"PANIC"

PANIC: alarm; Lorelei Black could not believe she had slipped, all those years of therapy, the self hatred, the pain — it had all ended up with her slipping and then beating the shit out of Capella Malloy, she'd heard worse from the blonde, and she was having an ok day yesterday, it was just a normal day — there was no reason for her to slip like that. All of those years down the drain just like that and because of stupid Malfoy, she couldn't believe she'd done that. All those years down the drain. All those stupid years. What was she going to do now? She can't go through all that again, especially not with that stupid therapist.

She can't do it all again.

Out of nowhere Lorelei's breath started hitching, and soon she wasn't getting any, she grabbed at her collar to feel a bit more free and she tugged at her tie as she felt her body grow hot, especially her ears — no, this can't be happening right now, not right now, not while she has to meet Umbridge. Lorelei closed her eyes and tried to take a deep breath, but it wasn't working, she then tried to call out Birdie's name who was talking to Fred a few seats away, but nothing came out — her eyes were burning in their sockets and the world seemed to get darker — she soon felt the dizzying feeling take over and her legs started to give up on her, Lorelei slid down the wall and sat on the floor not caring about the filth under her.

It was all a bit too much.

Tears started to cloud her eyes and blur her vision, so she closed her eyes and started feeling nauseous, her breathing going louder and faster, but none of the air was going in — it was like her chest was moving, but nothing was going in. Lorelei started tugging everywhere, her sleeves, her collar, her tie even her hair, but nothing seemed to help her, so she tried to make noise but all that came out was a choked sob.

Lorelei could feel her ears ringing, and it felt to her like she was drowning — she felt like she was under water and she was flailing her arms and legs trying to get up, but something kept pulling her back and her lungs were filling up with water.

"El?" Birdie turned around to find that Lorelei wasn't there anymore, she frowned as she craned her neck forward to see if Lorelei was around and when she didn't see Lorelei she shook her head and turned back to face Fred, "I guess she went to get some fresh air, let's hope George doesn't get into much trouble"

Birdie had failed to notice the curled up figure of Lorelei pressed against her wall with her head between her knees, they were fairly apart so, she wasn't one to blame, but Lorelei was starting to get more and more desperate for help — she felt like she was dying as stupid as it sounds, that's what it felt like to her.

The office door opened and an angry George Weasley stepped out, he doesn't understand what happened today, he's usually calm and pays no attention to Malfoys' pathetic attempts to rile them up, but today something in him snapped, maybe it was because they ruined Ron's game, maybe it was because he just wanted to enjoy that moment with El and they had to ruin it for him, but he knew it could not happen again as the pink toad just banned him from playing Quidditch, or maybe it should — she already banned him from playing Quidditch, what else does he even care about?

He sighed and then his eyes scanned the room for Lorelei, expecting to find her standing with her brows furrowed and that scowl on her face, what he didn't expect was him finding her on the floor with loud breathing noises coming out of her mouth, he immediately rushed forward, "El?" his voice grabbed the attention of all three others, Birdie and Fred got up to see what was happening and Birdie visibly flinched, this couldn't be happening.

"Bubbles, hey, look at me" he grabbed her hands and tilted her head upwards to see her tear strained cheeks, "Come on, it'll be ok, what happened?"

"Move" Birdie practically shoved George out of the way, paying no attention to the redhead as she kneeled down next to her friend, "El, look at me, look into my eyes" Birdie said and she grabbed Lorelei's head with her eyes, "Come on, just like we did before, count with me — hundred"

Lorelei repeated, her voice croaky and hoarse, "Ninety-seven" Birdie nodded encouragingly and then they continued counting, "Ninety-four"

"That's it" Birdie smiled at her, and soon as her breathing calmed down she embraced the girl — Lorelei and Birdie would always have each other, no matter what happens, no matter who's mad at who, they'll have each other's back and they're never going to make the mistake of not talking to each other for that long ever again.

🫐

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Professor McGonagall said as she stepped in front of the Ravenclaw girl, "You are in no way talking to her right now, Dolores." she told the Professor dressed in pink who pursed her lips into a thin line in defeat, Lorelei behind the Professor was absolutely exhausted because of the... well, you know. Birdie, George and Fred had taken the brunette to Madam Pomfrey immediately after Lorelei's breathing had gotten back to normal, perhaps not the best decision, but Lorelei knows Madam Pomfrey wouldn't have been able to help the way Birdie did, no one would have.

"Fine" Umbridge smiled, but her face looked like she wanted to bang her head against the wall until she passed out, "She can stay here for the rest of the day, but after that she has to come see me" and with that she turned around and walked out of the hospital look, passing one of her nasty smiles to Birdie, George and Fred waiting outside.

"I trust you'll stay out of trouble at least for one day, Ms Black?" Professor McGonagall raised her eyebrows at the younger girl who nodded, for some reason Lorelei felt embarrassed about it all, it made her feel weak and small and she didn't like that one bit.

When you spend your whole life trying to act tough and strong, because it doesn't come naturally to you, a simple slip up affects you more deeply — for Lorelei it was the... you know what she means, she didn't like feeling vulnerable especially in front of George who'd tried to help her.

After Professor McGonagall left with one last look towards the kids, and the three had to beg Madam Pomfrey to let them be with El for a while, Lorelei had some company, Birdie passed her an awkward look before she put a box of cookies on her nightstand, "Peace offering?"

"I accept" Lorelei smiled, she opened up the box and immediately put a cookie into her mouth, her and George had at many occasions tried to make cookies, but they'd failed and the house elves never made it like Birdie did, so Lorelei was glad about the familiar taste of soft chocolatey delight in her mouth.

"Of course everyone cares about her" the teenagers heard a scoff followed by the bitter sound of Capella's voice, "It's not like she was the one who beat me up"

"What are you gonna do, Malfoy?" asked Lorelei and George immediately sat down next to her, ready to hold her down if she wanted to leap forward and strangle the platinum haired girl, "Tell your father about this?"

"At least my father will care enough to listen" Capella snapped back and Lorelei shrugged.

"She's not wrong..." Lorelei said in a small voice, she shoved another cookie in her mouth, "Oh, hey red, how was your meeting with Umbridge? What'd she do?"

"Banned me from Quidditch" George spoke with an angry tone and Lorelei furrowed her brows.

"Can she even do that?"

"Apparently"

They were interrupted by the sound of the hospital wing busting open and Hope stumbling in, Madam Pomfrey was about to give the student a look, but when she saw it was Hope Lupin she passed her a warm smile and then went back to working with her potions, Birdie and Lorelei gave each other a look — it was no secret Madam Pomfrey's favorite student of all time was Hope, she didn't have to make it that obvious though.

"I came as soon as I could" Hope panted, she crouched over with her hands on her knees, she had ran all the way from her dorm to the Hospital wing, and she doesn't do much of running so it basically drained all her energy, "Angie kept me waiting even after she saw you two just because of — well, she's turning into the new Wood, but El are you ok?"

"Take a breather, Lupin" Lorelei chuckled, "You sound like you need to sit down more than me"

"That's cause I ran all the way"

"You ran for me?"

"That's what I said, dipshit" Hope sighed and then jumped into the bed with Lorelei grabbing most of the blanket, "I don't get paid enough for taking care of all of you"

"You don't get paid at all" Birdie joked.

"I should" Hope retorted back.

The hospital wing's door opened once again and this time Regan Rosier walked in still dressed in her Quidditch uniform, she tried to charm her way into the hospital wing with Madam Pomfrey and walked up to Lorelei's bed when her plan succeeded.

"I was looking all over for you, Merlin, El tell me where you're going, I've been worried sick!" Regan said to the Ravenclaw girl, "And why are you in the Hospital Wing, didn't you beat up Capella?"

"I had, uh..." Lorelei paused, she couldn't say it out loud — she thought she was past that.

"She had a panic attack, Reg" Birdie told the younger girl and watched her face fall.

"None of you thought you should've told me?" Regan raised her eyebrows and plastered a frown on her face, "I've been running around the fucking castle trying to find El and no one told me?"

"We we're going to but you were with the—" Fred tried to explain to the younger girl, but she cut him off.

"—with the Slytherins? Is that it, Fred?" asked Regan, "You know what? I've had enough of all this fucking bullshit, fuck you all, you've never once supported me in a game, I'm always out of loop here, and always the one to know everything last, I'm done — at least 'the Slytherins'"  Regan used air quotes, "Cared enough to tell me my cousin was in the hospital wing," Regan turned around was about to walk away when she faced them for one last time, "if you see Harry, Ron and Hermione tell them to shove their apologies up their arses, I don't give a shit anymore"

am i gonna mass update? yes. yes, i am. keep scrolling.