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FERGAL

Despite waking up at the crack of dawn to work out for what seems my entire life now, I still hate mornings.

I hate going through the stages of shaking the morning weariness off.

Washing my face is useless as I still feel like absolute shit afterwards.

Changing into workout gear and realizing the shirt is inside out,

Zombie-Walking to the fridge to whine when I remember I'm adult now, which means I have to make my own damn food.

It's horrible.

And even after all of that, by the time I leave the door I usually still feel like I could use a whole other week of sleep.

However, today's not the same as yesterday.

My hand is on the door handle to leave for a quick jog when it hits me that today, I'm not alone.

I take a few steps back and softly chuckle as I watch Rebecca passed out on my couch, her figure curled up into fetus position as she blissfully sleeps.

Just when I reach over to cover her body with the throw blanket on the other sofa, she yawns and opens an eye.

"Why thank you Devitt."

She says, taking the blanket and wrapping herself up in it as she sits up and pulls her knees to her chest.

"You wanna go for a jog?" I stupidly ask.

Rebecca glances at me with a death glare before shaking her head "no."

"C'mon, I bet you're usually up + running  by this time." I say, nudging her stomach with my elbow.

"Fergal, I hate mornings." Rebecca scoffs as I softly chuckle. "Let's go on a small hike then. There's this nice trail just a mile away from here. Afterwards we could grab breakfast and may—

Rebecca cuts me off with a loud sigh as she scoots further away from me. "Fergal, no offense, but If these are my last days as a WWE employee ... I kinda just want to lie in bed all day and think about what the hell I'm going to do with my life."

A part of me wants to shake her up by the shoulders and tell her to stop being so damn dramatic, that she'd never get fired.

I wouldn't allow it.

I have no power in this company,
and I don't know how I'd stop her firing,

all I know is that over my dead body would I allow her to be fired.

But, as she turns away to wipe a tear from her cheek, I know just how frightened and paranoid she must be feeling.

With Vince already taking her Wrestlemania moment away, what's to say he won't just release her?

"Becky."

"Leave me alone."

"Bex."

"I mean it."

She sobs.

"Okay, that's it."

I say, closing the space between us as I reach over to hug her and hold her tight in my arms. "I just want to be alone, please let me sleep." She breathes out in between sobs.

"If you say so."

I whisper, lifting her off of the sofa and taking her to the guest room I told her to sleep in. "Why'd you sleep on the couch when I offered you a bed?" I quietly ask as she rests her head on my chest.

"The bed was so tidy and pristine I didn't want to undo it." She mumbles as I roll my eyes. "As if I couldn't have just re-done it up." I say as I open the door to the guest room in my apartment.

It was technically a small studio room, but living in Japan made me an expert at making the most out of tiny rooms.

So, with smartly placed furniture and other pieces that could double as a bed stand/desk, the tiny room served as a neat bed room.

When I lay her down she thanks me with a polite smile that lets me know she's silently appreciative. "You keep your place scary clean." Becky whispers as she looks around at the four walls, feeling like she's dirt in a room full of white.

"I did a lot of cleaning for others in the dojo." I say, recalling the days where I'd literally clean out bathrooms that large sumo wrestlers used just to be accepted as one and taught more during my"apprentice" days.

It was disgusting, but it taught me humility

After the humble pie, I was disciplined by being taken in as literal family member and taught more than I'd ever think could fit into my mind.

To say that my horizons were expanded would be an understatement, my entire perspective in life and wrestling were upgraded.

"You did so much in Japan." Becky says as she fumbles with her fingers, nervously glancing at anything but me.

"Why do you say it like that?"
"Like what?"
"With that tone."
"What tone?"

Becky snaps, clearing her throat and deeply exhaling as she realizes she's lost her cool. I watch as she takes in deep breathes to steady her composure, her eyes still avoiding me.

"Rebecca, what's wrong?"

I ask, my voice soft and filled with compassion as it genuinely kills me to see her that quiet and sulky. The last time I saw her that way, she never explained why and to this day, I still have dreams were I try piecing the puzzle together.

"I just wish you hadn't left to Japan."

She admits as I sigh.

To say that we've had this conversation more than a couple hundred times is not a lie. "I had to." I whisper as she sniffles. "You had to leave without a warning? Without even telling me?"

"Why do you always make it about yourself?"

"Because you weren't the idiot that woke up extra early that morning, that took extra time getting ready to look good just to find out that the idiot she was looking forward to see had flown half away around the world over night."

Rebecca says, her voice breaking into a gasp before she continues.

"I was your best friend and the only person who didn't know. Do you have any idea how stupid I felt when I had to be TOLD that you LEFT? I had to pretend like I knew and had forgotten, but deep down inside it killed me."

I breathe out and now look away from her, ashamed as I remember how low I stooped all those years ago.

Although it's been years, I still remember the phone call I got from Paul Tracey, my close friend whom also helped trained Rebecca. He flat out roasted me for leaving "THE girl" without telling her.

How could I do that?
Yet, how couldn't I?

She was perfect and I was madly in love with her, but I couldn't let her know because I couldn't grow attached and neither could she.

I couldn't be as nice as I wanted to be with her because I didn't want her falling in love with me because if she did fall for me, because if she ever even gave me one sign that she knew that I was in love with her,

I'd of have stayed and never made a name for myself at New Japan Pro Wrestling.

Her love would have made me stay,
and that would have changed everything.

For such a long time she was my every thought. During the long flight to Japan, she was all I could think about. The guilt, the remorse, it all built up for a whole month until I was finally allowed into a ring.

I used the loneliness, the guilt, the headache, the home sickness, the heartbreak, and all my emotions to produce such a great match that brought me my spot to have a chance and be exposed.

A change to break out.

I had Rebecca Quin to thank for that.
I worked harder than anyone so that when she'd see me on the television, she'd be proud.

I couldn't wait to see her again,
and the day I finally did,
she only had dead silence and icy glares to give me.

"I came back to tell you I was sorry, to explain things." I sigh.

"You came back on your birthday because you were feeling homesick. You didn't admit it, but I knew." Rebecca shrugs as I sit there amazed by how she always knows what's on my mind.

She could read through any disguise.

"Still, you wouldn't even talk to me."

I reply as she looks out the window. "How was I supposed to talk to you when you not only left me but also —

Rebecca stops, her eyes widening as she finally looks up at me. "But also what?" I say as she blinks and shakes her head.

"Nothing, forget it." She whispers as I frown.

"Just tell me."

"Trust me, it's better if you don't." Becky whispers.

Right when I'm about to pester the answer out of her, a loud banging on the door echoes into the room.

"You should get that."

Bex says, motioning towards the door as I stubbornly refuse to get up.

"Not until you tell me what you don't want to say."

I insist.

Rebecca glares at me with contempt before she gets up and brushes past me. "I'm coming!" She yells, her voice raspy and angry as she answers the door.

My eyebrows raise as I hear her voice, puffy and British as she catches her breath.

"I've"
"got"
'the"
"perfect idea"

Paige says, gasping for air to finish her statement.

"to"
"make vince"
"put you back"
"on the wrestle-
"mania card."

When I lurk in closer, my eyes lay on Becky's precious face that wears a smile as she pats Paige's back with motherly vibes.

"Paige, let's not. There's no chance in hell we're changing Vince's mind."

"Not with that attitude!"

The Brit protests.

Although she's childish at times, I do applaud her fighting spirit to help Becky better her unjust situation.

"Okay, fine. What's your big idea?"

Becky sighs as Paige holds a finger up to breathe in deeply before letting herself fall onto the couch. "Why are so out of breath?" Becky asks as she hands the Brit a glass of water that she chugs.

The Brit wipes some sweat off her forehead and explains how she & Owens lost a bet to Rollins and Cesaro and were therefore made to complete a CrossFit session with them.

"It was a total nightmare. They don't stop!"

She says as Becky chuckles.

"They're like freaky non-stopping working out machines and Kevin and I, fuck we were like rusty old gear that could use some WD-40.

At that, Becky laughs out loud as she sits next to Paige.

"So, the plan?"

"The plan? Oh right the plan!" Paige says, clapping her hands as she smirks at Becky. "I say we kidnap that out of touch old man and then put him on a harness and make him go flying through the crowd on one and then drop him like he purposely dropped Owen Har—

"Paige!"

Becky gasps as she smacks the goth's pale hand.

"That's insane!"
Rebecca adds as I shake my head.

"And it's only a rumor."

I say, stepping into the light from the darkness.

When Rebecca rolls her eyes at my presence, I shrug. "You don't think Vince had ANYTHING to do with it?"

The Anti-Diva asks.

"Nope."

I say, confident that it was all just a tragic event.

"Whatever, Kevin and I have our conspiracy theories."

She says non-chalantly before actually stating her real idea. When she finishes, I shake my head. "No way." I say.

"So if you wanna go through with it" Paige says as she holds Becky's hands, "We gotta go now and do this quickly." The Brit says as Becky nods.

When she heads out the door to get her car started, I watch as Rebecca heads into the restroom. When she comes out her hair is up, her face determined.

"You're not actually going to listen to her,are you?" I question, surprised as she pushes me aside.

"You don't get to tell me what to do." Becky hisses.

"You can't go."

I whisper, standing in front of the door as she growls. "Yes, yes I can. I'm leaving to go through with Paige's plan because I want to, and because I have to. I want my Wrestlemania moment, heck, I've worked hard for it. I deserve it and just like you didn't stay around to "waste" time in Ireland, I'm not saying around here to waste an opportunity I can re-capture."

Her words hit me like a million bricks.

"But —

"But nothing!"

She snaps.

"Rebecca."

I whisper.

"This time I'm the one leaving,

and you can stay."

She says before ducking under my arms and slipping out the door.

It's like it's 2006 all over again and I've just lost THE girl all over again because I couldn't stay.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES

what do you think paige's plan is?
+
there was a few hints at something that will later on be revealed in the story.

x o , v i o l e t.