Sehyuk has watched two short animes and three movies in a span of two days. He's been restless and watching has been something to distract him. But it's glaringly obvious as he keeps zoning out in the middle of the movie. All it took was a call from Kim Gyeom and the bitter feeling Sehyuk had buried, rose without a warning.

"I didn't want to tell you this but since you'll know it anyway, I have to. Your replacement is none other than Kang Kihyun." Gyeom spat in anger and Sehyuk shared his discontentment too. "The captains shot me down when I opposed that anyone could take your place but him. I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Sehyuk had sighed. "But thank you for doing that." He smiled genuinely and wished Gyeom the best of luck. But the smile died down as soon as he hung up.

Now Sehyuk sits uncomfortably in his wheelchair, fingers tapping over his basketball shorts that barely cover his knees. The football match with the other university is probably going on right now and he doesn't know what he's supposed to feel. Should he root for his mates to win since that's what he's supposed to do or wish they lose because he's wanted to be a part of the match for months.

The ding of his doorbell shakes him out of his thoughts. The blond boy wheels to the door and opens it.

"Delivery from Adidas for Min Sehyuk?" A man in blue overalls asks, looking at the name on his tablet and then at Sehyuk.

"Yes, that's me." He takes the package from the delivery guy and signs it off, bidding him farewell.

Sehyuk's mobile phone vibrates incessantly, notifications flooding in. He taps one of them, opening a trail of messages in the football group chat, congratulating everyone accompanied by dozens of emojis. He maneuvers his wheelchair towards the living room, still looking at the chat. The blond smiles but it's a bittersweet feeling. Undoubtedly he's happy for them, truly. But there's an emptiness inside of him that's asking to be filled. He taps on the group photo. Every player has a medal around their neck, the captain holding the trophy in the middle. But his eyes zoom in on one face. Kang Kihyun.

Sehyuk has never seen the older grin this wide. Ever. He's always sporting a well-versed scowl or looking down on him. But here he holds up a peace sign with his fingers, his lips parted in a box-like shape, leaning a bit down with an arm wounded around Wonho.

Sehyuk's fingers grip his mobile phone tightly, teeth grazing together. 'That should've been me.' The thought comes without a warning and the frustration he's been holding in since days cracks. He looks up and he's in front of the shelf beside the plasma T.V., the one showcasing rows of trophies and medals he won over the years. Running, relays, obstacles, shot-put, and others. His parents had sent these achievements over so he could feel proud of what he's accomplished. But now the trophies mock him from where they stand. Sehyuk reaches as far as his hand can, sweeping the golden cups with anger, the articles falling to the floor with loud clanks, and two of the glass trophies breaking into pieces as they collide and crash.

"It's over!" He yells, hand reaching for the lower rows. "I'm a cripple and there's nothing I can't do about it!" He throws the parcel he just received too.

He glares at his legs and folds himself, fisted palms pounding against his bare shin. "Just start moving, damn it!" He howls as he picks a piece of the broken glass trophy from the ground and pokes it at his flesh, not once but repeatedly. "Feel something!" He cries as the shard breaks through his skin and a streak of blood trickles down just as his tears go over his cheeks. "I'm sorry! I really am! Don't punish me like this!" Sehyuk chokes, brutally assaulting his shin, feeling the warmth and wetness of the blood.

"Hyuk!" A familiar voice bombards the room. "What are you doing!" Not long after, the broken glass is ripped from his hands and thrown to the side, arms reaching for his shoulders and pulling him close, hugging him firmly. "You have to calm down!"

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry," Sehyuk repeats, his hands limp on his sides. "I didn't mean to!" He sobs, suffocating on his words. "I swear! I hate myself!"

The other boy tightens his grip around him. "You did nothing wrong, Hyuk! It was Kihyun's fault too."

"No, no, you don't understand! Even before—bullies are the worst, all bullies should disappear!" Sehyuk clenches Jaemin's shirt. "Th—they break people from the inside. I hate h—" he takes in a sharp breath, letting out what he's been feeling all these weeks, too much to endure. "I'm no saint but I'm not a devil either."

"What...are you talking about, Hyuk? You're an amazing guy."

"Y-You don't...know the real m-me..."

Sehyuk cries his heart out as Jaemin holds him, both unaware of the presence lingering by the main door, slipping back outside without a word.

As minutes pass, Sehyuk's ragged breathing finally times down, his heaving chest resigning the rhythm it had been drumming against Jaemin. They move apart, the blond wiping his already dried tears, his nose runny and sweat seaming around his neck and shoulders.

"I'm sorry...you hurt your hand," Sehyuk says, taking Jaemin's wrist and inspecting it.

"Worry about yourself," the shorter replies, nudging his chin in the direction of Sehyuk's legs. "You—you terrified me. I have never seen you like this." His expression softens, eyes relaxing. "Are you alright? What happened?"

Sehyuk chuckles, head tilting upwards and fingers running through his hair. "I'm sorry, don't know what came over me. I guess the psychiatrist was right. I needed to let out how I was feeling or it would blow up one day. And look what happened."

"It's okay," Jaemin sighs, rubbing his temples. "Let me get the first aid kit for your wound."

Sehyuk closes his eyes, inhaling long and slow breaths, feeling his lungs fill with air. It wasn't right how his frustrations flashed up due to one picture because he isn't one to hold grudges and be bitter about it. But he does feel a lot better now, a heavy weight being lifted from his chest. Maybe the next time he meets Kihyun, it won't hurt as much as the last time he saw him.

Jaemin comes in with a red first aid kit, sitting down in front of Sehyuk, folding his legs in Indian style. "Don't ever do something like this again," he says firmly, wiping the blood off with a cotton pad. "Talk!" He throws his arms in the air. "For god's sake, talk if something is eating you up from the inside. I didn't want to push you but next time I will. Talking would solve half of the problems in the world."

"Are you saying I'm your world?"

"I'll cut open your wound if you talk nonsense. I'm not joking here." He snarls with jutted lips. "And if anything is my world, it's Sugarplum, not a masochistic guy."

"Your cat?" Sehyuk cackles, shaking his head in amusement. "Can't believe I'm less than an animal for you." He says with a mirthful grin but it falls as he peeks at Jaemin's lips pressed into a thin line. "Hey...is—"

"Are you seriously okay? I know I blabber a lot but I do pay attention. I have noticed that sometimes you just zone out when we're together and even being bullied by Kihyun is not normal, no one would willingly do that. And you're not an airhead, there's a calculated reasoning behind it." He glances at Sehyuk momentarily then goes back to sticking band-aids over his shin. "I'm not going to ask you about it but if there's anything, know that I'm here for you. Or you could talk to someone you think understands you better. And I take no offense in that. But—oh crap! I'm late!" Jaemin curses, fishing for his ringing mobile phone. "I'm sorry, I'll be there soon." He speaks into the phone and stands up, spraying alcohol over his cut. "This is the last time, please don't cut my pay."

"Is everything alright?" Sehyuk perks up, pulling his basketball shorts a bit.

"Yeah, yeah. That was my manager. I started a new part-time job."

"Why? Aren't you already working two?"

"I...I need the money." Jaemin averts his eyes and picks up the first aid kit. "I would've cleaned up the place but I really need to go."

Sehyuk senses the higher pitch of his voice but doesn't comment on it. "Okay, that's no problem at all. Thank you for coming. Also, how did you get in any way?"

"The door was open and then I heard crashing sounds so I rushed in."

He must've forgotten to close the door after the delivery when he saw the pictures.

"Are you really fine, Hyuk? Or do you want me here?"

"No, no. I'm a lot better, thank you for being here. You already did a lot."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"100%?"

"Yes, Byun Jaemin, I'm just hungry. So go, earn money for Sugarplum." He teases with a playful push to the older's torso.

"You're insufferable," Jaemin huffs, walking towards the main door. He puts his hand in the door handle and stops. "I don't know what it is in your past that got you like this, but I wouldn't hate you for it because I know you've been genuine with me the whole time. The you in the present is what matters most." With one last look and wave of a hand, Jaemin leaves.

Sehyuk stares at the closed door, an involuntary smile and shyness touching his lips and cheeks. "Thanks." He says and unlocks his mobile phone and checks the time. It's usually when he has dinner with Kihyun. They had already decided to get burgers from Mama's Diner the previous day and the other had informed that he would get them on his way back from university. Now that all his ill feelings have diminished, he calls Kihyun to confirm their dinner.

He hears the ringing but the guy doesn't pick up. Once, twice, and three calls later, Sehyuk gives up. He then calls Gyeom.

"Congratulations on the win, Kim," he grins as soon as the boy picks up his call. "I knew you weren't a lost cause after all." There's quite a racket going on in the background.

"Shut up," Gyeom snorts, almost yelling over the other voices. "Why don't you come to the celebratory dinner, the captain is treating us."

Ah, that's where Kihyun must be. "Is Kang Kihyun there too?"

"Ugh," Gyeom groans before anything. "He already left an hour ago because he had prior dinner plans, way to boast, that prick."

Sehyuk almost laughs at the grumbling tone but holds it in. Little did his friend know the said plans were with him. Gyeom would come over and smack him in the head if he told him that so Sehyuk just shakes his head with a chuckle. "Alright, alright. Go and enjoy. Let's meet up whenever you have time."

"Sure, Hyuk. I don't have classes till ten tomorrow. We can go out for breakfast."

"Alright." Sehyuk hangs up after bidding farewell and opens his messaging app to send a text to Kihyun.

But there's no reply or calls for days. His messages are left unread and calls go to voicemail. Sehyuk doesn't know what to make of it when he hasn't given any reason for this treatment. He knows nothing is wrong with Kihyun as Gyeom tells him he's been seeing him at the university, during football practice.

"I don't care anymore." Sehyuk rolls his eyes and stops waiting on him. He has other things to do than eat a free dinner.

Kihyun ghosts him until he doesn't.

Sehyuk finds him on his doorstep, huffing and sweaty, white shirt marred with blood just as his hands are.

"I-I...I didn't know where else to go..." Kihyun croaks, eyes laced with fear. "I didn't mean to do it, I swear."

Sehyuk stares at the boy, his mouth falling open and posture stiffening. "Whose...blood is that?"

"My...f-father's."