I realized, all my childhood and teenager, I always prefer to be alone.

I used to be so attached to people, but also easy to feel jealous, possessive and left out. So in the end I ended up myself alone, with my book, toys and music. The things that would never leave me.

I realized I was refusing and harsh on my little sister. The one who is also lonely like me. The one who is also weak and need a lot of affection due to her natural.

I'm a mess. Honestly.

I'm sorry. And I don't deserve to be forgiven.