Setting: After TWS/AU

THIS IS FOR MY BBY buckstan, ENJOY XX 

WARNING: theres gonna be some swearing in this soooo, beware!

~

The warmth of the sun on your cool skin is what woke you from your peaceful slumber. In synchronisation with your yawn, your tired limbs tingled as blood fled through your body as you stretched them above your head, before letting them fall on top of the man with his arms wrapped around you. With one arm shielding the sun from your eyes, the other was stroking your boyfriends hair as his soft breaths was all that was heard in the room, and you sighed.

You appreciated the calmness, as in a few hours, you were to take part in your sisters engagement party.

Everyone had thought you were going to be the first sister to be married, but due to your abrupt breakup with your long term boyfriend of 5 years, your world had come crashing down. You had planned out your life with him, before he ended your relationship due to his personal issues with his past. You were young, confused and emotional as you had tried your hardest to help the broken man you once called your boyfriend tackle his demons, you thought you had been helping him. But, in his words, he had never loved you and you didn't help at all, you were only with him to take his mind off things.

You left his world abruptly and with a relationship that would be difficult to mend and you haven't seen or heard from James Buchanan Barnes for several years, and maybe that was for the better. Your new boyfriend of 1 year, Noah, cherished and loved you; but the lingering sense of Bucky was still there, and there was no denying that.

"Morning beautiful," a husky voice brought you back from your racing thoughts. Your head snapped down to meet the waking of your boyfriend.

"Good morning," you smiled, before bringing your head down to meet his, your lips pressed softly against his.

"Ready for tonight?" he murmured, before slowly rising out of bed and walking toward the bathroom.

You groaned, loud enough for him to hear from the bathroom and you received a snicker from him in return. "You know my little sister, she'll treat her engagement party as if it were her actual wedding day," you said as you examined your freshly painted nails.

The sound of running water signalled that he began the shower, and you slowly exited the bed yourself before heading out into the kitchen.

The first thing you did was flick on the kettle to prepare yourself for your morning coffee whilst gathering food for your breakfast. In the middle of your creations, you felt a soft pinch as you spun around to Noah gently biting the back of your neck.

"Noah, please," you giggled, wrapping your arms around your boyfriends neck as he pressed a kiss against your cheek, "I'm trying to make breakfast,"

"How can food be more important than me?" he whimpered, "actually, don't answer that," he snickered as he was met with the seriousness of your expression.

"So," he began once more after a while of you eating and drinking your morning meal, "have you picked anything to wear?"

You rolled your eyes as you propped your elbows on the table, your chin in your palms. "The sis insists I wear the red dress she picked out for me, but I don't know," you questioned, your heart sinking as you came to the realisation that red was Bucky's favourite colour on you. You quietly cursed your past relationship, as you figured that everything reminded you of him.

"The red dress is a winner for me," Noah said quickly, before taking a bite of his toast.

You raised an eyebrow at him, "and why is that?"

Noah swallowed and smirked mischievously at you before walking over and whispering seductively in your ear, "cause its easy to take you out of it,"

You gasped before slapping him hard on the forearm, small giggles escaping your lips.

You pretended to be mad as you watched him snicker, before getting up to prepare yourself for your sisters event in the bedroom.

"I love you!" he called to you, receiving a flick of your middle finger as your reply.

* * *

You stared at yourself in the mirror, quite content with the outlook of the beautification you complied on yourself.

You decided to chose the red dress, as it hung to your curves perfectly and showed off just the amount of cleavage you liked. You had swept your brown waves to the side, letting it spill at the base of your neck in a messy bun, whilst your bronzed eyes and full red lips allowed a formal, yet natural look to shine through.

Bucky would have liked this, you thought. Wait, what the fuck? You shook your head at your previous thought, why would you think that?

"You look gorgeous, babe," Noah spoke, his hands already on your hips as his kissed your temple softly.

You smiled before turning around an kissing him on the cheek fully, snickering once a lip mark was left as a light reminded you were there.

You wiped it away whilst speaking, "Come on handsome, she's gonna be wondering where we are if we're not 15 minutes early.

* * *

The sound of gentle music and constant murmur filled your ears as you entered the event, you arm linked with Noah's. You smiled at the familiar faces of your sisters friends, whilst greeting your family and friends with open arms and faint kisses on the cheek.

"Elsie!" the high pitched sound of your sister protruded from the room as you watched your younger sister speed walk toward you. She didn't run, in case she spilled her glass of champagne.

You're eyes widened as she threw herself at you, breaking yours and Noah's linked arms in order to catch her fall. She reeked of vodka and excess champagne, as you mentally face palmed.

"Sis," you hissed in her ear quietly, "why the hell are you drunk, it's been an hour since it started,"

She pulled away from you, greeting Noah quickly before turning her attention back to you, "Big sis, i'm getting freakin married in a month so I can get drunk at my own engagement party thank you," she slurred before walking back and examining your dress, squealing with delight, "You wore the dress!"

You snickered, trying your hardest to mimic your drunk sisters excitement. "Yes, just for you!"

"I have a guest here how would love to see you in this dress," she said, pointing at it, her eyes wild with excitement.

Your eyes quickly widened as your heart felt as if it had skipped a beat, "Who?"

She covered her hand over her mouth to try and hide her extreme fit of giggles, but failed. "You'll see," she said, before running over to her fiancée.

Plump lips were pressed to your temple before the voice of your boyfriend protruded your thoughts, "I'm just going over to the bar, want anything?"

You shook your head, before giving him a small smile as he walked in the direction of the bar. Anxiety filled your senses as you prayed that the person you were thinking of would not turn up, you didn't think you were ready to face the heartbreak again. Even after years of no contact.

"Elsa?" a deep, familiar voice sounded. Expecting it to be Noah, you spun around on you heel, smile on your face, before your smile quickly faded with the meeting of familiar blue eyes.

Bucky.

"Els," he said breathlessly, his darkened blue eyes widened as if he desired to take in more of your appearance, more of the person he had craved for so long.

You shuddered at your name escaping his mouth, it sounded all too familiar. You cleared your throat as your eyes left his, as if you were looking at him for too long. This can't be real.

"James," you said quietly. You felt as if you weren't emotionally capable to say his nickname 'Bucky' yet. "Who invited you?" you said bluntly.

"Your sister," he said quietly in response, his hands in his suited jacket pockets. Of course she fucking did, you thought. She had always liked Bucky more than Noah.

"It's been so long," Bucky said quietly, his hands brought out from his pant pockets and placed calmly by his side.

You mumbled and nodded in agreement, before a arm snaked around your waist, making you jump slightly.

"Honey," the familiar voice of you boyfriend spoke, before he turned his attention to Bucky standing in front of you. Bucky stood up straighter as he studied the man standing beside you, his expression both shocked and confused.

Your boyfriends eyes left Bucky's slowly before meeting your uneasy expression, "Who's this?"

You inhaled deeply before your eyes quickly flickered over to Bucky, "James, this is Noah, my," you found yourself slightly biting your tongue.

"Boyfriend," you forced out. You watched as Bucky's eyes widened with shock, his jaw clenched as his eyes left yours and set on the man beside you, his grip on your waist not daring to slip.

"Noah, this is James. My-" you began before you were cut off with Bucky's hard statement.

"Ex boyfriend, of 5 years," you rolled your eyes at Bucky's statement at the end. He was trying to manipulate Noah, something he was always good at.

You snapped your eyes over to Bucky, his composure was cool, but you knew him too well to know that he definitely wasn't the exact same on the inside.

"And I was just leaving," he snapped, his anger obvious in his tone. You glared at him in order to calm his jealous fit of rage, and once his eyes met yours, he knew to take it down a notch. "It was nice meeting you, Noah. Be good to her,"

With that, Bucky spun on his heel, not daring to look behind him at the girl he still hopelessly adored.

* * *

You had escaped your mentality by standing out on the deck, the wind cooling your flushed skin and racing mind. You kept reminding yourself that you were going to kill your sister for inviting the one person you never wanted to see ever again, but you also couldn't help yourself to think that a small part of you actually wanted him to be here.

With your confused emotions, you stared out into the city, the lights of the buildings helping you calm your thoughts as the wind picked up, sending goosebumps to rise on your skin to mimic the sensations that the thought of Bucky brought to you.

You cursed him. He had broke your heart, so why were you still thinking about him?

The sound of the deck door slamming shut brought you out of your senses, your body flinching slightly.

"Els!" the sound of Bucky's voice both wanted you to crawl up and hide, and embrace him at the same time. The smell of strong alcohol filled your senses as you turned to face Bucky in disgust.

"You're seriously trying to talk to me when you're drunk?"

"Yeah," he said sadly, his composure slanted slightly as the alcohol weakened his human body, making it slightly harder to hold his metal arm upward. "Me being intoxicated is the only way I can talk to you without emotionally losing it," he said, clearing his throat. As he did this he stumbled backward slightly, before your instincts kicked in as you reached for his torso in a hurry to save him from falling. His eyes met yours once more, before you quickly pulled your eyes from him after helping him up.

"I miss you, you know," he said quietly, "and I might be a tad jealous,"

"What do you mean?" You asked questionably, but you had a feeling of what his answer was going to be.

"I should be here with you, as your boyfriend," he slurred, a small hiccup escaping his plump lips as his breath hitched in his throat. "But no, you're here with that dickhead," he said dramatically as he threw his arm in the direction of where your boyfriend was standing inside. "He looks like a rod got stuck up his ass, the way he's prancing around. Hell, if I didn't care about you so much, I would've punched him right in his perfect teeth,"

"James-" you began.

"Els please, I want you to call me Bucky. I loved it when you called me that,"

I loved it too. You thought.

"You know why we broke up," you began as you composed yourself quite thoroughly. You were quite surprised at how you were handling this situation. "You were the one who called it quits, remember?"

Bucky kept his mouth shut then. He sighed heavily as he propped his elbows on the railing, his hands dangling lazily over the edge. He lifted his head and cast his eyes toward the open city. The lights of the buildings reminded him of the stars, but then he turned to you, and he knew that no matter how long he stargazed, none of them would shine as bright as you, especially on a night like tonight.

He missed you terribly, there was no doubting that.

"I remember it as clear as day," he mumbled, and before you could say anything, he spoke again, "I remember the look on your face as you threw a hairdryer at me,"

You scoffed as you thought of the image yourself, your hand covering your mouth to shade you small giggles. "Sorry about that."

"No, I deserved it," he said, turning towards you. You froze in the midst of his alluring eyes, and you couldn't seem to bring your eyes away. "I never meant those things I said to you that day. I just-" he began, closing his eyes and composing himself, "I thought I would get a grip on my past without you in the picture, but after you left I realised I needed you more than ever,"

He had his head down this time, and it stayed quiet for a while between the two of you. You wanted to say something, you really did. But you were afraid if you opened your mouth, your emotions would get the better of you.

"I had full intentions on marrying you, you know. This would be us if I wasn't such a jackass," he said abruptly. You turned to face him, he spoke again. "And the way you look tonight," he breathed, composing himself yet again, "makes me hate myself even more for letting you slip through my fingers."

His leant over to you and flesh hand cupped the side of your face, his thumb grazing over your cheek as it wiped a lone tear that fell from your eye. You mentally stopped yourself from inhaling his scent, or even leaning into his hand. You couldn't give in, you were in love with you current boyfriend, weren't you?

"Elsa," he breathed, his eyes glassy as his eyes wandered your teared up ones, "I can't explain how sorry I am for hurting you, and I can't deny, no matter how hard I try, that I'm still crazy about you,"

You heart began to race a million miles an hour as he said the words that you have been waiting forever to hear, "I'm still in love with you, Els. Damn it, I was still in love with you when I told you I wasn't, when you walked out. It was the worst decision of my life to let you go, and I'm too much of a stubborn bastard to lose you,"

"Bucky," you whispered, but were cut off with the abrupt meeting of his lips on yours.

Your emotions ran through your body like an electric current, making goosebumps rise on your skin and your hair stand on end. His mouth moved against yours as if it were rehearsed perfectly, as if you never left.

"What the fuck?!" The familiar voice of your current boyfriend brought you back to reality. Noah stood there, his face ghosted with shock and terror as he watched you kiss you ex that you had never spoken of during the time you had been together.

You immediately broke the kiss, tearing your body away from Bucky's. "N-Noah," you breathed.

Noah didn't give you time to explain, as he was already out the door and heading toward the front entrance.

You turned to run toward Noah, but stopped in your tracks. You spun around toward Bucky, and couldn't help but stare at the red lipstick smeared all over his lips.

Anger bubbled inside of you as hot tears ran down your face, "see what you've done?! You've ruined everything!"

Bucky looked at you with confusion, "What do you mean?"

You stormed up to him, "How dare you turn up to my sister's engagement party, get drunk and try to mend out broken relationship?!" Although you were met with the shocked expression on Bucky's face, your anger wouldn't subside.

"You know damn fucking right that I would still be hurt by what you did to me all those years ago, and here you rock up and try to act like a sorry will be okay? And then you kiss me?!"

You backed off, shaking your head in denial as you watched the expression of your former lover darken with sadness. The tears wouldn't stop flowing as you walked closer to the deck door as you opened it. You turned around to face Bucky his head in his hands as his back was now facing towards you, as if he were to eliminate your existence.

"Don't you ever try to talk to me ever again,"

You didn't stick around to see what Bucky would do next, as you flew out the door only to find Noah had left in the car you both came in. Signalling a taxi in frustration, you entered the taxi and began to sob into your hands.

Out on the deck, several pot plants were smashed and there was a new hole in the brick wall, thanks to Bucky's mechanical arm. He then, with his back against the cool brick, slid down the wall and collapsed in a heap, his elbows propped up on his bent legs and his face in his hand.

Ive lost her again, Bucky thought to himself. 

~ 

DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNN, THERES GONNA BE A PART TWOOO FOR THIS ONESHOT (just letting you all know so you don't die of feels).

WHATS GONNA HAPPEN?! Will you get back with Noah? Or mend your rlly bad relationship with Bucky Boo Bear, if you'll take him back????

AND ALL OF YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT MY DARLING buckstan 's BUCKY BARNES ONESHOTS BOOK AND NEW SOCIAL MEDIA BOOK "Ease" CAUSE SHE'S ONLY JUST STARTED AND ITS REALLY FLIPPIN GOOD!!!!

AND 8K WTF?!?!?! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH, YOUS ARE THE REAL MVP! 

(I dont know why most of that was in caps, I'm just in a rlly good mood)

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