Akutagawa who is in the mood to roast people and not kill them: for now: Hello dazai-san.

Dazai: Hi akutagawa, merry Christmas!

Akutagawa: I got you a gift.

Higuchi, Hirotsu, Tachihara and Gin: *walk in carrying a coffin*

Dazai: awww thank you--

Akutagawa: no, not the coffin. Look inside.

Dazai: *looks inside and sees a *insert dazai's height* cm condom*

Dazai:

Dazai: The fuck is this for

Akutagawa: Wear it to the Christmas party. Suits you.

And it took dazai three seconds to get akutagawa's intentions merey christmas earth