MADISON

I'm stuck in that damn unhelpful breathing thing that does nothing but amplify my aimless thoughts. Everything I see is tinged with red in my vision.

Caleb left an hour ago, yet I'm still unable to react to anything he told me or the thoughts I've tried to bury since morning.

Caden, Caden, Caden. It's always about him. I long for a world without his tempting eyes, the mesmerizing sound of his perfect voice, the irresistible pull of those soft lips. I yearn for a world without Caden's elusive scent, a flavor no one can compete to a quarter of, the warmth of his body when he uses it to intimidate me. Perhaps I crave a world where I understand that abstract feeling. Or maybe I just want a world where I have all the package, along with a caring stepbrother, like everyone else.

Right now, I'm in a mess.

I can't even face him because I don't know how to. After the mess I've dealt with twice already, you can understand. I should, because any girl with a spine wouldn't sit in an empty office, lost in thought while the enemy lurks.

I shoved the wad of money into Caleb's chest and demanded he leave my office. I warned him to stay away, as I don't want to see him again. And that's the truth; I can't handle more pressure with Caden's burden weighing me down.

The fact that Caleb agreed to Caden's fifty thousand from the start makes him a snitch. I had higher hopes for him, I trusted him. For a moment, I believed he could be the one I'd escape with, leaving Caden behind. But he shattered that naive dream, proving the real world isn't a fairy tale.

Why should I believe him now? Why listen to him?

I need strength. I must keep my defenses up. Maybe I can even wield a weapon to fend off my fears.

Without thinking, I grab my jacket, sling the small crossbody bag over my shoulder, and leave the office.

"Leaving already?" Julie asks, packing up her things from the desk.

"Yep, already," I nod.

Despite having fewer clients, I've consistently been the last to leave the building. Well, if you don't count the security team, Raphael and Granger, who spend their nights guarding the place.

"If you're headed home, why not ride together?" Julie suggests.

"Julie, I don't really..."

"Don't say a word. It's my pleasure. Besides, Oxford Avenue is on my way. Why not toss that bicycle in the trunk and hop in the car?" She raises an inquisitive eyebrow, and I know it's best not to drag this out.

"Alright, thanks," I reply with a grateful smile.

"Hold on, I'll just use the restroom, and then we'll head out," she whispers the word 'restroom,' glancing towards the entrance where Raphael is.

I can't help but smile as she does a little jog to the bathroom, leaving me alone in the eerily quiet reception area.

Still smiling, my bag vibrates. For a moment, I forget about technology and civilization, that there's a mobile phone in my bag. I jump and let out a girly, panicked scream. Wide-eyed, heart racing.

"Are you alright, Miss Thaddeus?"

Loud footsteps approach, and then a woman's voice, filled with terror: "Murders in the building?"

My eyes shift from Raphael to Julie, and the woman has her panties around her knees. My eyes widen further, if possible.

Once she realizes her dramatic situation and the onlookers, she curses under her breath and pulls up her underwear. Luckily, her dress is above-the-knee, sparing her blushes. "Why the scream, girl?" She directs the question at me.

Okay, take a breath. You didn't just cause a woman to walk out of the restroom in disarray in front of a mature man.

"I-I was standing right there," I point to my previous spot with a nervous smile. "And then my bag buzzed." I nervously laugh in the silence.

Feeling like a colossal idiot.

I glance back at Raphael; he's practically blushing as he bids us goodnight and awkwardly exits the room.

Maybe I should sprint and grab my bicycle. It's my only escape from Julie.

The discreet 'restroom' reference has turned into a public, practical experience.

"Ever heard of something called a phone?" Julie mocks as we leave the building.

"It caught me off guard," I defend as we approach her 2004 Honda Accord.

Julie stops and turns to me with a serious expression, her hand resting on her car's roof. "No, if you have a phone, you'd expect it to buzz at any time. The only explanation here is that you were overthinking, and it got to you."

Was I?

Instead, I retrieve my bicycle and carefully load it into the truck. Once it's securely in place, I move to the passenger side and get into Julie's car.

Throughout the ride, I feel her piercing gaze, but I choose to ignore it. I keep my eyes on the window, mentally rehearsing what I've prepared to say to Caden.

Does he really think he can mess with me? Buy people who try to understand me? Use violence as he pleases? No way! He truly disgusts me.

I can't believe he fought with Kaiser Chandler outside our apartment. He's involving himself in fights? Of all people, he chose to fight with a prominent and influential family in the state? Classic Caden.

Caden is everything but MMA; he doesn't waste his time on anything that isn't about bullying me. Hearing that he fought with Kaiser is perplexing, as they were barely friends and certainly not enemies.

Both were widely renowned on campus, each controlling their own territory while keeping to themselves. So, what could have possibly transpired that led to a brutal fight? Unless you tell me it's about ego and arrogance, then it wouldn't be surprising, considering they share that trait, much like King Kong and Godzilla.

This confusion continues, as Caleb alleges that my clueless stepbrother punched him after forcing money into his hand. Agreed, there is a visible bruise that supports his claim, which summed up why he followed me to my workplace. Oh, and did he say "fuck me" or "fight me"? As he put it, on the hood of his car in a foggy alley.

Damn, everything is a complete mess right now. Maybe I do need therapy.

One thing's for sure: Caden is going to make a move the moment I step into that house. So, if I could catch him off guard first and project strength, maybe I'll have a shot at winning this showdown.

We all know he's going to blame me for last night, even though it's clear he wanted it just as much as I did.

When Julie parked on my residential street, she had to nudge my arm to pull me out of my scattered thoughts.

With a smile and an apology, I thank her for the ride, retrieve my bicycle from the truck, and stand by the curb, watching her car fade into the distance until its red lights disappear.

After a few minutes of overthinking how to approach Caden, I finally summon the courage to enter the house.

With each step, I take a deep breath, reminding myself he's just an obnoxious stepbrother whom I should be able to tolerate better now that I'm a college girl. I've made it through the past four years; I can handle this. The only difference is that I stupidly gave him my virginity when he was drunk and then again around the corner of the street.

Man, I'm in a really messed-up situation. I'm utterly repulsed by myself.

On the fourth floor, I spend a whole minute staring at the door in front of me, wondering how the next moment will come to be once I step inside. Will I strangle him? Slap him? Or can we actually communicate without acting like primitive beings?

The last option seems highly unlikely, though.

Finally, I turn the doorknob, my heart racing as I step into the dim and quiet space along with my bicycle.

For the first time since I moved here, the place feels like a real family home. It's tidy, free of the usual mess that drives me crazy, and devoid of random one-night stands wandering around the living room wearing Caden's shirt.

Honestly, I have to admit, I feel both comforted and terrified.

Then Caden emerges from his bedroom, freezing time and the presence of any other beings and objects.

"You're home?" It's more of a statement than a question. His voice is deep, resonant, and his eyes, soft and glittering in the dim lamplight.

Okay, did I just walk into a dream?