-in chat-

Dazai: Hey babe.

Chuuya: God, what is wrong with you? You always send me some random fucking messages at 3 am in the morning and spam me with pictures of your hands and all that shit before leaving me hanging after telling me you'll share a secret about the Armed Detective Agency. Can you stop being such a bitch?

Dazai: I just wanna fucking die.

Dazai: Help me

Chuuya: Oh shit, where are you? I'm coming over in, like, 30 seconds. Just stay where you are and don't kill yourself before I get there. I swear, it's going to be fucking fine.

^soukoku in a goddamned nutshell.