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FERGAL

I watch her twirl some pasta alfredo noodles onto her fork, delicately eating like a baby bird. It's a precious sight to me, reminding me of her delicate nature. It's the one she keeps as a secret and only reveals when she's watching something remotely sad, like stray puppies on a street.

"This is so good. "

Rebecca says, a smile on my face as I mentally pat myself in the back for choosing a place with food I knew she'd like. "Try it with this." I offer, handing her a piece of bread that she gladly takes, her docile quirk still prominent as ever, as if she wore it on her sleeve 24/7 in permanent ink.

I try my hardest not to laugh when she scoops up more pasta onto her fork, enjoying it until her eyes flicker up with pleasure. The second Becky notices our waiter enthusiastically glancing at her, her cheeks grow rosy and she nervously drops her fork and stares at the plate for a few seconds before breathing out.

"It's so weird to make eye contact when you're eating. "

She whispers, glancing at me for relief. "Well, is it the eating and making eye contact or the fact that you're putting something into your mouth and making eye contact?" I ask, furthering on the torture she considers her cheeks that always flare up pink when embarrassed or in awkward, compromising situations.

" It's all weird. " She whispers, her eyes never leaving mine. "You make it weird. You're looking at me normally, eating and making eye contact with me and you don't look weirded out by it." I observe as she places a piece of the bread down on her plate.

"That's because I've known you forever, silly." She smiles.

"So?"

I question as she playfully rolls her eyes. "I know all about you Fergal, you dork." She chuckles as I give into laughter, thinking that if only she could read my mind, she'd realize just how dead wrong she is.

An annoyed sigh comes from Rebecca when she looks at her phone before slamming it down so aggressively that the delicate silver ware and china rattle.

"Sorry."

Rebecca mumbles, breathing out as to compose herself.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Work."

She responds, her eyes avoiding mine. I stare take a sip of my Guinness, my eyes never leaving hers as her hands start twitching when she glances at her iPhone. She's itching to call or text back whoever just made her angry.

I want to believe it really is work related, but as she mumbles "stupid", I know she's lying.

"You've always been a shit liar." I shoot, catching her off guard.

"Don't even pretend you don't know what I mean, you know exactly what I'm talking about." I sternly hiss as she sighs and surrenders to her lousy, phony act.

A short pause remains before she speaks up. "This guy" she begins as I swallow the lump in my throat.

Who is this guy
and who the fuck does he think he is to push her buttons the way he just did?

"Wants to go out on a date with me."

Rebecca proceeds as if testing out the waters.

"Okay."

I reply, already hating whoever this guy is. "And well, weeks before I said "yes", he made this huge deal out of it. I'd say no and he'd still go out of his way to win me over. Well, last night I finally agreed and now he's bailing on me."

Rebecca sighs and slumps in the chair as she flicks her eyes up at the ceiling as if to avoid crying. "I just thought he'd be different, but I guess not." She wails, picking the blood red silk napkin and gently patting a pesky tear away.

"He's an idiot."

I scoff, desperate to find out who this jackass is.

"No, not really. I mean, maybe an emergency came up. Gosh, he was just so excited when I said yes and his text, he really did want to make it for tomorrow, but he can't." She pouts.

"Why?"

"I don't know, but ugh. I just don't even know how to feel about it anymore. I'm overreacting." She sighs.

"Who's the idiot?" I ask.
"Stop calling him that."

Rebecca warns.

I raise a brow, and take another chug of my drink, well aware that it really is none of my business, but still.

"Rebecca, when's the last time you went on a date?" I ask as she coughs. "What does that have to do with this?" She chuckles.

"Stop stressing over that fool and go out with someone else." I argue as she breathes out. "Oh, like it's so easy to find someone who can understand my work schedule." She defends. "Some birdie told me everyone's lining up to date you outside the locker room." I chuckle as she rolls her eyes.

"Your little source is terribly inaccurate." Becky frowns. "What about Ambrose?" I wonder, hitting a nerve as her eyes widen. "W-what about him?" She stutters.

A-ha!

"Oh you know, people talk." I shrug. "Everybody talks ...what did ya hear?" She curiously asks as I smirk. "Last I heard, he was dying over you." I lie as she frowns. "Yeah well, if he ever stands me up again he'll have to die over me, because I won't give him another chance." She blurts out.

"So Dean?" I pry as she shuts her eyes and realizes she's just spilled the beans.

In the most adorable manner ever, she brings both her hands to her cheeks and sighs. "Don't be like my mother and disapprove." She whispers as I chuckle. "Your mother pretty much disapproves of everyone but me." I wink as she makes a fake puking noise.

"He's surprisingly sweet, and charming...in his own rugged kind of way. I dig it." Rebecca admits. "But he stood you up." I point out as she frowns. "Stop reminding me." She whimpers.

I let her chug her ice cold water down before pestering her lightly again. "So ... are you in love with him?" I question, playfully batting my eyelashes as her answer comes rather fast, surprising me.

"No."

She responds.

I raise my brows, baffled. What happened to the Rebecca that only went on dates out of pure love? "So what? You're looking for a quickie with Ambrose?"

"Fergal!"

Rebecca exclaims as her cheeks flare up pink.

"No ... I just, I want to get to know him better." She murmurs her eyes avoiding mine.

That prude.

"Most people who want to get to know one another befriend each other." I huff as she sighs. "It's more intimate than that." She grumbles.

"Intimate?" I question, frowning as she looks back into my eyes.

"I feel this connection with him that I don't feel with others." She shrugs. I roll my eyes and finish my drink, wondering what in the world could be so special about Ambrose.

"Well, I wish you luck." I lie.

Much to my surprise, something in Rebecca shifts as she keeps staring at the screen. "I want it to work, but truth is, I don't think it will." She whispers.

"What do you mean?" I ask, suddenly more alert and intrigued as I lean in closer to the table. Rebecca licks her lips before elaborating on her feelings. "He's very sweet to me, and I'm sure he can be more than that once we get to know each other better ... but I just don't think he'll be good enough." She admits.

"And why do you look so sad about that?" I question.

"Because I crave adventure. He's the type who'd rather stay indoors during the weekends. I want a lover who'll drag me out at the crack of dawn to explore something new. He likes desert and mountains ... I like the ocean and forests." Rebecca explains as I nod.

"Sounds like he's too soft for you." I whisper.

Once again, Rebecca's response leaves me with thoughts that take my mind to the gutter. "I like someone who can come at me harder, knock me off my feet and keep my breathless." She confesses.

"I know just what you mean." I say, filtering the unholy thoughts away as I pay for our food and easily take her hand to escort her out and into my car.

Rebecca pouts as we come to a stop at her hotel room. "So sad to be leaving me?" I joke as she undoes the car's belt. "So sad to be leaving this bag boy." Becky says, patting my Impala's dashboard.

I chuckle, not even bothered because if I were her, I'd never want to get off the car that the Winchester's popularized.

As she turns back to reach for her backpack in the back seat, I rush out my seat and open the car door for her. "Ugh, such a gentleman." She scoffs, playfully rolling her eyes.

"I can't help it." I shrug.

"You're seriously ruining my chances of ever finding a man." She says as I raise a brow. "Come again?" I cough.

"You're so polite, helpful, dorky and even funny. When am I ever going to find a man that can top that? That's the only way my mother will ever approve of anyone else besides you." Rebecca says, leaving me stunned.

It's not that I don't already know that she highly admires me, it's that there's a possibility that she'd consider me as a suitable partner.

When I take Rebecca's bag, she sighs. "But, I'll eventually find him." She says. "Well, if I end up alone and you're still single in five more years, I'd consider wifing you up." I say, smiling as she dips her head back with laughter.

"Wow. Fergal Devitt still single in five years? What are you doing to the ladies man? Scaring them off with your demonic entity?" Rebecca laughs as we walk through the parking lot for a bit, neither of us wanting to leave yet.

"They don't really want to get to know me, they just want a piece of me." I say, the sad truth that even she can't make fun of as she sighs.

"Well, your offer is compelling, but I can't accept it." She says, knocking the wind out of me as I try to remain calm.

Stay cool Finn, stay cool.

The two of us walk in silence, stopping in front of her hotel's entrance with it's golden spinning glass doors.

"You still hold it against me that I stood you up, huh?" I say, my voice coming off as playful even though on the inside something dark turns within me.

Every time I look at Rebecca I know that I want her.

When I think about her, things turn into a three way street.

There's the street that leads to a happy life with her. Where I'm loving, where I'm myself and she's happy.

The street next to it is the road that leads to my undisclosed desires. The me that if she knew about would probably scare her. I don't intend to hurt her, but I'd by lying if I said that the thoughts that go on in my head about her are delicate.

Sometimes they are, but for the most part, I want to ravish her.

Finally, there's the third road. Unfortunately, years ago I diverged and took the third street that led to me standing her up.

She was much younger, just eighteen. So hopeful, eager, and naive.

While I was the first man she admired, I was also the first fool, the first idiot to break her heart and badly introduce her into romance when I took a flight straight to Japan without ever so telling her prior to our flirting that had finally led to a date.

It was hard to get her to say yes because she was so oblivious to the fact that I wanted more than to hold her hand.

I was relentless and when she finally said yes, I took a one way ticket and had the greatest match of my life at that point when I could have had the best date of my life.

I chose the business over love.

Years later, it's still my biggest regret because it keeps me up late at night wondering about what could have been had I stayed a little longer, had I at least told her. I told everyone about my signing to NJPW except her.

When we finally spoke it was two weeks after I had left. She's so sweet she wasn't at all bothered, and truth is, I think that part of her was bothered, but that she was always so selfless that she understood that what I did was to better my career.

Still, I know she holds a tiny grudge over me.

It doesn't show when we're goofing off, but if I ever asked her out again, I know she'd turn me down for what I did all those years ago.

"Becca?"

"Ferg?"

"Make sure whoever you fall in love with can take your breath away. Love's supposed to be hot, sticky, messy." I say as she breaks into laughter. "You sure you're not talking about sex?" She laughs, leaving me speechless as she caught me and my inner thought that just had to escape from my tongue.

"Take care." I smile, Rebecca nodding and smiling at me before she clicks her heels and turns to leave.

I watch her go, finding myself softly laughing as she's the only person who can genuinely make me laugh at nearly anything.

While I hope for her to someday have a beautiful life, I also harshly wish she never finds anyone because I don't know how I'd manage to get by knowing that she's in the hands of someone else that isn't me.

I think I'd drive me mad.

Permanently.

It's a bad mindset, but everything in my being tells me that for Rebecca, no one will ever be good enough.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES

so if this chapter felt like there was any sexual tension

.. just know that I won't be going all 50 shades of grey on ya'll because I thought about it and just no. Bex in my eyes is just too pure for the garbage my mind can think of and also, i tried and i couldn't stop laughing lol.

lots of verbal sexual tension and uhm hints and references but none of it explicitly narrated

xD

v i o l e t .