CADEN

I'd get over the past if it was something that obliged my command like all the shitheads ready to worship me.

But there are some things that won't just fade away, and my stained past is among those things.

Even though I am not desperate for change, it doesn't mean I don't fear for myself. Because I hell of a lot did fear, for happiness is something my past had obscured and only brought along the darkest of days, and anyone smart as Mad would know I had dwelled in.

Sometimes it terrifies me more than I can begin to put in words, like right now. Having Dad right around my fingers was like a longer slide for Poseidon's revenge ride. Thrilling at the beginning but once you realize you wouldn't stop dipping and there was no near end, you panicked.

My dad deserves a lot of karma bouncing back to him but didn't deserve me almost throttling him to death.

I didn't want to be violent but it seems that's where I was climbing these days. And I guess I have reached the cliff today when I almost made my bastard father convert to the famous religion, namely, Caden Thaddeus.

Ire, I pack up the little belongings I've come here with. While doing so, a knock came from the outer surface of my window.

Wait! A knock came from the outer surface of my window. Then I caught a glimpse of a shadow.

Thoughtful, I hesitated. Not because I was afraid of anything lively but because I'd never been. But because I was afraid it was a holiday and it could be my human servants stalking me to bow down to my needs like they have been for years, knowing I was back home now. I mean back hell since dad had made sure of that.

When the persistent knocking kept on.

I exasperatedly rolled my eyes to the back of my skull where it discovers remembrance. And then everything sinks in.

It's Mad!

Of course, she's the only person I know who climbs the wall and sneaks through windows.

Rubbing my temples, I rush over to open the window for her.

As soon as her stunning self was revealed from the outside, she smiled that soulful grin, like the little criminal that she is as though tears hadn't streamed from her eyes when she left the living area just some minutes ago.

Anxious to touch her, I helped her in. The instant she stepped into my dim room, she height on her toes and attached her lips to mine.

Okay!

It was an eager kiss that reminded me of that day at the alley. It was relaxing, tension tension-relieving.

Then her eyes snapped wider when they found something I can't quite tell yet.

She pulled back, a frown formed on her features. "Are you packing?"

Oh, that! "I don't want anything to do with here. It brings back everything from before in their wake." I said while she turned her back to me, her eyes staring at my backpack.

"Caden is late." She quietly said, walking over to my bed to settle by the edge. Her ankles crossed and her fingers laced on her thighs.

I, being the nincompoop, just stood there and admired how pretty she was. "In the morning, we can leave if you want to." She added, her tired eyes pleading.

I hate I have to pull her into my shit all the time. She has been committed to pain because of me, and now that I wanted to give her the world, I still fail.

I walk over to the bed and quietly drop hip to hip next to Mad. There were distinct arguments between Dad and his beloved wife coming from the hallway that we both ignored. Instead, I guide my hand between Mad's and untangle her intertwined fingers to make room for mine.

She sighs and rests her head on my shoulder. She was exhausted, I only wanted to get her out of here.

To make her happy.

But instinct was irresistible and it brought a realistic image of the unforgettable day of my life.

"Right there by the window." I stare at the opened window Mad had followed through, blowing chilly winds into the room.

She was silent, but I knew she was listening because I could feel the softness of her breathing on my shoulder. And her heartbeat steering to race up.

"It was where I stood, watching my mother pull her boxes into the truck." She didn't look back. It was like she was finally freed and wanted nothing to do with her past.

It was at times like this I wished I inherited that courage she had: of leaving her heavy past at the bottom and rescuing her head above the water.

I never understood the reason why she did it without pulling me with her, and surely it's among the major reasons I was the fucked up I am today. But the damage had been done, I've been moping over this shit for half of my life. I should have the bravery to get past it like my mother did with me left behind.

"You were so tiny," Mad whispered.

"I had to step on the box," I confessed, not understanding why I was smiling. "My height delayed," I added.

"I saw that in the album." She sounded weary.

How can I make her happy?

I draw in a deep breath and stare at the vacant star sky through the loose window.

This time when I smiled at myself, I was fully mindful of why.

"You wanna hear a story?" I asked the quiet girl resting her head on my shoulder.

"Yes," she replied.

Gleaming as a specific memory overran my mind.

I thought Mad should learn about it for she's mine.

"Venus glowed with a steady, silvery light, radiating merely beauty. She is the goddess of love. Her two primary divine lovers were her husband, Vulcan, and Mars, also known as Aries. Their love was forbidden."

Mad rose from my shoulder, bearing her heated gaze on me. I could feel it everywhere on my skin.

"Just like Orion and Artemis," she mumbled.

I nodded, repeating her words: "Just like Orion and Artemis."

While our parents continued to disagree with each other from the hallway, I proceeded in a gentle tone. "Venus was married to Vulcan, the god of fire, who was often described as old, unattractive, and dull. Vulcan, a blacksmith by trade, was a practical and straightforward man, but he didn't excite Venus in the slightest." I smiled, watching Mad involuntarily laugh out loud at what I just said about Vulcan. She had to bring her hands over her mouth to shield the hints of noises.

"Venus fell for Mars who was much more exciting, powerful, and handsome," I added, bringing a genuine ecstatic smile to her face.

"When Vulcan discovered their affair, he crafted an incredibly fine net of iron, so delicate it was nearly invisible. The trap ensnared Mars and Venus while they were together in bed, exposing them to ridicule as the others watched and laughed."

"That's unfair." She sadly mumbled.

"The invincible Mars looked absurd, all bound up like a caught fish." I cupped her cheek and stroked her smooth skin, staring into those eyes that saw hope in me. "However, even the gods who laughed were secretly envious. Even Mercury, who was known for his lack of sexual desire among the immortals, jested that he wouldn't mind being ensnared if it meant a chance to be with Venus."

That made Mad smile, and she leaned into my palm.

"So loving Venus is worth taking a risk?" She asked. Her cheeks were a hue of red.

She was rosy in my hand.

"She's worth all," I ascertained, meaning her in particular.

"But they didn't end up together."

"Love wins, Mad. They even had a daughter Harmonia."

"Really?" She seemed excited.

I couldn't help smiling at her adorable reaction. "They reunited. Venus calmed his anger and soothed his temper. She would watch over him as he slept peacefully. Their love prevailed." I confirmed. The story is like ours. For Mad, I will do anything. Our love must win, I am fighting all my demons so she can have all of me.

She appeared skeptical but asked. "Who told you all these stories."

"My father," I honestly answered. That's the problem in all this messed up reality that I found myself: "He'll say: Venus isn't all light and Mars isn't all shadow, because together Mars and Venus represent one whole person, but we always look at them separately just like we distance ourselves from each other." I air quoted.

"That's inspiring. He used to talk to you?" She questioned confusedly.

"In some rare moments, when he's in a mood that suited an after-party of a successful business, he would involve me along with Cara and tell us different stories to remind us how strong a twin bond is. If you come to think of it clearly, it was all a warning to look after Cara. So when I failed, the hatred increased by each day."

"I don't believe he hates you. A parent can never hate their child. Mostly when he's the only child they have left." She claimed while her hands disappeared into my hair.

It feels so comforting and very much arousing.
Not at a serious time like this.

"Sad, it makes no sense. I almost hit him. And I still want to hit him. There was no sense in all of this. Mad, I am messed up. I am so sorry I am like this. You deserve perfection, I am in no way close to it."

"Yet, I want your messed up ass for myself." She retorted, batting her long lashes.

I watched her lips parted, how she let out a gasp before she mustered up an assuring smile. "God, you are strikingly beautiful. You've always glowed beauty in my eyes. I wonder what the gods who thought Venus was perfect would say when they see you." I let out, she looked down at my chest, her cheeks remaining the shade of red that it has been since after she came through the window.

"Thank you," She shyly replied.

Why is she thanking me? I am in that position to be grateful for having her.

That's when the most insane decision tattooed itself in my mind and head, and I blurted: "Marry me? I don't want to find out what those gods will say, I am jealous of you it drives my mind crazy, I guess that's the main part we will concentrate on finding help for. But it has to be after I am yours and you are mine legally. If you will have me, of course."

Immediately, through the first two words, her eyes met mine.

She looked terrified, but I still kept going, not having control over my mouth, my head, or any organ in my body: "We can have it anywhere you want, even right here."

"What?" She gasped, she was caught off guard.

I know I sound like I was just slapped by a dove. Who requests such from a girl? Such commitment all of a sudden after years of rebelling against the opposite sex?

"I know it's too much to ask for, okay? But not marrying you soon is just some waste of priceless time when I know you're my pigeon. And we're bonded to mate for life."

"Caden, this is insane. We are still step-siblings. Dad and mom?"

"Which we don't give a fuck." I shifted on the bed until I was fully facing her. "Our parents will never consent to our happiness. Anyways. And not for them will we deny ourselves that."

"I-"

"We will get tied up of love forever and go to places together, snap weird pictures through, heal, support, and live just the two of us. We could enjoy the weather in California. Hike to Hollywood sign and make a bucket list; we could go anywhere together, Chatham, Saudi Arabia... outside the country, anywhere the tires take us."

"Caden, that's an aircraft thing," she playfully chastised, glowing her beguiling smile. And I delayed, studying every detail of it.

"I just want to be anywhere you are. I don't want to miss any chance. I want to make up for all my mistakes, the saddest times I've drowned us in, the times when I punished us instead of allowing us to feel what lives truly inside of us." At first, Mad seemed temporarily inactivated while I desperately waited for an answer.

Briefly, her tongue wetted her lips before she began, "I want the same too, but Caden, this is crazy."

"We've been crazy since the first day," I indicated.

"God, you're rebellious." Again, she playfully accused.

"Glad to know you're cognizant of that."

"Can I think about it?" She mumbled, smiling.

That's a good sign.

"Sure." I nodded.

As long as it doesn't take forever, or then I might have to pursue it. Or not. We are healing, I am healing.