The last of the five, only the +1.

This one deals directly with the last chapter, although it does take place years later.

Warning: Self Harm

~TH~

They called it Post Polio Syndrom. Steve didn't care what it was called. All he knew was that everything ached, he couldn't sleep, and he sometimes suddenly became angry. He'd always been small, but he was in his twenties. His muscle mass was getting smaller and smaller no matter what he did. 

He knew Bucky was doing his best. No, Bucky was doing everything. Literally, everything because Steve couldn't do a thing. Then why did Steve find himself yelling at him? 

Bucky would always shrug and tell Steve that he should try to get some sleep. Like he hadn't tried. Sleep alluded him on an almost nightly basis. He tried drawing to relax him, but his hands started shaking too bad to hold the pencil properly. Bucky didn't need to know that. It was best if he just stayed away. 

There wasn't much to do. There wasn't much he could do. Sometimes it hurt too bad for him to crawl out from under the worn out sheet they called a blanket. Other days, he found he couldn't even eat his throat hurt so bad. 

It had been years since he had polio. Over a decade. But still, the disease persisted to torment him. People told him how lucky he was. That it was a miracle he was still alive, that the paralysis had been temporary. It had never been full on paralysis. What it had been was painful. It was still painful. When people told him he was lucky, he struggled not to laugh in their faces and say it was a curse.

That's why, when Bucky was at work, he'd take out his razor blade and look. Then he would place it to his skin just enough to feel the sting, not enough to make a mark. 

The first time he does make a mark, Bucky comes home early. Bucky panics but doesn't take him to the hospital. That's jail time. He couldn't do that to Steve. 

Steve almost wishes he'd just let them take him. 

Bucky works with him to pull his mind away from his dark thoughts. It almost works too. Then Bucky is drafted. Steve has no reason to make sure there are no marks. 

~TH~

Once again, super short, but I feel like it accurately represents my point.

This actually wasn't my plan for this chapter, but after studying Polio, I felt there was no better way to end it. 

I hope you enjoyed it! 

Hope to have the +1 out within the week :)

God bless,
Jamie