Problems
Varying in sizes,
Weight,
Some bind you,
Others don't...
What if I'm a problem
What if I bind those around me
Hold them back from what they're meant to be
I'm not entitled to stop someone's dream-chasing
So why can't I do as they would...
What's my problem...?
I see a new dream each day,
But it dies later that night.
I don't carry others' ambitions,
I don't have the courage,
Or the wisdom.
What's wrong with me...?
Is it my heart?
It must be my heart.
Locking itself away, keeping a cage on itself,
My heart's uneasy,
It quivers in fear...
Why can't I keep emotions, or feelings...
They can begin to blossom,
But it doesn't take long for them to wither...
Why are emotions so difficult for me...?
Do you ever feel like there's something wrong,
When there clearly isn't something wrong?
Everything seems alright...
But your heart, your head,
They say otherwise...
A flutter in your chest,
A flicker in your mind...
I follow no direction,
I'm aimless...
My life is a big fucking mess,
Whereas everyone else seems to have structure...
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry...
I am...
Sorry...
A cold burns within...
Unbearable...
Heat...
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My heart,
It aches,
The choice not its own to make
My chest,
It heaves,
As I hope I won't be forced to leave
What the fuck is wrong with me
My life,
It sucks,
As my soul feels greatly corrupt.
I hate myself,
I truly do,
I'm surrounded by ease,
But not luxuries.
I puff out my chest...
Then I deflate.
I keep up facades,
But it's not enough.
Not for me.
I hide myself,
As best I can.
I bury myself,
Beneath sand,
Away from as many people...
I don't want to interact,
But it's a basic function.
I try to run away,
But I'm stuck in one place.
Since I can't go,
I'll stay...
But in my way.
I'll hole myself in,
Minimal contact required,
I won't speak as often,
I've become a selective mute.
Silence, my friend.
Crowds, my enemy.
Jostling around with all those people...
It's a scary thought to me.
Completely surrounded, but still isolated,
It puts everything into perspective.
I am terrible with people,
But I'm still seen as friendly,
Outgoing.
I "joke" about myself,
Everyone laughs, but
I'm stinging myself in the process.
Self-hate,
Self-deprecation.
Easy laughs,
For my "friends."

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I got bored and decided to post. Hope you enjoy? What would you like to see next? Have a lovely day!

                             ~Editor-Kun