Lilith's eyes snapped open as she sat up in the reclining chair, bringing a hand up to her chest as she gasped for air. Her limbs were shaking as she did her best to catch her breath, her gaze moving around the room to confirm that she was indeed back at the office where Moira had given her the strange substance. She found Moira's reflection in the mirror ahead of her, the woman looking down at her with concern, and the simple vision of the grey cladded female was enough to make her relax and lean back against the chair.

"You're a lively one," Moira mused, a smile painted on her lips as she carefully removed the electrodes from the brunette's sweaty forehead.

The girl's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she watched the woman retreating closer to the machine, her chest still heaving up and down as she attempted to catch her breath. Licking her lips, she finally adressed Moira, "Is that good or bad?"

There was a pause, before the brown haired female spoke once more, "Good, if you're actually planning on making your choice based on these results," her eyes went back to the machine, and Lilith closed her eyes for a few brief seconds. 

The white light just above her was starting to make her head hurt, and she wanted nothing more than to be out of the office. Memories from what she had seen during the test surfaced, and Lilith furrowed her eyebrows once more. Everything she had done had been instinctive. She hadn't stopped to think about other solutions or about the consequences her actions could have. And that was something that deeply worried her. 

"Your results are..." Moira paused, making Lilith look at her expectantly. Her heart hammered against her ribcage as she waited for the woman's next words, and the fact that she was taking so long to reveal what faction she belonged to was starting to piss her off. Moira smiled as she faced the teenager once more, "Dauntless," she announced. Before she could hold it back, a grin took over the girl's lips, and she exhaled loudly as she leaned her head back against the chair. She had been right. She had been able to figure out where she belonged. Moira was telling her something about how it wasn't unusual for Candor teenagers to get Dauntless as a result, and vice versa, but Lilith was way too ecstatic to actually pay attention to the information dump.

"Wow," she breathed out, and Moira cut off her speech, looking down at her in amusement. 

"Is that good or bad?" the woman raised an eyebrow, making Lilith chuckle.

"Good."

"Well," Moira got up from her seat, dusting off her hands against her grey dress. Lilith followed her example and raised herself from the reclining chair, though her legs were still shaking. The anxiety that had settled in the pit of her stomach when she had entered the room was now gone, replaced by excitement and adrenaline. The two females walked together to the door, and Moira was quick in opening it for her, a bright grin adorning her freckled face, "Choose wisely, Lilith."

Nodding her head, Lilith returned the grin, "I will."

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Everyone had been dismissed near the middle of the afternoon, when all the tests had been finished. The atmosphere was slightly different than it had been, on that very morning: while some of the students looked relieved, and even happy, others looked like they had been given the worst news of their lives. Lilith assumed that, for some, that had been the case. 

Reyna and Christina had been mostly silent after their respective tests, and during their walk to the bus. It wasn't that usual for them to catch it; usually, they'd just walk, on the occasions that none of their parents showed up to drive them back to their section of town. However, they'd agreed on the former week that they'd spend this particular afternoon together, at Reyna's house, for it could be their last as a trio. As much as she tried not to dwell on it, Lilith's heart ached at the thought of possibly losing both of her best friends.

It didn't take the bus too long to arrive to Reyna's neighbourhood, where the three girls exited, along with a group of other teens wearing black and white. It was uncharacteristic for a group of Candors to be so quiet, or even be so deep in thought, but they were about to be faced with a decision that would change the rest of their lives. Not even the famed loudmouths were immune to the weight of the situation. 

Lilith's fingers gripped the strap of her bag tightly as they made their way to Reyna's home, just another suburban looking residence in the middle of so many others on the Candor sector. It was one of the houses with a garden that was always tended to, with bright green grass and pink and purple flowers surrounding the path to the front door. The girl fondly remembered when they used to spend whole afternoons taking care of the plants with Reyna's mother, Melinda. It had been shortly after Lilith's mother had finally returned to actually care for her children, and the girl didn't have to spend every waking moment looking out for Scott.

The house was silent when they entered, seeing as it was still early and neither of Reyna's parents had left work yet. Reyna released a sigh as she dropped her keys on the table next to the front door, while Christina followed Lilith into the living room, where they both sunk down on the white couch. Lilith furrowed her eyebrows as she watched Christina chew down on her lower lip, her eyes fixated on the wall ahead of them. Another sigh left Reyna's lips as she walked into the kitchen, and the brunette noticed that each step she took looked like it took an immense ammount of effort.

"You guys are weirdly quiet today," she finally broke the silence, raising an eyebrow when Christina looked at her.

"Are we?" the dark skinned girl responded, straightening her position on the couch. At Lilith's nod, she took a deep breath, "I think I just realized the full weight of this, you know."

"Yeah," Reyna agreed, stepping into the living room with three glasses of orange juice in her hand. She handed two of them to her friends, before settling into her favorite armchair. Her lips twisted in a grimace before she gulped down some of her drink, "I thought the worst part was before the test, when we had no idea of what actually expected us. But, now that we took it, it's being so much worse."

Christina nodded her head, "I know what I have to do, or rather, what I should do," she paused, "But I didn't expect it to be this hard."

"You do know that the choice is still yours, right?" Lilith spoke up, after a few seconds of silence, "The test is important, yeah, but nowhere does it say that we have to choose the faction it said we should. We still have the freewill to make that decision ourselves, the test is just there to guide us, in case we need it. If the results didn't satisfy you, I say fuck the test, make your own choice. It's your life and, as far as I know, you only have one."

"What if your results were something that you weren't expecting?" Reyna questioned, leaning forwards in her seat.

"Do they make sense to you?" 

It took the blonde a few seconds to answer, but she eventually gave both of her friends a nod, "I guess they do," she said, putting a strand of her light hair behind her ear, "I just... hadn't thought of them as a possibility."

"If they make sense, you should go for it," Christina mumbled.

Silence settled in the room once more, the three girls thinking of their own test results and the choice that they'd have to make, the following day. Lilith didn't believe that any of her friends would transfer to Dauntless along with her, but that they'd instead remain in Candor, where they often showed signs that they were exactly where they belonged. They weren't like her, with an extensive record of lies and disonesty. Ever since she had met them, Reyna and Christina were what she often wished she was: Candor, through and through. But she'd never been like that, and Lilith had accepted it a long time ago.

"I love you guys," Reyna whispered, after a few minutes.

Just like that, the three girls rose from their seats and met in the middle of the living room to give eachother what could very well be their last embrace. As Lilith inhaled the sweet scent of Christina's shampoo and felt Reyna's grip tighten around her, she closed her eyes. If there was something she would definitely never forget, it would be how the two girls had given her so much happiness through the years, and she'd never be able to thank them enough.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Dinner had been quiet. Usually, the only one to remain silent was Lilith, only interviening when her brother brought her into the conversation or said something that she had a strong opinion about. That night, Scott had tried his best to start a discussion about Erudite's most recent attack on Abnegation, but when it became clear that neither Lilith or Adelia wanted to talk, he had given up and finished his meal in silence.

Lilith believed that, deep down, Adelia knew that she would follow her older sister's example and pick a different faction. Hortense had always appeared to be the typical Candor, and it had been a surprise to the whole family when, five years before, she'd made the switch to Amity. The girl knew that she'd never seemed as much of a Candor as her older sibling, and that made her wonder if her mother knew what would happen on the following day.

The door to her bedroom opened just as the brunette finished lacing up her sneakers, making her look up as Scott entered the room. His chin quivered for a second, but the young boy took a deep breath as he closed the door behind him, making it so that the only sources of lighting in the room were the moon and the lamp on Lilith's bedside table. Both siblings were quiet as she rose from her bed, quickly tying her hair up in a ponytail. Once again, her decision weighted her down.

"What were your test results?" the boy asked, after a few seconds.

Lilith took a deep breath, still not facing Scott as she shook her head, "I can't tell you that."

There were a few moments of silence, before he spoke again, "Were they what you wanted?"

Scott had known what Lilith's dream faction was for around two years, ever since he had barged into her room unannounced, and found her in athletic gear, with one foot dangling from her window, her eyes wide at the thought of possibly being caught by Adelia. She'd never told him why she had the habit of sneaking out of the house after dinner for a run, but he wasn't stupid, and he had put two and two together after a week. At first, it wasn't something he understood: he hadn't yet fully registered why Hortense had deserted him and he was now faced with the fact that Lilith had the same idea. She remembered the heartbreak in his eyes vividly, and that was precisely why she refused to look at him now.

"Yeah," she nodded her head, "They were."

All she heard was shuffling before Scott's skinny arms were wrapped around her, his head pressed into her side. The sudden movement almost made her fall over, but Lilith quickly regained her balance and returned the hug. It was difficult, leaving someone who she had felt responsable for during the most of her life. It stung, and even if she knew that their mother would take care of him, and that Scott's father would be in the picture a lot more when she left, she still felt guilty. Blinking back tears, she savoured what would probably be their last moment.

"I'm going to start training," he announced, after a while, "I'm going to train every single day, like you, and I'm gonna choose Dauntless too, when it's my turn."

"Hey," the girl pulled away from the hug, keeping her hands on her brother's shoulders as she finally looked into his tear filled eyes, "You don't need to make that decision right now. You still have a few years to figure out who you are," she paused, furrowing her eyebrows, "And I don't want you to feel like you have to come after me. You're your own person, Scott."

"But you're my family."

The sentence Faction before blood echoed in Lilith's mind, and it brought a sick feeling to her stomach. She wondered if everyone had such a hard time accepting it, when they had to make their choice. The Choosing Ceremony was something she had looked forward to for years but, now that it was so close, the reality of everything she'd have to give up on was starting to close in on her. Not enough to make her doubt her decision, but still enough to make her feel dreadful.

"You're my family too," she gave him a small smile, "Remember what Hortense told us, the night before she left?" Scott furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. He had been far too young when their older sister had made her choice, and that time period was usually somewhat cloudy for him. Lilith brought her hand up to the spot over her heart, and proclaimed the words that had been spoken by Hortense, five years before, "No matter what happens tomorrow, you'll always be right here."

"Do you promise?" Scott's chin wobbled, once more.

"I promise."

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Okay so there have been many versions of this chapter throughout the previous drafts of Bullets but this one is definitely my favorite! Not only do we manage to get a better insight into what Lilith is feeling, but we also explore her relationships in Candor previous to the Choosing Ceremony, which is something the old versions lack. I'm also lowkey a slut for the trio that is Christina, Reyna and Lilith yeet
Anyways, hope you enjoyed reading! Please let me know what you thought, and I'll see you in a week in the next chapter!