained field. My chest was hollow and burning, a black hole where my heart had once been.

Their death and defeat were impossible. This was all impossible. We were going to return victorious. It was the only outcome. There was no future that would allow us to fail now that we had gotten so far. Not when Erwin's Survey Corps had finally received cheers of support for a send-off. Not when Eren was going to seal the breached wall. Not when Levi--

Levi.

Levi...

No...

Not when we would finally have a future together. A future worth living. Not after he tore down the wall I had built around myself, a wall higher than the heavens, a wall with no doors or windows to ensure no one would ever touch me again. A wall he broke through anyway by handing me the tools to break free. Not when we had breathed air into each other's lungs when we were drowning. Not when his fingertips were a warm caress against my skin instead of daggers clawing through my flesh. Not when we both had a reason to truly smile...

It was impossible.

Levi.

Why wasn't I waking up from this nightmare?

There was no future where Levi did not exist.

Levi...!

My body was seizing in anguish and shrouded with splinters from my legs buckling, skin scraping against my wooden prison, my entire being crippled from pain like I had never experienced before. My mind sputtered from spinning out of control, trying desperately to find a reality that made sense.

Nothing made sense.

He couldn't be dead.

Who was dead?

Levi was--

No, I couldn't create that sentence in my mind. If I did, it would be true.

And it couldn't be true.

Levi... you couldn't be...

The chaos of it all was deafening. The only sound left to comprehend was a high-pitched ringing within my ears. The only reason I knew I was still screaming was from my throat tearing open from within, spewing blood and saliva when there was nothing left to vomit.

I clawed at the cage, trying desperately to escape, to grasp onto the memories and moments I had spent wrapped in Levi's arms, sharing skin and breath, where I had been safe, secure, happy. Let me die there. If I can no longer have moments like this, let me die in the memory when I did!

Without warning, the Cart Titan violently lurched forward, launching me backward against the inner wooden walls of my prison, knocking me back to consciousness, into the world without--

Levi.

My heart leaped from its hollow grave and lodged itself within my throat as it fluttered in a fit of revival. I blinked, and there he was, bursting through the evergreen smoke, sending whisps into swirling hurricanes and vengeful galaxies, zipping, spinning, emitting a guttural roar of rage as he flew, born from the deepest, darkest pit of his soul. The bloodstained battlefield exploded into a duel of confusion and agony as Levi appeared out of thin air and began to relentlessly tear into the Beast Titan. For a split second, I could see him, a crimson-tinged assassin driven into a state of blind fury, only for him to spiral back out of sight.

That was when I realized I still had a part to play in this war after all. The odds of escaping my Titan captor before she reached the epicenter of battle were slim to none, but there was no way I would let her touch Levi.

I whispered a silent apology to the innocent light I had momentarily allowed to dim when I had sank into sorrow and darkness. The tiny soul reminded me that I was human, that what I felt meant I was still alive. I had to protect it. I had to fight.

My fingers were already numb and splintered from before, dulling the pain that must have shot up my wrists, my arms, my neck as I began to claw at the boards and slats below me with urgency and renewed vigor. I had to give Levi as much time as possible to take down the Beast Titan.

The Beast's fury bellowed through the sky, reverberating against the corpses he had deemed utterly worthless. Every swirling strip of flesh that Levi carved into boiled and belched blood onto the decimated earth beneath his shadow, earth already tainted with fear and ruin. Blood mixed with blood; void of difference after death. Where the beast heard Levi's taunting shouts as barbaric and inhuman, I heard exasperation and heartache, a tortured soul yearning for a world that would one day stop turning its back on him. A world that no longer stole every glimpse of hope he dared entertain.

Without missing a beat, still fully in sync with each other's energy and intention, we simultaneously delivered a blow severe enough to bring our enemies to their knees. My marred fingertips fractured the wooden slats between myself and my Titan captor as Levi swiftly severed the tendons above the Beast's heel. The ground quaked in terror as the monster crumbled beneath its weight, rock and mud swelling upward in response.

Grasping the weapon born from the cage that still suffocated me, I plunged my splintered dagger deep into the titan's back. Skin-melting steam and blood vented in response, but I would not release it. The unexpected pierce prompted a faltered step as the titan beneath me gasped in pain.

I was well aware of her rapid regeneration, as with each stab, each blow she wavered less. Her drive rivaled mine in stubbornness, as we refused to let the other win, even if I knew I could only slow her down, distract her, give Levi time. Something- anything... until the dust and smoke began to settle, dooming Levi as her clear target. His silhouette atop the slowly evaporating Titan shell was becoming more and more visible, frozen in a stance that demanded answers that wouldn't come.

Frantically burying my knife into titan flesh was rendered useless as she broke into a full gallop, leaving me with no choice but to pour my life force into summoning a voice loud enough, powerful enough, to shout Levi's name before it was too late.