CADEN

I had been acquainted with tension, but I had never let myself feel fear of losing someone since after that painful feeling when mom walked away when I was little.

You see, I lost Cara because I had to follow after a ball we were playing with. I lost Mom just because I couldn't convince her I was doing okay under the bathtub when she drowned me.

Now I am not losing that last person I have left.

So when Mad walked away from me on that rainy night, fear was launched. And it began to invade me.

Mad had never been the one to leave home. That was me these days. So since she disappeared on Thanksgiving, I didn't find peace anymore.

The first night, I refused to believe she'd stay away from me... Away from home, but then it happened. She didn't return that night.

On Friday, I sat in fear around the messed-up apartment with empty bottles and plastic cups lying around the floor, waiting for her to walk through the door, but it never happened. I began to panic.

I was alone this time, and I started to understand how it felt when I stayed away all those days, leaving her in this sad space that could turn a psycho deranged.

I searched through the dirty house for my mobile phone that I had been away from for a whole day, and when I found it, I didn't waste any second; I kept dialing Mad's phone number, but there was nothing.

I thought she left me.

Of course, she would. I had treated her inadequately for years. Mad deserves happiness, and God knows I wanted to give her that every time I looked into her eyes full of hope for us.

But there's always that part of me that reminds me of who I am and how Mad and I can never be together. That part stings harder than anything. Because it was active and always there, providing vivid colors of the painful memories of those I lost and how I will never get them back. It threatened to take away those memories from my nightmares if I take a chance of letting Mad in.

I do not want to be like dad, I don't want to be that one who forgets about his twin sister and his mother. I can't just throw away their memories like they never gave me life. Like they never existed around me.

It was hard because they were my only happiness. And with Mad, she was even more. But around her, Mom and Cara fade quickly.

Through that anxiety, I cleared the house on Saturday while I kept trying to reach Mad, but every time it goes to her voicemail.

I had hurt her really bad, I had done something I never thought I'd do to any woman.

And what I feared was that broken gaze she threw before she turned away.

On Sunday, I lost all patience and drove around town looking for her.

Afraid, I even called some hospitals and stopped at the police station.

I became terrified; I couldn't do anything. I couldn't eat, shower, and sleep.

There was nothing from her.

She was really serious about leaving this time.

That evening, I promised to God 'I will never take Mad for granted' if he brings her back to me.

That same night, Paxton visited along with his girl who shares the same name as my stepsister. And I almost lost it.

But somehow, the universe decided to prove to me that people named Madison would always be smart and kind, for this Madison told me to wait until the weekday, and I could go check at my stepsister's workplace.

It sounded civil that I did the next morning; that is, early on a Monday morning.

And surprisingly, I found her. Looking dangerously pretty. I couldn't resist.

All I needed was to be a little honest.

And like a miracle, things got better, and she became mine officially.

Only this time, I won't hurt her again. I wouldn't have to experience that torturing pain from the past week.

I hated that feeling.

So after we had made up and settled on making our relationship work even with the risks that we were both aware of, we made it on time to the rest of the classes where I had Mad by my side as I always wanted.

Just this time, I was the one writing down the notes for both of us, and I even tried not to be mean to her friend who gave her a place to stay when she left home last week.

Maybe he's not that bad afterward.

After the Biological Basis of Behavior class that Mad had fully enjoyed, I remained with her in the empty classroom and chatted on unnecessary things until I received a text message from Keith, my lookout.

The message was like a packaged prize for Christmas.

It says.

"I found her; she's attending Genetics all by herself, and the professor is about to leave."

Reading that, I knew who he meant.

Daisy Esteban.

You see, I wanted to move on, and the only way to do that is to mess up Kane Esteban.

He was the seed of all my crises. I can't let this go away just like that.

I want to feel whatever it is that Mad was able to feel for me. I want to feel that for her too... And I think if I don't avenge the murder of Cara, I won't be able to pass this messed-up stage I'm stuck in.

With a smile, I pecked Mad's knuckle and promised to return before the next class.

She was amused, I saw it in her complexion, but she gnawed her bottom lip and said. "Okay."

In my car, I drove at an insane speed, hoping this is the time when I got the fish in my net.

When I got to the building, the lecture was still going on, so I had to wait for ten to fifteen minutes before everyone began to exit the auditorium.

I wanted to be as quiet as possible until I get to clasp that girl with long brown hair, writing down in her notebook.

It was a challenge though, with the gasps and whoa's and hi's from Mad's species.

I had to curse underneath my breath all the time, watching Esteban's family breathe freely like her father didn't terminate the air for Cara. Like her father wasn't the devil who stole my happy life from me, who also made my mom go sociopathic and my dad hate me more than any soul alive.

No!

She shouldn't be here; she should have stayed in Hong Kong and never returned to America.

I lurched into the scanty auditorium as she was thrusting her belongings into her bag.

When she rose from the chair without perception of the hell she was getting into. She was welcomed by her fear.

She instantly became pale in front of me; I could hear the throbbing of her heart as she froze with parted lips in her stance.

Yes! That was fear. The one Cara felt while she died alone on the street.

The pleasure of seeing that reflection on this pretty girl was everything; I couldn't stop the smirk.

She wouldn't move, I mean there was nowhere to go. I was shielding her passage, and behind her was some group of students gaping at me. As I said, nowhere to go. And for once, I thank God for my admirers. Her breathing was heavy and stressed.

I knew dread when I saw one, and right now, she was horrified to the max. It twinkled in her teary eyes. Oh, her guardian angel isn't around to save her this time. She was all alone, she was mine to shatter in pieces. There was no guard to save her from my wrath.

"It looks like it's just you and me, no governor's boy." I exhaled and stepped closer until she was more than intimidated. "You are all mine alone to bake..." I coldly whispered before harshly commanding. "Now let's go."

Rigid, she stood still, not obligating my order. I had to grab her arm and pull her out of the auditorium with her backpack hanging over my shoulder. She was mine now. I could do anything I wish, anything I desire until her tears are painted over Cara's blood in my eyes.

With all those memories of happy and lively Cara coming into my head, we approached my vehicle. I didn't hesitate, I opened the door and threw the backpack in. I ordered her to get in, practically shoving her, but the universe turned against me. Just as it had always done.

"Stay away from her."

Son of a bitch.