1st April 1995

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My sweet Cassie, you're the first person I remember in the morning, and thoughts of you drive me to sleep at night. I wish you could be happy forever and I'd do anything to see all your dreams come true.

💘 James

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Cassie did not deserve James' love and she knew it. She'd mentioned it a million times to him, but it only earned her more affection and more cheesy love notes hidden in her locker.

James was perfect, almost too perfect that beside him, she felt a right to love and be loved, something she'd never felt before.

She sat up on her bunk bed and let her legs dangle in the air as she folded the note carefully and stuck it with the others in a folder under her pillow.

"Cassie." She heard the familiar voice beckon her and footsteps, as the door was swung open almost too loud that it had awoken the other three occupants of the room.

"Good morning, Mrs. Miller," She greeted the large-sized woman that had made a way through the door with a brilliant smile, extending her hands to give her the mobile phone.

"Good morning. You have a phone call from James," she said and all three of her foster sisters had sat up immediately with their ears pricked up.

Cassie hated that there was nothing like privacy or boundaries in the house that she lived in.

She begrudgingly took the phone and brought it to her ears, rolling her eyes at Mrs. Miller who'd made no attempt to get the cue that she was supposed to leave.

"Oops." The woman placed her hands on her mouth, before turning to leave.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Cassie."

That was not the voice of James.

"Who is this?"

"Forgotten about me so soon?"

She sighed deeply, wishing she had or could. But she could not deny the fact that she recognized this voice. It had lived rent-free in her head for the last two weeks.

"Logan?"

"Sure." She could perceive the irritating smile in his voice. It made her nervous and angry. 

"Why would you call me?"

"You asked me to get your number if I am smart, and I am smart," he replied.

Of course, he was. James would not let her hear the last of it of how he'd gotten a scholarship to one of the best private schools which would offer him an express ticket to Harvard.

"I was joking." She knew that she'd gone a little too far teasing him, but she felt like he needed to be taught a lesson.

However, unlike other guys that turned into a stuttering mess when she feigned interest in them, Logan had so finely maintained his calm demeanor. If she said it didn't intrigue her, she'd be a liar. 

"I think you were flirting with me," he said.

"I was not."

She glanced around to see that all three pairs of her foster sister's eyes were on her and then she jumped off the bunk, ignoring the ladder which was a much safer option, and hurried out into the bathroom, the only place that could offer what she needed — privacy.

"James would not like this," she said with a hushed tone.

"I know. That's exactly why I called."

She scoffed. "Really?"

"Cassie, I have not been able to stop thinking about you."

"What?" Her mouth hung open in shock.

"You don't have to worry. I have deduced a solution," he added.

She exhaled deeply to calm her nerves before speaking. "Logan, that sounds like a you problem. There's absolutely no need to call me!"

"Tell me you do not relate to my feelings right now and I'd hang up this phone and never call again."

"I-" Cassie started immediately and then stopped. Maybe out of sheer curiosity or the fact that she could relate to his feelings.

Once he was certain she wasn't going to reply, he continued. "Let's hang out. Get to know each other better, and then we can realize that this stupid physical attraction means nothing. You have the best boyfriend, I can only focus on my education right now, there's no need for us to even think about each other."

Cassie didn't know if it was the right thing to believe Logan but she'd been heavily burdened by the guilt of thinking about him a little too much. Apparently, he was smart. If this was a plausible solution, then it was most likely best they took it.

"Fine." She nodded in agreement.

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Cassie was standing in front of the frat house for two reasons.

Firstly, she could not afford to give Logan her actual address, and also, she desperately wanted to see Trisha who had done everything possible to avoid her for the last week.

It was her lucky day as Trisha had stepped out of the house, but on sighting her, she tried to get back inside. Cassie was fast enough to stop that from happening as she hurried towards her immediately.

"Trisha!" She called out.

"Hey Cascas, I didn't know you were out here," the girl with the red hair said, putting up an obviously forced smile.

"Really?" Cassie furrowed her brows enquiringly. "I'd like to think I'm not microscopic or something," she added, taking in the appearance of the girl in front of her who was dressed in baggy, concealing clothes that only had one meaning.

Trisha noticed she was staring and tried to walk away so she'd stop. "I was going somewhere," she said but Cassie was quick to take hold of her hands and pull up the sleeves of her sweatshirt which had revealed several scars.

It was much worse than Cassie had presumed and only left her wondering how much more Trisha was hiding.

"How could you let him do this to you again?" She inquired as tears welled up in her eyes. They both knew who Cassie was referring to; The boy Trisha lived with in the frat house.

"He did not 'do this' to me. We... We got into a fight," She said snatching her hand out of Cassie's grip and trying to make light of the situation.

"Does he have scars like this as well?" She asked and Trisha was dumbfounded. "You need to leave this place!"

"And go where?" Trisha asked as she folded her hands against her chest. "I am a 19-year-old high school dropout that got tossed out of the foster care system before I was ready. This is what I get for making the wrong choices."

Cassie shook her head as tears streamed down her cheek. Trisha did not deserve this. No one did. She wished to help but what on earth could she do? She was barely one year away from getting kicked out herself.

"Trisha..." She tried calling, but the girl in front of her, that had been more like a sister to her, had hurried back into the house, even bearing in mind that she was doing more damage to herself.

Cassie stood there angry and frustrated, as tears burned down her cheeks.

"Hi." She recognized the voice and looked up to see the green-eyed boy, towering over her, with a handkerchief in his outstretched hands.

His dark blonde hair was slightly blown out of place by the wind and he looked even more beautiful under the dark blue evening sky.

Seeing that she was too stunned to acknowledge his gesture, he helped her to wipe her eyes dry with his warm and gentle hands. It gave her a fuzzy feeling that she wanted to bask in forever, baring all her weakness to him and letting him be a source of comfort.

"You want to hear a little secret?" He asked and she nodded with a light smile. He leaned in and whispered into her ears, "you look so much better when you smile."

Cassie caught herself blushing which was very detrimental to the whole purpose of meeting him here today.

Logan led her towards James' car that was parked right in front of them. She felt like her heart almost skipped a beat, but James was indeed not there. He'd borrowed his best friend his precious property, the car, thinking Logan was going on an actual date. This just showed how clueless James was and how terribly wrong the whole situation was playing out.

They drove for a while in a much appreciated, surprisingly comfortable yet tension-filled silence, before Logan brought the car to a halt, opened the door for Cassie, and led her out, towards the beach.

"This is not a date," Cassie stated to be sure they were on the same page as her eyes were glued to the beautiful, unfolding waves in the serene atmosphere.

"Obviously," Logan replied.

"So, why the hell are we in such a beautiful place?" She inquired.

"This is the first and last time we're ever going to hang out. I might as well try to be nice," he said with a smile that caused that stupid heart to do backflips.

Logan kicked off his shoes and walked closer to the water and she did likewise. This was her favorite place to be, there was something so comforting about the ocean.

"Have you really been thinking of me?" He asked as he felt her presence beside him, curling his toes due to the effect of the bone-chilling water underneath them.

"Not really. Maybe a little..." Cassie trailed off mostly because she could not afford to tell him the truth. "I have a great boyfriend," she said defensively.

"The best." Logan seemed to agree.

"So, the plan should be, when we see each other, we run the opposite direction," she suggested.

He ran his hand through his hair with a smile on his face. "That's not very smart. Running away from your feelings makes them have more power over you."

"Running towards it makes it worse!"

A moment of awkward silence played between them, and then turning to face her, he said, "you don't love him."

Logan's green eyes looked through hers, into her soul. He wasn't asking, he was letting her know that he could read her mind.

That was when Cassie concluded she had to do what she knew how to do best. She avoided his questioning glance, turned, and walked away in haste. It was too bad that he wasn't going to let her go so easily.

"Cassie," he said as he got hold of her arm, and turned her to face him much against her will, and the fighter in her would've cracked his ribs, but it seemed to rather get lost in his gaze. "Why would you get into a relationship if you don't feel the same way about someone?" He walked even closer, till there were mere inches between them.

Cassie gulped, taking in his appearance under the sky that was almost completely black. She hated and loved his proximity, not knowing it was possible to feel contrasting emotions at the same time. 

"He loves me. That's all that matters," her voice came out as a barely audible whisper.

"That is wrong," Logan replied.

"What is wrong is leaving your child all alone in a world full of uncertainties! Unlike other teenage girls, I don't get options, I don't get second chances, I don't get to make wrong choices," she said as tears filled her eyes.

The fact that Trisha was being abused and there was nothing she could do asides helplessly watch the situation was too painful for her to bear. Most importantly, she didn't want the same fate. That was why she had to stay with someone she could trust. Someone sweet, uncomplicated and predictable. Someone like James.

Logan sensing her distress wrapped his arms around her, and no matter how wrong she knew it was, she leaned against his chest as she sobbed quietly.

💕 Thank you so much AOFunke for the beautiful cover. Please check out her graphic shop to get wonderful covers, plus she also writes amazing books! 💕