*WARNING* mature content, possible trigger warning!

october, 2019

the sirens faded as the ambulance drove further and further away from the boy, but it all blurred together. the flashing lights, the blaring sounds, the comforting touches on the shoulders, everything.

mark felt completely numb.

-

mark had been promoting with nct 127 when he met her.

she was a fan who came to their meet and greet and just happened to grab the boy's attention. he'd been so bold as to leave his number in her album, and though she'd been hesitant to text, she did.

unknown
hello?

unknown
is this mark lee?

mark
depends on if this is
album girl or not 😉

unknown
...

[mark changed unknown to album girl]

album girl
is it too late to delete
my number?

mark
yep! hehehe it's
mark lee😄👍

mark
hey! that rhymed!
that can be, like,
a jingle or something.

album girl
🤦‍♀️ oh god, my bias
is a twelve-year-old.

•

mark
album girl

mark
album girl

mark
aLbUm giRL

mark
i think you're pretty

mark
jk...

mark
... unless?
😳
[read at 10:47 am]

mark
... i see how it is.

mark
r u d E 😤

album girl
my name isn't album girl.

album girl
if you keep spamming
me, i'll make johnny
my bias.

mark
wAiT tHiS iS
bULLyiNg ;-;

mark
i am a cHILF

mark
cHILD

mark
hAVE MERCY

album girl
omg i swear mark lee,
i will block you.

mark
wait okay i'm sorry
don't leave me
i'm a lonely canadian
😔✊🇨🇦

album girl
well, i'm canadian too.
there, now you're not
lonely.

mark
😱😱
yOu'Re fRoM
cAnAdiA ?!?!?

album girl
haha, yeah.

album girl
and my name is haru,
by the way.

[mark changed album girl to haru☺️💕💚]

haru☺️💕💚
🤦‍♀️

•

they got off on a weird foot, but the two soon became best friends. haru was like mark's secret canadian crush, and mark was her secret idol admirer.

as time went by, they really got closer and closer. it came to the point where haru felt like she could tell him anything. despite being worlds apart, he was always there for her.

haru☺️💕💚
mark.

haru☺️💕💚
i need to tell you something.

mark
what's up album girl?

mark
i'm about to get
ice cream with johnny
😋🍦

haru☺️💕💚
okay, i'll be quick...

haru☺️💕💚
this isn't a good idea.

haru☺️💕💚
you're an idol, and
if anyone found out
that you were dating
a fan...

haru☺️💕💚
a foreign fan who's a
recovering drug addict...

haru☺️💕💚
it might hurt your career

haru☺️💕💚
and i care about you
and nct too much
to ever do that to you

mark
... so

mark
not getting ice cream
with johnny😠🍦

haru☺️💕💚
mark...

haru☺️💕💚
i'm being serious

mark
so am i !

mark
can't believe he just
left me like that...

mark
gives me target flashbacks...

haru☺️💕💚
haha, i remember that.

haru☺️💕💚
but seriously, i think
it'd be best if we stop
talking. i don't want to
get you involved in my
messed up shit.

mark
sh*t is a bad word😤

haru☺️💕💚
s h i t

mark
*surprised pikachu face*

mark
you know, you said
yoU CARE ABOUT
ME 🥰

haru☺️💕💚
.

haru☺️💕💚
i did no such thing.

mark
okay, but like, i kinda
care about you too

mark
and that why i'm gonna
stop being your friend.

haru☺️💕💚
huh?

mark
and be your
bOyfRieND iNstEAd !

[mark changed haru☺️💕💚 to GIRLFRIEND💖😍💚😘❤️]

GIRLFRIEND💖😍💚😘❤️
you know what mark?

GIRLFRIEND💖😍💚😘❤️
that doesn't sound
half bad.

[GIRLFRIEND💖😍💚😘❤️ changed mark to mark💚]

•

just to make sure she wasn't messing with him, mark called her that night and they talked for hours. they became official, and mark promised to stay by her side and be there whenever she needed him.

she had cried, and mark had panicked.

the two kept their relationship a secret like that for almost two months, and things were good. nct's popularity was thriving worldwide, haru was doing great with rehab, and mark was even about to become a member of a new group-superM.

the couple had celebrated privately over facetime, which led to haechan becoming the one and only member who knew about mark's relationship. of course, he promised to keep it secret, especially after what had happened to soohyun.

and then it happened.

mark had almost fallen asleep when his phone rang. glancing at the screen, the boy grinned goofily when he saw his girlfriend's contact flash across the screen.

he picked it up instantly, his voice filled with joy. "hel-"

"mark?" her voice was broken as she released what sounded like another sob. mark instantly shot up in bed, panic flooding his veins.

"haru? what's wrong?"

the girl coughed, unable to form complete sentences, "i-i need you. my parents... they.. oh god!" mark felt his heart break as she let out another cry. he needed to be with her.

he was so focused on trying to understand his girlfriend that he hadn't noticed haechan enter the room. the younger boy opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but when he saw mark's fearful expression, he closed it.

"haru," mark whispered, and hyuck knew something bad had happened. he watched as mark eyed an empty bag on the floor. without a second thought, mark shoved some clothes into a backpack.

haechan reappeared with something in his hands, but mark was too distracted to notice. the younger boy shoved it into his hyung's backpack and zipped it shut. mark ran from his room once hyuck hit the bag to show that it was shut, tugging his shoes on as he did.

turning the corner, he ran right into johnny.

"woah! mark, slow-"

"family emergency! be back soon!" the boy yelled before the door shut behind him.

mark shook his head, clearing the thoughts from his head before knocking softly on the door. if he got the address correct, the apartment he was in should be haru's. she told him everything ever the phone as he made his way to the airport.

her parents had been in an accident. they didn't make it.

the boy ran his hand through his tussled hair once before knocking again. the door swung open, and mark's heart broke.

haru stood before him, still shaking, with messy hair and red eyes. any other person would just assume it was the grief, but mark couldn't help but worry if she was using again.

he took a step forwards and she collapsed in his arms; sobs racking her body. mark shut the door before wrapping his arm around her and holding her close. he'd never been good at comforting people, but this was different. it was like all she needed was to be hugged, and that was all he could do.

•

it was their third morning together when mark felt gentle tugs on his hair. haru had fallen asleep in his arms the night before, so he brought her to her room and slept on the couch. when mark opened his eyes, he was surprised to find haru playing with his hair, his head placed comfortably in her lap.

he smiled. she smiled back.

"it's so strange, having you here like this. i still can't believe i'm dating mark lee." said boy blushed shyly, which made haru laugh lightly. he had a way of making her feel better even when she was at her low.

"good morning to you too."

mark sat up, shaking his hair out, which only made it worse. haru giggled at the sight and carefully played with the ends that stuck up from his scalp. a sudden, crushing wave of numbing anxiety overcame the girl, and she pulled her hand away from mark.

just a little more, she promised herself as her tongue started feeling dry. grief hit her heart as tears stung her eyes. i need it.

since mark's arrival, haru would only shoot a little to convince herself that she was okay. as time passed, the urge got stronger, but mark did a good job of keeping her occupied.

to rid of any suspicion mark may have had, haru smiled brightly and stood. "hey, marker, wanna pick up some breakfast? we didn't have any dinner; you must be starving."

mark smiled back and took her small hand in his. "sure. will you be okay alone?"

the girl nodded, maybe a little too eagerly. "yeah, i'll be fine. i should probably shower anyways." she sent him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand. "hurry back," the boy leaned forward and quickly pecked her cheek.

"i'll be here before you know it. there's a great place not too far from here."

haru smiled and nodded, releasing his hand as he hurried to get food.

when the door shut, the shaking girl waited a second before jumping to her feet and running into the bathroom. she threw herself to the floor, almost ripping the cabinet door off its hinges when she opened it.

haru blindly reached towards the back, groping random bags she had beneath the sink. then her hand grazed a familiar tin container, and her goosebumps covered her body.

guilt tugged her muscles, trying to pull her away from the sink. but the urge was too strong.

it was over the second her nails clanked against the metal box.

•

when he was waiting for his food, he'd decided to search through his backpack to see what he actually brought.

and he found the bear haechan had stuffed in the bag.

he smiled, wanting to give it to haru before he left for korea.

since the girl left the door unlocked, mark walked right in, a smile on his lips, food in one hand and stuffed animal in the other.

"sorry i'm late! it was much busier than i-" his eyes landed on her and the bags of food dropped to the floor.

her name stuck in his throat as the boy stilled.

a second passed.

then two.

then mark ran forward and grabbed the seizing girl in his arms.

"h-haru?" he screamed, his voice breaking with shock and fear. her breath came out as wheezes and her eyes rolled back in her head as she continued shaking.

searching urgently for his phone, mark's gaze landed on the empty tin box and used needles laying across the mattress. the terrified boy snatched the device in his shaking hands and called the police.

the operator's voice faded as the girls seizing slowed. the skin around her lips had turned a light, icy shade of blue. her wheezes turned into shallow breaths and mark felt his heart stop cold in his chest.

thinking back to school, he laid her down and started chest compressions. the shaking lyrics to stayin' alive left his lips as he continued pressing on her chest.

"come on, come on, please!" he cried, praying that the police arrived soon.

the little, faded teddy bear laid abandoned on the floor, it's hollow, cracked eyes staring at the shaking boy's back as he watched his love fade before his eyes.

• • •

this was lowkey inspired by breaking bad...

1765 words