"Please tell me you're kidding." he said, looking at the road. I swallowed the lump in my throat before looking at his direction. His hands gripping tight on the steering wheel. 

I slowly shake my head, "I'm not, I have decided, that's the place I can go and raise my child." I replied, I jolted up when he aggressively press the horn of the car as a motorcycle came out of nowhere. 

"Dahan-dahan..." bulong ko bago inilagay ang kamay ko sa aking tiyan. 

He let out a bitter chuckle, "Anong gagawin mo doon? Paano ka mabubuhay doon? Saan ka titira? Paano ang pagkain mo? Paano mo mapapalaki ng maayos ang bata?!" he raised his voice and I felt my throat tighten as tears starts forming on my eyes again. 

"My... my grandparents are there, they would understand." I replied and he took a quick glance at me before facing the road again. 

"Are you sure? Are you sure that they won't do the same shit your mother did to you?!" I have the feeling that I should stop talking so he would stop getting mad. I feel like something bad would happen if he keeps getting upset each second. 

I nod, "My grandfather... he would understand, he's the first one to accept me while I was in my... my mother's womb. Hindi pa ako pinapanganak tanggap na niya ako, my lola too... they're nice people, Sam." I softly said and he nods, removing his left hand from the steering wheel and placing his elbow by the window. 

"Fine, okay, just tell me what I should do so I can help you." he said and I slowly nod while wiping the tears that streamed down awhile ago. 

It's 11pm when we arrived back in Manila. We needed to take a quick stop over to a gasoline near my condominium building so that I could calm myself down and don't look like I just got beaten up. But I can't hide the bruises on my arms that's why I'll just tell Inin that I just played with our house cat even there's none. 

"Spend more time with him." Sam said with a serious tone as I get out of his car. 

I gave him a smile, "I will, don't worry." I said and he nods, I waved him a goodbye before entering the building. 

My heart won't stop beating fast as I'm walking through the hallway of the building. And as I arrived in front of the door. It took me several deep breaths before pressing the passcode and entering the unit. 

My eyes widened a bit when I see Inin phasing back and forth while holding some papers. He also seems like he's memorizing something that's why he also haven't noticed me yet. 

I carefully close the door behind me and walk closer towards him who's in the living room. 

"In?" 

"Ay kabayo!" Napahagalpak ako ng tawa nang napatalon ito sa gulat at napasapo sa dibdib niya. 

"Lory naman!" he whined before welcoming me with a hug. 

"How was it?" he asked while caressing my back. I placed my chin on his shoulder and sigh, "It was okay." We almost died.

He pull away from the hug and held me on both my shoulders, "That's nice! Gutom kana ba? Nagluto ako ng tuna pasta, masarap siya! Nakakain na ako kanina pero gusto kitang sabayan." he said my eyes widened a bit. 

"Really?! Nagugutom na ako, eh, tara!" I held his hand and drag him to the dining table. I asked him how his day went while we're eating. He kept talking about his friends and classmates. He even bumped to Sean and said that he really miss his friends. Simula kasi nang lumipat siya sa condo ay madalang na silang magkita-kita lalo na at mga busy na sila sa pag-aaral. 

"Ano 'to?" I'm sitting down on the bed when he pointed at the bruises on my arm. 

"Ah, 'yan? Nakalmot kasi ako ng pusa sa bahay, akala ko mabait." I replied and his brows furrowed. 

"Gusto mo patingnan sa doktor? Baka may rabies?" he worriedly asked, I giggle and reach for his cheeks and pull him closer to plant a peck on his lips. 

"Okay na 'yan, nilagyan ko na ng gamot." I replied, our faces inches apart. 

I felt his cheeks heat-up as I'm holding onto it. 

I giggled, "Stressed sa uni?" I asked and he slowly nod. Something on his lower body caught my attention which made giggle. 

"You're hard--"

"Huwag mo nang pansinin 'yan, matulog na tayo." he pull away from me and turn off the lampshade on his side. 

I bit my lower lips as I stay at my position, when he faced me back, that's when I reach for him for a kiss. He immediately gave me the same thing and respond to the kiss. He slowly press me down on the bed as he hover on top of me. I clung my arms on his nape to pull him closer. 

He's sitting on my legs and he's just wearing boxer shorts, I can fully see his erection and feel it. 

We're both panting when pulled away from the hug, "Lory, pagod ka sa biyahe." he said as he wipe the saliva on his lips. 

I shake my head, "No, not at all." I said before both of us giggling and ended up staying till dawn, taking every inch of each other. 

The next day, late na ako nakapasok sa trabaho, si Inin naman ay hindi na rin pumasok sa isa niyang subject dahil hinintay na ako para daw sabay kaming umalis. 

Pagdating ko ng opisina ay nagulat ako dahil naghihintay si Sam sa cubicle ko. 

"What's up--"

"My father is going to fire you any moment now." he said and my eyes widened. 

I let out a shaky breath, "I wasn't wrong." I mumbled and he hummed before putting both his hands on his pockets. 

"I need to book a flight immediately." I said and he nods, "Do you have any savings?" he asked and I nod, "I have, don't worry." I replied and he nods. 

"Your parents know already?" I asked, I saw his jaw move before he slowly nod. 

"Yes and... they... they humiliated you." he replied and a scoff escaped my lips. 

"They see me as someone dirty, don't they?" I asked and that's the time he met my eyes. 

"I'm sorry, I tried to explain but they just kept on talking shit, I'm sorry Louise." he softly said but I shake my head. 

"It's fine... just... help me get a ticket please." I said and he nods before leaving me at my cubicle. 

Utay-utay akong napa-upo sa bangko ko habang sinusuportahan nag bigat ng katawan ko. Ang mga luha ay hindi ko na napigilan pa at tahimik na umiyak sa lamesa ko. 

Hindi mali si Sam dahil bago pa man magtanghalian ay ipinatawag ako ni tito opisina niya at walang ibang sinabi kundi ang sisantehin ako at sabihin alisin ko na raw ang mga gamit ko dahil ayaw na niya akong makita pa. 

And around 2pm, while I'm  clearing my table, Sam handed me the ticket. 

"Thank you," I said with a hoarse voice, I'm putting the ticket inside my bag when Sam pulled me into a hug. 

"Be strong, okay? I'm here, you can call me anytime." he mumbled behind my ears and I nod as more tears starts streaming down my cheeks. 

"I will, don't worry, I can take this." I said and pull away from the hug. He even helped me clean the table and even took me to my condo. 

Naisipan ko na rin na mag-impake at ipinadala ito kay Sam sa condo namin. Sinigurado ko lang na hindi mahahalata ni Inin na maraming gamit ko ang nawawala. 

Holding the plane tickets in my left hand and my right hand on my stomach, I cried silently in the bathroom. 

I can't even build courage to say goodbye to Tobi and Gwen. My flight is at 7am tomorrow, I don't know if I can even say goodbye to Inin, telling him that I'll just be at work without crying. 

I traced my fingers to the ticket where the name 'Canada' is written. Hindi tumitigil ang mga luha ko hanggang sa marinig ko na nagbukas na ang pinto ng condo. Agad ko itong itinago sa wallet ko at naghilamos. Naglagay din ako ng sabon para idahilan kay Inin na nalagyan ako ng sabon sa mata kaya mapula ito. 

"Pagod ka?" I softly ask as I got out of the bedroom and see him already preparing dinner for us. 

He glance at me and smiled before nodding, "Sakto lang, normal day." he replied before putting on apron. 

I rush towards him and reach for his hand to stop from tying the apron, "I'll cook for us." I said, giving him a smile. 

"Okay lang ba 'yang mata mo? Ang pula, Lory." he said, reaching for my cheek, I held his hand and put it down before nodding. 

"Irritated lang, tapos naghilamos ako at nalagyan ng sabon sa mukha." I replied and he slowly nod. He put the apron on me before planting a kiss on my forehead. 

Nagpaalam siya na maglilinis daw muna siya ng katawan habang nagluluto ako.

Habang naggagayat ng sibuyas ay muli kong inilabas ang mga luha ko na kanina pa nagbabadya. Panay hilamos ako para mahimasmasan ang mata ko. Ayaw ko na makita niya akong umiiyak, ayaw ko na mag-aalala siya. Baka hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko at sabihin sa kaniya ang totoo. 

Nagulat ako nang bigla niya akong yakapin mula sa likuran habang nagluluto. He even planted a kiss on my cheeks which made me giggle. I would make him taste the food because I don't have a good sense of taste at this point. Nababago na ang mga panlasa ko sa pagkain dahil sa pagbubuntis ko. 

Just like what Sam told me, I treasured the remaining time we have together. We even watched a movie after dinner and I craved for sweets, gladly there's ice creams and chocolate in the fridge. 

I woke up early the next day, he have his 7am classes today, I prepared our breakfast and make sure everything is perfect. Everything should be perfect before I leave. 

I also wake him up with a kiss, he won't stop hugging me as we get to the dining room. 

"Sarap naman nito!" he said while munching on the food which made me giggle. 

"May exams ako mamaya, kapag mataas ang nakuha ko, ipagluluto kita ng baked macaroni at chicken, gusto mo ba?" he happily said, parang piniga ang lamang loob ko habang nakatingin sa mga masasaya niyang mata. 

I forced a smile and nod, "Siyempre! Alam ko naman na mataas ang makukuha mo na score!" I exclaimed and he giggled. 

Hindi ako mapakali habang hinihintay siya na mag-ayos. Ang handbag ko na madalas kong dinadala sa trabaho ay hindi na mga ballpen nag lama kundi ang passport at ticket ko. 

I held his hand while we're walking to the hallway, until we arrived outside the building, waiting for a jeepney. 

I grip tight on the strap of my bag while looking down. 

Why am I having second thoughts? May oras pa ako para umurong.

Para akong maiihi nang makita ang jeep na may signboard papuntang PUP na paparating, napakagat ako sa pang-ibaba kong labi bago hinigit ang kamay ni Inin para kunin ang atensyon niya.

"Bakit?" he softly asked, 

I smiled at him before shaking my head, "Mag-iingat ka ha! Galingan mo sa test mo! Sa lahat ng test mo! Baka future engineer ko 'yan!" I tried to make my voice sound as happy as possible. 

He smiled, "Oo naman! Ako pa! Magiging engineer 'to oh!" he slap his chest which made me giggle. 

Nanlamig ang kamay ko nang tumigil na sa harap namin ang jeep, "Sige na Lory, andiyan na 'yong jeep." he lean closer to give me a kiss, halos ayaw kong bitawan ang kamay niya nang tumakbo siya papunta sa jeep. 

"I love you! Sobra!! Always and forever!" I shouted while waving at  him. "I love you more!" sigaw niya mula sa pintuan ng jeep.

I place the hand he last held on my stomach as I wave at him, he was smiling at me. He's probably nervous about his exam, but I know he's also looking forward for tonight. 

Doon na nagsimulang tumulo ang mga luha ko, narinig ko ang pagtigil ng sasakyan sa harap ko at nang bumukas ito ay iniluwa nito si Sam at agad akong dinaluhan ng yakap. 

"I saw everything, are you sure about this Lory? I'm telling you, you don't have to do this!" he exclaimed while caressing my back. I cried on his chest but I shake my head. 

"I have to, lets go, umalis na tayo, please." I said and he nods, he guided me to the passenger seat, nakita ko na rin nag mga gamit ko sa likod. 

There's no turning back now.

"Before you leave, take these first." he handed me five boxes of pregnancy test. 

My lips parted, "Why?" I confusedly ask, "You haven't visited a doctor yet, malay mo false pregnancy lang." he said and I let out a frustrated sigh. 

"Sam--"

"I'm sorry Louise, pero please, a part of me is hoping that those would come out negative so you don't have to suffer. So please take them." he replied, I sigh before letting go of my luggage and walking to the nearest restrooms in the airport. 

And as I expected, I came back with 5 positive test. He looks stunned while looking at them, parang sinisigurado pa niya na ang two lines ay positive. 

"Okay... fine." he lift his head up and I saw how tears streamed down his cheeks. 

"You should go na, you're flight is in 2 minutes." he said, hindi ko na napigilan ang umiyak at muli siyang niyakap. 

"Bantayan mo siya please, kaya ko ang sarili ko. Kakayanin ko lahat, I'll be careful, I'll learn how to cook more foods, I can do this, just look after him, please? Huwag mo siyang hahayaan na magkasakit, na masaktan, na gumawa ng ikapapahamak niya, if he ever... end up loving someone else, just support him, okay?" I mumbled in his ears and he nods as I felt his grip tighten on my back. 

He pull away from the hug and cupped my cheeks, "Take care of the child, I'll take care of the father." he said before planting a kiss on my forehead. 

"Sige na, umalis kana, baka hilahin pa kita palabas at dalhin sa PUP." he said which made me giggle. I pull my baggage with me as I wave him a goodbye. 

And as I turn my back at him, more tears starts streaming down my cheeks as I held my stomach. 

"Babalik tayo anak, babalik tayo kapag naabot na ni daddy ang pangarap niya." 

As the flight takes off, I remove the sim card of my phone, I hugged my handbag and pull it closer to my chest. I'm glad that I have a window seat so I can distract myself by looking outside instead of crying my eyes out. It'll be embarrassing if I end up crying here again. I've cried enough, I need energy so that before the day ends, I would get to my grandparent's house. 

When the plane landed at the airport, it's already evening. As I stand up, I did some stretches as I've been sitting down for 12 hours straight. Hindi na rin ako nakipagsabayan sa dagsa ng tao sa paglabas para hindi siksikan. Nang makababa rin ako ng eroplano ay agad kong itinapon ang sim card ko, wala nang magiging silbi 'yan dito, bibili nalang ako ng bago. 

One hand on my luggage and the other on my stomach, I left the airport and took a taxi. 

If I am not mistaken, my grandparents live in a small neighborhood here in Canada. It's a bit far from the airport that's why when I arrived in front of the house that if I am not mistaken is where they live, I already feel like passing out. 

"Thank you." I thanked the driver when he helped me with my luggage. 

When he left, I stood outside the front yard, standing by the sidewalk and looking at the house. 

From the window, I saw two people dancing inside. And when I saw my lolo's blonde hair, I know they're still here.

I took a deep breath and grip tighter on my luggage and took steps towards the door. As I stood at the doorsteps, I can hear their giggles and the music they're dancing to. I felt my throat tighten and my eyes got moist again. 

I took a deep breath and press the doorbell. I heard few noises inside the even the music stopped. 

When the door opened, it's my lolo who welcomed me. 

"Hi--"

"I think I know you, don't tell me your name!" he joyfully said which made me giggle. 

He put his hand on his forehead and think, "Honey, who's that?" my lola behind him appeared, her eyes widened and gasped. 

"Louisa!!" 

"No!! Why would you say the answer! I know it's Louise! It's already at the tip of my tongue!" My lolo exclaimed as my lola already said my name, well not really. 

"Naku! Hija! Napabisita ka! Kasama mo ba ang mga mommy mo?" My lola, who's a Filipina and is my lolo's second wife after my real grandma died asked. 

I slowly shake my head, "No po." I replied and her brows, "Pumasok ka nga muna, gabi na, oh! Baka masirinuhan ka." she pulled me inside and my lolo closed the door behind me. 

Lola guided me to their living room and as I look around, you can tell that two senior citizen is living here and one is a Filipina. There's walis tambo, there's a can of cookie by the television which I know is filled with sewing materials. 

"Maupo ka, sit down, I'll get you water." Lola said and push me down on their sofa, lolo opened the electric fan and slowly sat next to me. 

"How's your mom?" he softly asked, a small smile crept on my lips and reach for his wrinkled and veiny hands. 

"She's doing fine." I mumbled and he smiled. 

I know he misses his daughter, I don't know why we had to leave Canada when I was a kid. But I sure did remember how mom and lolo fought. It was full of screams and shouts mostly coming from my mom. 

When lola returned with a drink. That's when they begun asking and of course, I told them the truth. Even why I decided to leave and not tell the father. At first I thought they would be upset specially my lola. But to my surprise, she got excited because she said she'll finally be able to hold a baby again. 

All those worries, the nervousness in me, gone. She even reheat the nilaga for me! Then she asked me if I can sleep by the floor in their room tonight cause the extra room is not yet cleaned. While eating, she asked how was I in the 21 years, I was 3 when she last saw me and she said I grew so well and beautiful girl. 

I was doing well while taking a shower and changing, hanggang sa paghiga sa banig ay magaan ang pakiramdam ko hanggang sa ma-alala ko si Inin. It's morning in the Philippines now. What did he do last night? Kumain na kaya siya? How was his exam? Did he got a high score? Nagluto ba siya ng baked mac at chicken? Did he wait for me? Did he looked for me? Na-realize na ba niya na umalis ako? 

Kinabukasan ay nagising ako sa ingay ng pagpupukpok, napabangon ako sa banig at napakamot sa ulo ko bago lumabas ng kwarto. Sa kabilang kwarto ay nakita ko si lolo na nag-aayos na. 

"Good morning Louise! Did I woke you up, sweetie? My bad, I'm just fixing this so that you can sleep on good bed tonight." he said with a smile, nakakahawa ang ngiti niya kaya hindi ko na rin napigilan ang mapangiti. 

"It's fine lolo, I'll just be eating downstairs." I said and lolo nods, when I got down, from the window I saw lola by the loan.

"Lola? Kumain na po kayo?" tawag ko mula sa pinto, lola looked at me and nod, "Oo, Louisa, kumain kana rin! Masamang malipasan ng gutom mg buntis!" she said which made me smile. 

When I got to the kitchen, there's bread toast, eggs and sausages. Agad kumalam ang sikmura at kumain na ako agad. Habang kumakain ay naisipan ko na gumawa ng kape kaya nagpainit muna ako ng tubig sa takure. 

Kinuha ko na ang kape at asukal nang bigla akong sitahin ni lola, "Bawal ang kape sa buntis, gatas ang sa 'yo." she strictly said which made me pout and obediently nod. Habang kumakain ay kinekwento ako ni lola, nadadala rin ako sa lakas ng hagalpak ng tawa niya lalo na kapag nagkekwento ito sa kakulitan ni lolo. Alam ko naman na makulit si lolo, hindi ko nga alam kung kanino nagmana si mom ng masamang ugali. Maski si lola Fina ay mabait, siguro ay sa tunay ko na lola. 

Pagkatapos kong kumain ay nagtulong-tulong kaming tatlo na ayusin ang kwarto. Sobrang simple lang nito, may kama, may cabinet at lamesa. Malayong-layo sa buhay ko sa Pilipinas. Pero iba rin ang pakiramdam sa bahay na 'to kumpara sa bahay ni dad. This feels home, feels love, feels comfort and safe. 

Imbes na magluto ay inaya ko sila lolo at lola sa mall. Nabanggit din kasi ni lola na halos isang beses lang sa isang taon kung sila ay gumala ni lolo. Kaya naman sa mall na kami kumain at namili na rin ako ng gamit ko. Si lolo naman itong sinurpresa ako ng damit pambata. 

"Thank you lolo!" I said before hugging him, we also watched in the cinema, a smile would crept on my lips when I would glance at my grandparents hands, intertwined together. 

They look so in love with each other, as if they're match made in heaven. 

Around 4pm, we head back home, me and lolo played scribble while lola prepare our dinner. It was a simple yet a very satisfying life I would choose to live and raise my child. 

"Lola, lolo, I'm home!" I happily said as I place down the bag of groceries I got. 

I place my hand on my baby bump as I carefully walk though the table to avoid accidents. 

"How was the check-up,  sweetie?" Lolo asked from the living room, what are they doing there? Bakit hindi niya ako sinasalubong?

I put my bag down and walk towards them while putting on my slippers, "It was great! Baby is doing fine! Bye the check-up, we can finally find out if it's a girl or a boy!" I happily said before lifting my head up, that's when my lips parted to see an unexpected visitor. 

"You're here..." I mumbled, shocked and frozen on my spot, he smiled at me before walking towards me and engulf me with a hug. 

"Of course, I came here to see you and the baby." he said behind my ears which made me smile. I felt the tightening of my throat and hugged him back. 

"Louisa, are you sure he's not the baby's father?" Lola asked, 

Sam pulled away from the hug and chuckled, "No po, I'm her friend, I just checked up on her." Sam replied and lola nods. 

"Sige, dito kana magtanghalian, magluluto ako." Lola rushed out of the living room and went straight to the kitchen while lolo slowly stand up and walk towards Sam to pat his shoulder. 

"You're a good looking kid, I can see myself at you when I was at your age." he said which made me and Sam chuckle. 

When the two left us, we confusedly look at each other. 

"Louisa?"

"How did you find me here?" We asked in unison which made us burst out laughing. 

He guided me to the sofa so we can take a seat, "When I told tito Thiago that you went to Canada, he already had a hint that you went to your grandparents, so he told me their address. Sakto dahil may business meeting ako rito bukas." he replied and I slowly nod, 

"How was--"

"Why does your lola call you Louisa?" he asked, confusion printed on his face and it made me giggle. 

"Well... siguro nalito lang siya kasi Louise talaga 'yon, pero I don't mind. And cute kaya!" I slightly slapped his arm and he chuckled before nodding. 

"Back to my questions, how... is he?" I asked and the atmosphere went serious. 

He looked down on his hands and tilt his head, "He... he left your condo." he said and my lips parted. 

"What?! Why?!" I whispered shouted, he faced me and slowly shake his head. 

"Well... he gone... insane, pero hindi siya nagwala at hindi siya nabaliw, grabe naman kung ganon. Pero he did pushed me away." he replied and my brows furrowed. 

"You two met?" I asked and he nods, "Dinala ako ni tito sa condo niyo 3 days after mo umalis, he was there, he looks like a mess. Akala ko nga noong una ay pinabayaan na niya ang pag-aaral niya." he said and I suddenly felt the shiver in my spine. 

"Did he...--"

"No, he didn't dropped out, silly. 'Yong lamesa, puno ng test paper, he aced each and every fucking one of them, lahat! May baked mac at chicken din sa ref na panis na pero ayaw niyang itapon, he said he made that for you and he was still waiting for you during those times." he replied and that's when I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. 

"He was... he was sad and upset. I can tell, he looks... desperate and helpless, naka-usap ko rin 'yong kaibigan mo na babae, 'yong anak ni General Jimenez, pumunta rin daw doon si Rustin, nagmaka-awa, si Tobi na raw ang humarap dahil hindi raw kayang panoorin noong isa na umiiyak si Rustin." he added, he pulled me closer to him and caress my back. 

"Where is he now?" I sobbed, "He's with his friends, I've also done my best to be friends with them." replied and I kept silent while listening. 

"They're nice, may pagkamasungit lang 'yong isa." he said and let out a chuckle, "Si Sean." I said and he hummed. 

"The other one looks so damn intimidating but is so careful and naive, your boy... the last time I saw him was a week ago, he's doing better, but he's still hoping since he know I am your friend. Tuwing magkikita kami ay nagbabakasakali siya na may balita ako tungkol sa 'yo." he said and that's when I felt more tears stream down my cheeks. Iniisip ko palang kung ano ang kalagayan niya ay naiiyak na ako. What more if we get to see each other again and he tell me how he felt? 

Baka hindi ko kayanin lahat.

Just like what lola said, Sam stayed for lunch. Nakipagbolahan pa si Sam kila lolo at lola, sa sobrang tuwa ni lola ay pinabaunan pa ito ng adobo! 

[How are you?] Ali asked from the other line, I can sense the blue in her voice which made my brows furrowed. 

"I'm doing fine, of course. I'm having midnight snack." I said before taking a spoonful of cookies drenched in milk just like a cereal. 

[It's almost 2 in the morning, hindi na 'yan midnight snack.] she said which made me giggle. 

"Kahit na, nagugutom ako, eh." I replied and she hummed, 

[Your baby giving you a hard time?] she asked, I lift my head up before shaking my head. 

"Hindi na masyado, morning sickness nalang pero sanay na." I said and she hummed again. 

Hindi na ako makatiis dahil nag-aalala na ako sa boses niya. "Okay ka lang ba? May sakit ka ba?" I worriedly asked, 

[Wala, pagod lang, it's 2am ba naman, siyempre puyat na.] she replied and I giggled, 

"Oo nga pala, sorry!" I said before taking another spoonful. 

[Are you getting stressed these past few days?] she asked and I look up at the ceiling. 

"Hindi naman, I'm actually doing great! Me and my baby is doing good! May check-up ako next week! Malalaman ko na if baby girl or boy!" I exclaimed and she hummed, narinig ko itong bumuntong hininga at nanahimik. 

Tahimik lang ako na kumakain sa kitchen habang hinihintay siya na magsalita. 

[Are you scared, Lory?] she asked and I confusedly looked at my phone that is on the countertop. 

"Saan?" I asked, [Sa pagbubuntis, sa lahat ng nangyayari sa 'yo, your stomach getting bigger and bigger, the baby inside you.] she said and my lips parted. 

I wipe the side of my lips and place the bowl down, "Medyo, natatakot ako kung paano ko ilalabas si baby, kung paano ako iire, kung gaano kasakit. Tapos what if hindi ako maalam kumarga, what if hindi ko kayanin na magpalit ng diapers. What if maging masama rin akong ina?" I said while leaning on the countertop, elbows on it. 

[Don't say that, you're gonna be a great mom, Lory. You will not end up like your mother.] she softly said and it brought a smile on my lips. 

"Lalo kana 'no! Kapag ikaw na ang magiging mommy! Si tita Aleah kaya ang pinaka mabuting ina ang kilala ko!" I exclaimed and she chuckled. 

[Sige na, I need to go na, thank you for the time. Take care always, stress, lack of sleep and eating late is bad for the baby.] she said and I hummed, 

"Yes po ninang, matutulog na ako after this." I teased and she chuckled before ending the call. 

I let out a deep breath and pick up my bowl, "You'll not end up like her, you'll be the mother she can never be."