MADISON

Bored and exhausted, I check my phone for anything, but there was none.

So I let my legs drag my body to my tidy office where it smells just like fresh flowers and papers.

I instinctively sigh behind the open door, my fingers pinching the bridge of my nose.

At that moment, I felt a touch on my shoulder; it startled me, and instantly I flinch and pivot.

Then my frightened eyes meet Caleb. This is not how I wanted to start my day.

He was neatly dressed in a shirt and blue jeans pants, but his red hair was slightly rough, and his eyes look a little tired.

"What are you doing here?" I went on immediately I was able to speak.

He shoves one hand in his pocket and pressed his lips together before going on: "I came to see you."

My brows pinched together: "You have to book an appointment, and you can book that with someone that's not me." That part got me raising my brow.

"But I want you." He blinked and swallows.

Okay, I am not doing this right now.

"Caleb, please leave."

"Why? Because I am not him?" He practically yelled, and everything around me paused, including my breathing.

"What?" I mumbled, cautiously.

Caleb cleared his throat and stepped closer a little when he confirms my fear: "I know there's something between you and your brother, Mad."

I couldn't even realize he was addressing me wrongly, maybe it was a mockery. But he said he knew my secret. Was it that obvious? How many people noticed then?

Oh my God!

"That's not true... How dare you say..."

"I saw you two in the backyard." He cuts me off with those words, and everything becomes blank.

My heart was racing in my chest; there's a sinking feeling in my stomach, I couldn't even blink.

Then I heard a familiar voice snarl: "Get out!"

It was Caden's, and there I was hoping today couldn't get any worse.

He was shooting Caleb a threatening glare that could kill. Well, I am sure he heard Caleb too.

With both hands up and shrugged lips, Caleb stepped back and glanced at me for the last time before exiting the office.

Just when the tension reduces, I release a deep breath and bring my eyes to the man staring at me.

"Get out," I instructed him.

But he stood there with his hands in his pockets, not showing any chance of budging.

When he didn't move, I decided to leave him in there alone: "Okay." I say and take a step toward the exit, but he was quick to shift to the door and stand against it, blocking my way. Spreading his scent all around me.

My eyes automatically closed before him; It took everything in me to not break down: "Caden, move..."

"Just give me a minute..." I heard him pleaded from opposite me. It got my eyes flying open to stare at him unbelievably.

He must be insane. He thinks he can trick me again?

That's old. I am leaving him for good, I am moving out today.

He used my feelings against me, so I know damn well he was capable of destruction.

"I can't look at you..." I said with detest. "I hate you, are you happy now? Isn't it what you prefer? Everyone hating on you? Just get out of my office, please." I said the last part boldly.

"I hated you because you replaced her."

Okay, that's where I halted and blinked. "Wh-what?" I stammered.

His head downcasted, his eyes drilling into the carpet, he repeats: "I hated you because you... Replaced her." this time, he sounded pained. Inflicting weakness and confusion in me.

With a creased forehead, I mumble: "Who?"

I needed clearance. I need to understand what he meant.

"My sister." He simply said without looking at me, and my stomach dropped.

He never talked about her; no one talks about Cara. Why are we talking about Cara?

And then he said he hates me because of her?

"Caden... I never thought about that... I thought you were... I thought the family had... You never mentioned her." I fumbled on my words with difficulty in understanding why this is brought up now.

"Because you took away everything left of hers... Her room, her space... Her smartness... Her parent... Everything, there was nothing left to talk about." He swallowed. His bulged Adam's apple shifts slightly in his throat.

Oh my God! I was doing the hurting.

Panicked, I stutter: "I... I don't know... I never knew."

His eyes came up and met mine; they were saturated with agony, contrition, and somewhat... loneliness.

"She was loved by dad, but she was easily erased after you and Martha came in. You became the only one dad ever sees. You clouded over what was left of her. He had so much hope in you. He believed in you that he forgot about Cara. He tossed away her stuff, every memory of hers like she never existed. All he talked about was you in college and getting married to a good man, and I hated you for that." He sadly uttered; his nose flared, his expression, pained.

I don't know what to say... Was I that oblivious that I never notice? Indeed, he had believed I was replacing his twin sister. He had felt hostility towards me and bullied me as revenge for his sister...

"I-I am so sorry, Caden. I didn't know you felt that way. I never want to replace your twin sister... I can never replace Cara. She's you... She might not be here, but she's everything that's you. I am just your stepsister." I whispered the last part; my eyes welled up, mostly for him.

I never knew I was hurting him this bad. Over four years...

"I let her down..." He breathed and looked away.

Shaking my head, I didn't think when I let myself grab his arm and made him look back at me. "You didn't... You're hurting," I softly told him.

"Maybe... But I don't feel it." His brows pinched together, confusedly.

"You don't, because..." I swallowed the lump in my throat and brought my hand over his sharp jaw and cheekbone. "Because you made the pain a part of you. You grew up with it, and it has become common in you."

"I need you... Please help me." He paused and shook his head. "I don't want to hurt you again, I don't want to hurt anymore. I am sorry." He muttered.

"Caden." I was speechless... I could only stroke his gorgeous face.

"What I did that night? I couldn't forgive myself... I don't know what came over me. I was..." He stopped, eyes wide, his chest rising and falling fast.

I stepped back and interlinked our fingers. "Come..." I led him to a chair, while I took the one across from him.

"You? Aren't you going to say no?" He asked, his tone confused.

"Why?"

"I treated you poorly."

"But you needed help. And I promise to do that for you. Besides, what is family for?" I smiled small at him, and his eyes dropped to his laced fingers.

There was a frown on his face; I didn't know how to wash it away.

He wants me to help... I shouldn't let him down.

"My father left us when I was very little." I swallowed down painfully in the wake of my history. "He was addicted to drugs and was the impatient kind. The one that slaps my mom around and shouts at me all the time. I always dreamed of a television-type family... so when my mom meets your dad I thought God has given me one... I don't want to mess anything up... I didn't need to be your dad's daughter. I only needed quiet, I promise. I never thought you felt like that. I never wanted to cross any borderline. If I knew I was occupying Cara's space... Caden, I would've moved out of that room immediately... I wouldn't hurt you purposely. I always wanted to bond with you. We just got off on the wrong foot." I let out the breath I was holding after I finished.

He had only observed me while I was talking, and what he asks next was something I never thought.

"Did I hurt you!" He looked worried.

I looked down, pushing back the ache from Thanksgiving. "It doesn't matter," I said, mostly to myself. I've been hurting him also.

"It does..." He inclined forward and grabbed my hand in between his. He quietly studied our hands before he appends: "I hate what I did to you... I know I hurt you."

"Will you do it again?" I asked.

His eyes locked with mine and he froze. "I-I.." He was breathing through his mouth.

"Caden..."

"I don't... I can't control what I do." He answered. Honesty is evident in his aggrieved eyes. It cuts deep in my heart.

"You are letting the pain get the best of you; you need to feel something new... Something better than pain."

"I don't know anything that's not it."

I exhaled. And now it was my turn to look at our attached hands. "Maybe I can help you feel something else; I am your stepsister and just that... Can we start up like that?" I bring my questioning eyes to him.

"I don't want to start up..." He blurted and my heart stops. "I don't want that relationship alone."

With a gaping mouth, I mumble: "What..."

"Do you..." He looked away from me, seizing the opportunity to see through him, to know whether he was real, to believe in him. "Have you given up on me?" I caught him swallowing.

Of course, not. Probably never. And that's the problem. No matter how much he hurt me, I only seem to miss him more. Am I okay? Maybe something is wrong with me.

I shouldn't get him involved in my imagination... He never wants me.

"We can't..." I begin but he interrupted, shifting closer in his chair. "We can." He assured.

In shock, I watch him. "You don't want... You've never..." The words get caught up in my throat.

"I can try." He said.

"Caden..."

But again, he interrupted, he rushes his words, saying: "With you, I can sleep without seeing them... With you, everything is erased that I fear someday I will forget their smile."

I stood from my chair and walk between his open legs, pulling his head to my chest while he wraps his hands around my waist.

"I promise to change... I will never hurt you again..."

"Shhhh," I whispered, caressing his soft hair...

This moment was precious and priceless.

Please don't let me down again.

We arrived home after ten in the morning and I excitedly exit his vehicle, before Caden claims my hand with a smile and leads us into the quiet building.

Since it's morning on a Monday, everywhere is quiet; most of the residents were either at school or work.

So we can PDA as we want.

Through the elevator ride to our floor, I told Caden about my weekend, and my new friend, Daniel. He listened quietly and smiled every two three seconds.

And by the time we get to the corridor, we were bantering and laughing at my audacity to cut off the whole power.

"We should grab breakfast?" He asked while unlocking the door.

"I will need to change my clothes first then, maybe we can even make it to some classes," I replied when I walked into the tidy place that smells like food and a lit fireplace.

Did he cook again? I almost smile.

"Boring..." Caden reluctantly said, taking off his boots.

"We need good grades to pass." I lift my eyes at him playfully, my hands patting his hard chest.

Smiling, I turn back into that nice living area.

Accurate. The fireplace was lit up as I had thought.

But the next second brought reality with it and woke me up from my ridiculous dream.

"Finally, you are back, I've unpacked my clothes already." She says, walking out of his room in his shirt that was oversized on her.

Avery.

Of course, coming here was a trap.

I gasped.

Oh, naive me.