xiv. the return of john murphy
i am become death

UNEASE FILLED the entirety of camp the moment word spread about the failed attempt at peace with the Grounders. Everyone worried about retaliation. When and how the Grounders would strike. Would they storm the camp with their swords and spears, or send a volley of arrows out of the trees? No one knew. All they could do was prepare and wait for the inevitable, hoping that they would somehow survive.

On top of the impending Grounder treat, the Exodus ship that contained the first wave of people escaping the failing Ark crashed into the ground. None of the passengers were expected to survive. Among them being Abby Griffin, Clarke's mother.

Sawyer could empathize the pain Clarke experienced when she watched the Exodus ship explode upon impact. She knew what it was like to lose a parent. Her father died before she reached her teenage years, while her mother lost herself in illegal moonshine and might as well be dead. The pain never went away, and Sawyer knew that Clarke knew that. She did watch her father get floated a year earlier.

Come sunrise, Clarke set out with Bellamy and a small group to inspect the Exodus ship wreckage. She wanted to know what happened and why the parachute did not deploy. She wanted to know why her mother died.

Sawyer made the decision to stay behind and oversee camp until they returned. With an attack from the Grounders on the horizon, at least one leader needed to watch over the rest of the delinquents. One spark of anxiety and pure anarchy would ensue.

More than a dozen of them were crowded around the walls in anticipation for the others arrival. Many with guns in their hands. Sawyer did not like the situation. In fact, she tried to get some to relinquish the weapons, considering they were all on edge and were not trained well enough, but they refused. Sawyer would have reprimanded them for it, if they were not on the verge of war. So, she overlooked it. Just until Clarke and Bellamy returned. She hoped she did not come to regret it.

Sawyer sat on one of the wooden platforms against the camp wall, keeping an eye on those who wanted to remain on watch for potential Grounder attacks and for the others to get back. The last thing she needed was for someone to become careless and discharge a weapon, or even fire at the returning group. She rested on her hands, glancing over the camp as lit torches illuminated gave off a warm glow.

"It's still quiet out there," Monty voiced as he moved to sit next to the Wesley girl.

Sawyer nodded toward him. "Good," she stated and shifted her stare across the delinquents. A group of them were crowded around a fire, chatting loud enough for her to hear from almost a dozen feet away. All of their eyes were on Jasper as he recounted what happened at the meeting with the Grounders. "Looks like your boy's popular."

Monty grinned. "Yeah." He turned to her and said, "and thanks for giving us a bigger tent."

Sawyer shrugged, leaning up to rest her arms on her thighs. "Some of the others wanted to swap tents. We had one open. Besides, there are too many people shoved into them. We all need a little breathing room."

Before either of them could say more, Octavia strode up to them.

"Hey. No sign of your brother, or the others, yet," Monty told the youngest Blake when she got close enough.

Octavia moved toward the platform, pushing herself up to look beyond the wall. "Hey, I don't care."

Sawyer looked over her shoulder to follow the girl's line of sight. She found nothing but darkened trees until her eyes landed on a white flower placed in the bend of a split trunk. She turned back to Octavia, finding what appeared to be a relieved expression on her face. Sawyer wondered what that was about.

"Jasper, tell us again. How'd you stay so calm? I would've been terrified."

Sawyer heard Harper voice from where she stood across from Jasper at the fire. She lost count of how many times she listened to the same retelling of the event. It would have gotten on her nerves any other time, but she let it go. No need to ruin the only thing that kept their minds off what went on around them.

"Fear is only a problem, if you let it stop you, right?" Jasper countered with a smile.

Octavia whirled when the statement registered. "That's not even his line. Finn said that."

Sawyer sighed. "I know."

"I saw the Grounders in the trees," Jasper continued. "It was like nothing I ever felt. You know, pure animal instinct took over. One pull of the trigger – two Grounders dead."

Sawyer's stomach tightened at his words. She did not know like how he boasted about killing people, even if they were Grounders. It began to worry her. They were not killers, and they were certainly not supposed to enjoy the death of others.

Not to mention Jasper lied about his own behavior. He got lucky with the Grounders. Nothing more, nothing less.

Octavia's brows scrunched. "'Pure animal instinct'? More like pure pants-wetting panic."

Sawyer snorted. "Ain't that the truth."

"You don't really know what you're made of until a moment like that," Jasper went on. "You know, when it's kill or be killed, and there's just nothing between you and the tip of the spear."

Octavia shook her head. "Okay. This has to stop." She went to confront the boy, but Monty reached out and stopped her.

"Come on," Monty said as the girl halted in her movements, "let us have this."

Octavia blinked toward him. "Us?"

"Look at him." Monty gestured in Jasper's direction, who reveled in the attention he got. "The boy is a folk hero. Sawyer even gave us a bigger tent."

Octavia snapped to where the Wesley girl remained on the platform. "Seriously? You're okay with this?" she questioned with her eyes narrowed.

Sawyer shrugged, again. "It's not like it's hurting anyone. Although, if he keeps talking about murder like it's an accomplishment, I'm gonna slap him."

Monty gave her a blank look and nodded. "I'll make sure he knows that."

In that moment, the sound of clattering metal ripped through the air from beyond the walls. One of the many tripwires that were placed days prior. Sawyer pushed up from her spot and moved across the platform to where the tripwire sat a dozen or so yards away from camp. She could not see much through the darkness, except for the vegetation that obstructed a clear view.

"Somebody hit the tripwire!" Connor called out from where he stood near the wall with the rifle in his hands.

"Which wire?" one of the delinquents asked as they all began to swarm the wall were the sound originated.

"Was it a Grounder?"

"I don't see anything."

"Are you sure it was the tripwire?"

Sawyer looked to the others and voiced, "it was a tripwire." A wave of chatter passed over them. "Everyone calm down." She turned back to the boys on guard. "Anything?"

Derek shook his head. "I got nothing. Connor?"

Connor did the same. "Nothing."

"Something moved," another boy exclaimed.

Sawyer peered into the surrounding forest for whatever, or whoever, hit the wire. She realized that it could not have been Clarke, Bellamy, or the rest of the group that left to inspect the Exodus ship crash. They knew where the tripwires were located. It had to be either a Grounder, or an animal of some kind.

"There, there, there!" Derek shouted, before a round of bullets exited his gun.

"Whoa, whoa!" Sawyer rushed over to the boy with her arms raised. "Hold your fire! Hold your fire!" Derek removed his finger from the trigger and looked at her in a questionable manner. "You have no idea what the hell is out there."

"It could be a Grounder," Derek argued.

"Or, it could be one of our people," Sawyer snapped in return. "You do not shoot unless you can clearly see what you're shooting at. Got it?" She shifted her attention to the other boys and girls on guard. "Got it?"

None of them answered, but none of them objected.

Sawyer nodded. "Good. Now, let's go check it out. Derek and Connor – with me. Everyone else, stay here and stay alert." She stepped toward the edge and climbed down the side of the platform. Her boots hit the ground and propelled her toward the closest gate.

Octavia fell into step at her side. Sawyer should have sent her back, but she decided to let her tagalong. Both girls headed out before the two boys, heading for where the shots were fired. Sawyer kept her eyes peeled, searching for anything that could have hit the tripwire.

"Sawyer, Octavia, be careful," Connor said from behind them.

Sawyer ignored the boy and proceeded forward. She stepped over tree roots, making sure she did not trip as she descended down a small hill to where she would find the triggered tripwire. Her stare fell to something on the ground, something large and human like. Sawyer brought herself to a stop when she saw the curled up body laid on the ground.

"Stop," Sawyer told the others as she held out an arm.

Derek and Connor listened to her command and came to halt. Octavia, on the other hand, stepped closer to the body.

"Octavia, wait," Sawyer voiced, but it fell on deaf ears.

Octavia dismissed the Wesley girl's warning and crouched, holding out an arm toward the person. Her fingers just came into contact with their shoulder, before they rocketed up from the ground and shuffled away from them.

Sawyer jumped back, keeping her arm up and in front of Derek and Connor so they did not shoot. She stared at the person as they stopped not far from them. Their clothes were torn and covered in thick layers of dirt and blood. A lot of blood. Their arm was raised in a motion for them not to come any closer, while every inch of their body shook.

"Oh, my God," Connor exclaimed.

"No way," Derek breathed.

Sawyer's eyes widened when the person looked up, causing their shaggy, matted hair to fall away from their face. Despite the bleeding gashes and swollen eyes, she could recognize them almost instantly. "John?"

John Murphy lifted his head, ever so slowly, and met her pointed stare. "Sawyer?"

_______

By the time Clarke and Bellamy returned from the Exodus ship crash site, Sawyer paced the length of the lowest dropship level fifty times. She did not know what to do next. Not with John Murphy sat in a ball against one of the four walls.

If she were honest, Sawyer did not think she would ever see the boy again. After she banished him and left him alone in the middle of the forest, she figured Murphy would be dead by the next day. Of course, she hoped otherwise, but she had to be a realist. Earth was not a safe place. There were murderous Grounders, vicious animals, and random clouds of acid fog.

How could she know Murphy would be able to survive all of that, including horrendous torture?

Sawyer paused in her motions when someone shoved the parachute aside and entered the dropship. She turned to see Bellamy Blake storm forward with a rifle in his hands. Clarke and Finn were hot on his trail.

"Where is he?" Bellamy all but shouted, scanning the level for Murphy. When he spotted him, his expression hardened and his grip on the gun tightened.

"He claims he was with the Grounders," Derek said, before anyone even asked.

"We caught him trying to sneak back into camp," Connor added from where he and Derek stood near Murphy, holding their guns in front of them.

"I wasn't sneaking," Murphy croaked out between coughs. "I was running from the Grounders."

Bellamy pressed his lips together and glanced around at the few people in the dropship. "Anyone see Grounders?"

Sawyer thought there did not need to be a lot of bodies inside, especially around Murphy. She shook her head when his stare stayed on her. "No, but..."

"Well, in that case," Bellamy cut her off and lifted his gun to aim the barrel at Murphy.

Sawyer's eyes widened as she rushed to move between them. "Stop! You're not killing him."

Bellamy looked at her in shock, but he did not lower his weapon. "We were clear what would happen if he came back."

"No, I was clear, and now, I'm saying back off," Sawyer stated.

Finn appeared at her side and supplied, "if he was with the Grounders, then he knows things that can help us."

Bellamy scoffed. "Help us? We hanged him. We banished him, and now, we're gonna kill him." Neither Sawyer or Finn moved. "Get the hell out of my way."

Sawyer held her ground and stepped forward to where the gun's barrel almost touched her chest. "You're not killing him," she stressed with each word.

Bellamy opened his mouth to reply, but Clarke beat him to it as she went to Murphy's side.

"Finn and Sawyer are right," Clarke said and crouched at the injured boy.

Bellamy gaped toward the blonde, lowering his rifle to hold near his stomach. "Like hell, they are. Clarke, think about Charlotte."

Sawyer rolled her eyes. "Oh, my God. Charlotte's death was not just his fault. It was all of our faults. And frankly, she murdered Wells. It's not like she was some innocent child."

"Sawyer's right," Clarke voiced as she grabbed Murphy's hand to examine his various wounds. "What happened to Charlotte was a much our fault as his." She paused in her actions and glanced back at the others. "He's not lying. His fingernails were torn off. They tortured him."

Sawyer's stomach clenched, despite the fact that she already heard about Murphy's experience from him.

Finn huffed and looked to the eldest Blake. "You and the Grounders should compare notes."

Bellamy gave him a blank stare. "The Grounders know we're at war." He shifted his attention back to where Murphy remained huddled on the floor. "What did you tell them about us?"

Murphy raised his head, glancing between them through swollen eyes. He stayed silent for a moment, before he said, "everything."

Sawyer released a long and heavy sigh. Of course he did. Granted, if she were being torture, she would most likely say anything to get them to stop.

Clarke pulled away from Murphy and stood to her feet. She set her gaze on Sawyer and stated, "once he's better, we find out what he knows, and then he's out of here, okay?"

Sawyer contemplated her statement. She knew that Clarke and Bellamy were right. There was a reason she banished Murphy, in the first place. He went rogue and tried to kill a thirteen year old girl. Charlotte might not have been a saint, by any means, but Murphy's actions were not right. He attacked Sawyer and Bellamy, terrorized others around camp, and did not feel remorseful about any of it.

They could not let Murphy stay. No matter the past he and Sawyer shared.

Sawyer glanced toward Murphy and nodded. "Yeah. Once he's better, he's out."

"What if he refuses to leave?" Bellamy questioned, capturing both girls' stares. "What do we do with him then?"

"He'll leave," Sawyer told him and started to leave the dropship. "I'll make sure of it."

_______

The cool breeze brushed against Sawyer's arms as she walked through the heart of camp. Once she left the dropship, it felt as though heat began to roll off her skin in waves. She stripped her jacket from her shoulders, along with the top of her jumpsuit, and tied them around her waist. The early winter air helped ease her discomfort, but she did not feel any better. She began to think she started to come down with a cold, or something of that nature.

When footsteps sounded behind her, Sawyer turned to find Clarke headed in her direction. "Shouldn't you be tending to John's wounds so we can kick him out?" she quipped as the blonde fell into step at her side.

Clarke sighed. "I know you have a history with Murphy, but..."

"...but he's a menace to society," Sawyer cut her off. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

Clarke pressed her lips together, before her attention fell to the girl's exposed arms. "Aren't you cold? It's freezing out here."

Sawyer shook her head. "No. I'm strangely hot. I think I'm coming down with something."

Clarke's brows furrowed and reached out to feel her forehead. She hummed after a few second, dropping her hand back to swing at her hip. "You do feel warm. Maybe it's just a cold."

"I hope so," Sawyer said as she pushed aside the flap of the communication's tent, where they set up the radio and screens to speak with the Ark. She wanted to check and see if the signal returned. It had been out since Unity Day.

Sawyer stepped inside, scanning the tables filled with random pieces of technology Raven salvaged from Finn's bunker and the dropship, before her gaze fell on the Reyes girl sat in one of the chairs. "Hey."

Raven looked away from the radio sat in front of her with a headset on her ears. "Hey."

Clarke paused when she noticed her. "Oh. Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here."

Sawyer glanced toward the blonde with a quirked brow. She and Raven were still at odds, it seemed.

Raven shifted her attention from the radio, squinting toward the two girls. "You guys okay?"

Sawyer blinked. "Yeah. Fine. Anything from the Ark, yet?"

Raven released a long breath, turning one of the dials on the radio. "Still nothing. It's like they shut it down from their side. It could be solar flares blocking the signal."

"But, you don't think so," Clarke supplied.

Raven shook her head. "I got a bad feeling."

"There's a lot of that going around." Clarke made a move to leave the tent, but Raven stopped her.

"Clarke, wait." Raven pulled the headset from her ears, setting them on the table, before she stood from her seat. Clarke stopped and faced her. "I'm sorry about your mom."

Sawyer almost smiled at their interaction. At least they were not screaming at each other or giving one another side-eyes.

Clarke gave Raven tight grin.

None of the girls got the chance to say more as a red liquid began to slip out of Clarke's eyes. Blood.

Sawyer gaped at the sight. "Oh, Clarke."

"Clarke, your eyes," Raven exclaimed.

Clarke's brows creased, raising a hand to her face. She touched her cheek and pulled back to see the blood on her fingers.

"Clarke! Where's Clarke?" someone shouted from outside.

Clarke turned on her heel and exited the tent, while Sawyer and Raven were right behind her. They rounded the parachute composed structure to find Connor stumble through camp, holding a hand to his stomach and coughed.

"Clarke," Connor called out when he saw the Griffin girl.

"Connor?" Clarke asked as she stepped toward him.

Sawyer, on the other hand, stopped a few feet from the boy. Blood encircled Connor's mouth, dripping down his chin to the ground. He looked awful.

"It won't stop," Connor groaned and then coughed, expelling more blood onto his lips.

"What the hell is going on?" Sawyer questioned. Between Connor and Clarke, she did not know what was going on.

"Clarke," Raven voiced, holding out a strip of cloth toward the blonde. "What's happening?"

Clarke took the cloth and tried to hand it to Connor, but she paused when loud coughs sounded across the camp.

Sawyer turned to see Derek sat with a group by a small fire. He doubled over at the waist, coughing hard enough to rack his body. Someone stood next to him and asked if he was alright, but he did not seem to catch his breath.

"Raven, get away from us," Clarke told the Reyes girl.

Raven paused. "What?"

Clarke looked from Derek to Connor and settled on Sawyer. "They're the ones who brought Murphy in."

Sawyer's heart lurched in her chest. Her hot flashes, Clarke's bleeding eyes, Connor and Derek coughing up blood. Murphy brought some kind of illness into camp.

Sawyer clicked her tongue as she sighed. "Fuck."

<January 2, 2020>

Guys, I'm really missing the early seasons of The 100. Like, a lot.

Don't forget to vote and comment.

-Jordan

P.S. Unedited chapter.