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FERGAL

I've never liked my hands.

They've always been calloused from brutal sweat sessions in the gym, the metal of the bars tearing my skin apart in order for muscle to grow.

It's a grueling cycle that has it's downside, like having hands that aren't soft.

"Hard working hands." My father would say whenever he'd find me self consciously picking at them. Personally, I didn't mind the feeling of my hands, but whenever I wanted to touch her I'd be so ashamed of their texture.

I wanted to be gentle.

I didn't want the feeling of my hands to be abrasive.

Yet, the second she came stumbling into my door I couldn't refrain from keeping my hands off of her. I stopped caring so much about my sand paper hands on her delicate marble skin. I only wanted to comfort her as she sat on the corner of my bed and cried.

"Rebecca what's wrong?"
"Are you hurt?"
"Did someone hurt you?"

I ask as she holds her arm wrapped around her jacket. When I try pulling at it she whimpers and I stop. "Becca, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." I say, losing my patience as I can't stand to see her in pain.

Without putting up a fight, she allows me to take the jacket off of her hand. "W-what happened?" I say as I see her hand bloodied up and cut with shards of glass covering a portion of her flesh.

"I accidentally fell with a bottle of glass on my hand." Becky whimpers. Before I can stupidly ask what kind of glass bottle, I get a whiff of alcohol from her shirt. I breathe out and decide to lecture her later as I grab her other good hand and pull her up.

"And your shoe? What happened to your shoe?"

"I lost my shoe."

Rebecca quietly mumbles. I shake my head and lead her to my bathroom where she leans her head against my chest and sniffles as I rinse her punctured hand.

"Becca?"
"Hm?"

"Why'd you get this way?" I ask, making conversation only to distract her as I pull a few shards away with a pair of tweezers. "Because I'm stupid." She mutters.

I pick the last shard out and let it fall down the drain as I rinse her hand once more before shutting of the water and placing both my hands on her shoulders to steady her.

"You're not stupid."

I say, looking her straight in the eye as she exhales. "Then why'd I do this?" She asks. "I don't know. That's what I'm trying to figure out." I say.

Like a new born deer, she stumbles all over the place before she finally crashes down onto the ground. She begins to cry again, except this time her sobbing is so intense she gasps for air and lightly trembles.

"Charlotte's bred for the WWE. No matter what wrong she does, it'll always be shrugged off cause she's Ric's daughter." Becky cries.

As comfort, I take a seat besides. With our backs leaning against the bed, I gently squeeze her knee for reassurance.

Comfortable reassurance that speaks volumes.

I want to know if she still knows, if she still feels that with me, she can say anything.

"And Sasha, oh Sasha I really do love her but she's dynamite. She is THE spark of this division, she is what is going to lead us to an actual CHANGE." Becca sniffles and she back combs her hair and keeps her arms on the sides of her neck.

Becky deeply exhales a couple times before finally speaking up again. "Then there's me. I'll never be good enough." She quietly whispers as if talking to herself.

Despite her bubbly personality, I know that Becca's more than quite prone to falling into bad habits and a negative mindset. Over the years we've known each other, I've seen her be self destructive and give into depressive cycles too often.

Every time she's fallen into a black hole she's bounced back up again, but every time it happens I feel like I can't breathe properly because one day she might not exist anymore.

She's never attempted it, but it's always a side effect of depression.

"A fly generates more buzz than Charlotte." I say, smiling as I manage to get her to laugh.

With a small sigh, she turns to face me with a smile on her face. With her hazel eyes on mine, I can't control my impulses when my hand just naturally cups her cheek.

My thumb caresses her cheek before words come back into my mind. "Dynamite can't spark up without fire, and without fire there's darkness." I say.

"This division's damned if we do and damned if we don't."

Becky sighs.

When I laugh, Rebecca tilts her head left. "What's so funny?" She asks.

"Don't you get it? You're the fire Rebecca!" I say, throwing my hands up for exagerration as her eyes widen.

"You're going to light a fire and trail blaze to the top because you don't need anyone handing you a damn torch. Rebecca, you're more than enough. You're a

r u l e b r e a k e r ,
r i s k t a k e r ,
g a m e c h a n g e r,
p a s s i o n a t e ,
&
1 0 0 % s t r a i g h t
f i r e ."

My eyes linger on hers until I shiver when her head leans in closer to mine. I swallow the lump on my throat as I start feeling like the nerd from high school who's about to get kissed by beautiful girl everyone wants.

When Rebecca leans her head against my shoulder, I breathe out relieved. Had she kissed me, I don't know if I'd of have the restraint to keep my hands from ripping her shirt off.

"You really think all of that of little o' becky?" She asks. "I've never thought anything less of you." I respond.

"You weren't always this kind to me."
"Whatdaya mean?"
"I had never heard you say something that nice about me."
"That's impossible."
"Actually, I had never even heard you speak about me."

I want to tell her she's delusional, but instead I just keep quiet because she's right. I've never spoken of her highly not because I don't believe in her, but because I was always terrified that my stupid crush would show.

I didn't want to scare her away, so my silence sometimes came off as me being her harshest critic when in reality, I was the furthest thing from it.

I was, and always will be her biggest supporter.

"Fergal?"
"Rebecca?"

"Thank you." She smiles, gently kissing my cheek and sending all sorts of shock waves down my spine.

I exhale and smile, my hand on top of hers.

"You think Vince will change his mind?"
"I hope so, otherwise I'll burn him at stake."

I chuckle as she gasps.

"Death by fire!"

I say, making her laugh harder as she shakes her head with playful disapproval.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES

so i might have taken a shit ton of inspiration from becky's twitter bio ...
can i be blamed?
probably.
but it's amazing.
next chapter will be focusing on revenge/justice. will becky strike back at vince or will finn?
(or will there be a plot twist)
let me know what you want to see most!

p.s. over the past 48 hrs i've recieved messages from past followers/ people here on watty that I once had a down fall with. those 48 hours have been pretty neat because it's been sweet to see a change of heart in people. i love you all and hope you're doing good.
change is always possible.

x o , v i o l e t .