Requested by Scarletmaiden_, some triggering stuff in here. I'm going to put WARNING here in big letters just in case people gloss over this part. I know that depression is a serious issue for some people so I suggest you skip this if you're sensitive. Now onward to the one shot.
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You laid in your bed staring blankly at the ceiling. You wondered how long you were there, but you couldn't care less. The never ending cycle of the darkness of your mind occupied your every thought, your entire being. You wanted it to end, the crippling loneliness, the thoughts that brought you down when you tried to stand up, the number of medications. Depression hit you in various ways, sometimes it was just a storm cloud that stayed for a temporary amount of time. But now it was a fog, clouding your mind. It wasn't a light fog but more of a novocaine smoke.

Worthless, Not good for anything.

The same damn thoughts everyday and you were tired of it. The same damn loneliness you were reminded of when you saw people laugh with their friends or significant other. Not only did this make you feel sadness but you felt angry and jealous. Not that anyone would notice. You forgot what it felt like to feel the sun, to smell the flowers and enjoy yourself like other people. Instead what you saw in you was an empty shell, the fog grew and grew until that was all there was in your mind.

You swallowed dryly as your throat hurt from a lack of water. You turned on your side as you saw yourself on the wall mirror. You felt the reflection mocked you. Your mind turned automatic as you pulled yourself off of the bed. You didn't bother to change out of your tank top and sweatpants, it didn't seem worth it where you were going. Your fogged mind dragged your body out of your house to your favorite spot in Yokohama.
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You stood leaning against the bar of your favorite bridge looking over the river. The coursing water reminded you of what your mid was before this fog came.

'What does it feel like?' You thought staring blankly at the water. It looked so hypnotic like it was pulling you towards it. Your thoughts created another magnet force pushing you to the edge.

You know no one would care if you jumped. You're just another pointless existence in this world.

Your body moved like an android powered by an automatic computer. The gears turned and your legs moved on their own towards the edge of the railing. One last look at the water and your thoughts wandered.

'What would it be like to feel again. I want to feel again...'

Just as your automatic leg took one more step a voice stopped you. One voice that felt so familiar to you.

"What are you doing?"

You turned to see a man, not just any random man. The same man who stopped you from doing this several times. You had learned his name after your second attempt, Akutagawa Ryunnosuke. You hadn't bothered to learn anything else due to the fact of the fog, you didn't really care.

"Akutagawa..." You said your blank (e/c) eyes staring into his own. His eyes were also blank but you can tell they at least held emotions behind them.

"You were about to jump again?" He asked like he didn't care, but he secretly did care. It was strange his attention was caught by you, a simple person with nothing special to note.

"Yeah..." You nodded your head answering his question.

"Why?"

"Haven't you ever wondered what it felt like? I do..I want to feel again." You said. You felt something wet slide down your cheek.

"But you're crying." Akutagawa said pointing.

"Huh?" Your palm slid across your cheek and you indeed felt tears. The feeling of water, it wasn't what you expected.

"I didn't notice.." You said monotonously.

"Since you're crying aren't you feeling sad?" Akutagawa asked.

"I wouldn't know. I stopped feeling things along time ago. Maybe it's just leftover tears my brain stored." You said wiping your face with your arms. Akutagawa coughed in his hand before walking over to you. He held out his other hand while his right covered his face slightly.

"Come down from there." He said, it sounded more like an order.

Why is he helping you? Doesn't he realize no matter what you're beyond help?

You just grabbed his hand anyway and he pulled you from the railing. You sat on the ground burying your head in your knees. Akutagawa joined you sitting and letting his thoughts take over.

'Why am I even here with this girl?' He really did wonder why. You weren't that special and all you ever did was stand around looking ready to jump from the bridge. But somehow every encounter he's had so far he felt this magnetic attraction. Maybe it was because he saw a void, he knew you were sinking. He felt the same way, the darkness is a powerful thing after all.

"This is your fifth attempt, don't you ever give up?" He asked.

"I didn't even realized I tried so much. But the water just looked so captivating I wanted to feel it." You said looking down.

"Be honest with me are you depressed?"

"Yes, I'm lost...I'm in a fog and I can't get out. I feel nothing, and I'm tired. I want..someone to save me." You said staring blankly at the ground.

Akutagawa felt a twinge in his chest making him furrow his brow.
'Am I really feeling sympathy?'

"You seem to care..." You stated your observation out loud. He stiffened slightly his eyes glancing at yours, which were still staring at the ground.

"I can assure you I don't..."

"Heh.." You let out a humorless scoff, "Liar..."

Akutagawa's curiosity got the best of him. He wanted to know more, who you were, where you came from, what caused you to be this way. He wanted to know why the darkness would take someone as simple as you. He put a shaky hand on your head, this was the first time he would attempt to comfort someone or anyone at all really. He ran his fingers through your hair causing you to look up at him.

"What's your name?" He asked.

You gave a smile, but not a happy or joyful smile, but a simple smile.

"(L/n) (Y/n)."

A/N: Depression is hard to write about, but I tried to make it sound accurate. This is my own take on it, it's where you feel nothing at all not even sadness but like nothing's enjoyable and it's just an empty void. Anyway bleeeeh writer's block suuucks!

Next:

Chuuya x Reader

Dazai x reader

Akutagawa x reader x Dazai