"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing,
So baby don't feel no pain just smile back..."

"He... he was my brother..."

Stiles Stilinski was barely able to get the small sentence out of his mouth, his voice was rough from lack of use and muffled sobs. He didn't know how he had even arrived... how he was standing or even how he had been able to make a complete sentence because since his death Stiles had felt like half of his body had been ripped away without warning and tossed into a dark abyss that he wasn't allowed to follow.

Bugs Stilinski was dead... he was gone and never coming back. He had died valiantly, saving the life of his one true best friend. The boy had gone off happily, with a smile against his bloodstained lips as he had nodded at Stiles that it was okay. He would be okay. Stiles would be okay.

But he wasn't. Stiles wasn't... to be fair no one was but the sole heir to the Stilinski name was by far the worst. It had been two days... forty-eight hours... two sunsets and two sunrises and yet the world had stood still for a small band of teenagers in Beacon Hills. For one in particular however it felt like whole damned world had crashed around him and he was left with nothing but a void he knew would never be filled and shattered remains of the life he had let slip through his fingers

Time was meaningless as he had fallen into his own pit of darkness that no one was able to dig him out of. All he could do was drop deeper into this void as he replayed that days occurrence, blaming himself further for the fate his only brother had fallen into. Bugs had wasted his last breath reassuring him that it wasn't his fault because Stiles knew it was... Stiles knew there was no one to blame but him.

And he would spend a lifetime believing so because he had too look everyone else in the face and know that Bugs would have been better off living.

Stiles looked at Malia, watching the sorrow in her eyes and she retreated into her own mind. She had lost her mate... coyotes mated for life and hers was gone all before she had been able to say I love you back. In a blink of an eye the girl had lost the one person who had put her on a pedestal from the beginning of her human life. He was gone, and Stiles blamed himself for the pain Malia was going through. He could see it in her eyes everyday, the way she would be asleep in Bugs room, her finger clutching at another dirty shirt of his that clung his scent. Or the way she had let her claws grow out the entire ride back from Mexico, digging them into the soft skin of her palms from going ballistic. Pain made her human, pain kept her sane.

His thoughts drifted to his father who reverted back to his old ways and thrown himself into mounds of work, ignoring everyone else. Stiles had told him... shown him the amount of blood across his plaid shirt but he didn't believe it. The sheriff shook his head and told Stiles to stop lying, his son wasn't dead, he had said. But Stiles knew, he could see past the doubt in fathers blue eyes. He knew that his son was dead... he just wasn't ready to accept he had lost yet another person in his heart.

The rest of the pack had reacted about as bad as when they first had lost Allison. Everyone ran to their own corners, suffering in their own way just like Stiles had been.

For those few short hours his entire house was filled with a dead silence... one that could drive him insane if he didn't get out of his house. He couldn't be in the same room where Bugs had last smiled, where his smell still lingered.

He didn't know when or why, where in his mind this was a good idea but he just had to do it. He just had to. Despite his brothers body not being found the day of the rescue he still deserved a proper burial. He deserved to be remembered and put to rest in some shape or form.

So he had dragged everyone he could find, others like Malia and his father were harder to convince, Malia being the only one to actually show up out of the two. Everyone else was here, all standing around the same place.

He had found the perfect spot for Bugs' remains under some giant oak tree that had been alive for centuries. It reminded him of his brother, strong and sturdy one that come good or bad weather would forever be immortalized.

He had found some of Bugs' favorite thing, his old flash shirt... one that Malia had brought, Scott had brought the boys favorite black Nike sneakers, Kira had brought the blue flannel the green eyed boy had given to her all those weeks ago, Lydia arrived with candy bars as she had remembered all those times the boy had actually shown up with pockets full of sugary sweets and offered her some every single time, and Stiles had found an original picture of his family.

It was a picture of them as newborns, their mother and father smiling bright at the camera as she displayed them to the camera. The baby boys were sound asleep, identical faces of pure peace to both of their faces. Sheriff and Claudia were laughing in their moment of joy. The mother bright eyed as she hugged one of the boys closely to her chest.

Of course there were many pictures of the family before Claudia died but that one was Bugs' favorite, it was them as children one of which held memories long before either of them were turned into the darker parts of the world. Stiles liked to think it was because the picture was before Bugs' was diagnosed with anger problems.

Now the picture was painful to look at for the only Stilinski heir left, so he had dropped into the small tin box he had found suitable for his brothers remains. One by one they had dropped what little piece of Bugs' Stilinski they were willing to leave behind.

Stiles was the first to speak, the only one willing to it seemed as everyone else just kept their heads down to the hole where the box lay uncovered... some sniffles heard and tears falling.

The first words he spoke barely came out, drowned against the sobs threatening to come from his lungs as he spoke.

He couldn't let go of him, how was he suppose to let go of the one person his whole life depended on?

He couldn't continue, he couldn't say another word... he just cried and shook. Sobs echoing through his body and out into the lonely forrest, accepting that life from now on would be lonelier then ever before.

Because half of him was gone and there was no chance he would ever be back.

Bugs Stilinski watched the scene play out, his own tears flowing down his cheekbones. His brother was mourning him, his entire family was broken over his death and all he wanted to do was tell them he was okay.

Unfortunately that wasn't an option at the moment.

"You know you'll be going back right?" Allison's soft voice spoke up, the girl had been quiet for the most part. Watching as he had wept silently and not uttered a word of comfort to him. He didn't need comfort right now though, the boy just needed to accept his own reality. Since his moment of arrival in "Bardo" as Allison had called it, there had been a plan set in motion for him. They knew everything about him and had even orchestrated his death... because the boy needed to be reborn into the role he was destined for. Bugs hadn't taken the news very bad considering he had to watch his friends and family be destroyed over his death but Allison had reassured him that they would be fine.

He would be fine.

Now the two just watched the scene play out, Allison letting Bugs cry while she wrapped an arm around him.

The brown eyed girl had finally spoken up as they watched the rest of the scene play out. The only actual comfort she might be able to provide was the promise that this was not his end.

Bugs had nodded back to Allison, feeling the girl place her head against his shoulder.

"I know, it's not fucking fair that they don't know I'm still alive."

"Technically you're not... you're shifting..."

₩₩₩₩

SO THERE YOU GO! BUGS ISN'T DEAD HES JUST CHILLING IN BARDO WITH MS ARGENT

SO WHATS BUGS SHIFTING INTO? WHATS THE BIG PLAN FOR HIM?

I GUESS YOULL JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT IN THE NEXT BOOK TITLED BLUE ITS ALREADY BEEN POSTED SO GO CHECK IT OUT!

THANKS GUYS FOR STICKING WITH THIS BOOK SO LONG HONESTLY BUGS IS MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT BECAUSE I PUT SO MUCH THOUGHT INTO HIS CHARACTER ITS CRAZY! AND I HAVE SO MUCH MORE PLANNED FOR HIM!!

-ASH💙

EDIT 9-12-18 HELLO EVERYONE SO THIS BOOK HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE! PLEASE DO NT ASK ME WHERE THE SECOND BOOK IS OR WHEN IT WILL COME AS I HAVE NO DESIRE TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES FOR NOW. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING AND HAVE A NICE DAY!