So... Things did not go as planned. I am now stuck on this space whatsit. Without Bucky, who I assume went somewhere else. As I am currently cowering in a corner, trying desperately not to get killed, this is not the greatest time for me to have to go to the bathroom.

Stormtroopers keep walking past every time I try to move out of the way, and I have to resist killing them. A pile of dead stormtrooper bodies would be very suspicious. But it would help me hold in my pee. "Oh, screw it," I mutter as another group of stormtroopers walk past.

Throwing my shield at them, they never knew what hit them. Because they died before they saw it. Reattaching my shield to the magnet on my back, I sneak away from my corner, then turn back. It might be helpful to have on one of those stormtrooper outfits. If anything, Bucky will be happy about it when I find him again. Then we can 'get rich.'

It's really stuffy in these outfits. I don't get how the stormtroopers can handle it. The whole ship probably smells like body odor. Gross. My heart races each time I pass a group, but no one pays attention. My growing need to go to the bathroom finally presses me to ask one of them where one is, and the guy just snorts and walks away as if I'd just said a funny joke.

Well, one thing is for certain. I've gotta get out of here. Judging from all of the alarms that have started going off, it's not normal to find a couple dead stormtroopers here and there. I guess I've been leaving a trail. Of dead dudes. Whoops.

I glance up at the signs lining the edge of the wall, then grin. "Escape pod." I mutter to myself. "Thank you, Bucky, for teaching me how to read that completely weird language that I thought was complete crap. What was it, Are you a bush? No, that's not right... Whatever." I chuckle to myself again, following the sign into a small opening in the ship. A door closes behind me, and I glance around. "This thing is tiny!" I exclaim to myself. "No way is there a bathroom in here. Darn." I glance over to the wall, where there's a panel of controls. With some difficulty, I read through a selection of planets that I have never heard of before. "What the heck..." I mutter. "Corellia? Stewjon? Ahch-To? I've never even heard of any of these!" I exclaim. "Stupid extended universe. I should've read those comics that Bucky kept pestering me to read." I usually like comics. I get to laugh at how stupid the writers were. Bucky, a kid? Ha!

I keep scrolling through, lazily rolling my eyes at the gibberish names on the screen. Then I see something familiar. "Jakku!" I smash my finger into the name, then yell in pain. "Ow!" The pain in my finger has just started diminishing when I'm slammed into the floor by a sudden acceleration. I land on my back, which is helpful because my shield is there. Otherwise I might have an issue. Actually, I've got a lot of issues at the present moment. One being that I am now in a tiny pod of death rocketing toward a big ball of sand at a bajillion miles an hour. Or light speed. Same thing.

Bucky would probably kill me if he saw what I was doing. It might remind him of the time I smashed a plane into the Arctic Ocean and got frozen for sixty six years. To be fair, though, he'd just finished falling off a train and being turned into a soviet assassin. Because that was stupid.

What feels like years and years later, a warning sign flashes up on the screen. I've been slowly ripping apart a bit of fabric that I found on the ground, desperately trying not to go to the bathroom. Man, what a stink that'd be. I read the warning in the screen, deciphering it letter by letter. "Umm, approaching Jakku. Thirty seconds remaining. What? Thirty seconds? DOES THIS THING HAVE SEATBELTS?"

I cling to the pod, staring out of the window at the barren landscape that's growing closer and closer before my eyes. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," I mutter, as the pod hurtles toward the ground.