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(A/n: Thank you so much for 84k reads, that's amazing! If this book ever hits 90k reads, I will legit lose my mind! Thank you all so much for everything! I hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful Christmas break! 🎄✨💚)

Requested by: @I_Am_The_MULTIFANDOM

Song: "Neurosis" by Oliver Riot
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M/N's P.O.V

He wouldn't speak to me. He wouldn't even look at me. He didn't even say hello to Yoongi when he came to talk to him this morning. Jimin would usually say good morning to Yoongi and that would wake him up, but today, Jimin just stood there next to Yoongi's dorm room while Yoongi threatened to beat up whoever had made him so sad. I knew if Jimin had said something, I would've been dead before I could even blink, but luckily he didn't say anything. But some part of me wished that he did and that maybe Yoongi would've talked to him about the situation and brought back the bubbly and optimistic Jimin that I knew and loved.

He sat there all alone at the lunch table we usually at together. He didn't bother to look at the food that he had in front of him. He barely moved only breathing from time to time as he stared at the glass full of water that sat on his tray. I wanted to go up to him and apologize profoundly, but I knew he wouldn't want to see me right now. It hurt seeing him like that, so sad and lonely. It hurt my heart that had grown to love him as a family. I wanted to say to say we can still be best friends and that this didn't affect anything, but I knew he wouldn't want to talk about it right now. I knew he needed to be alone right now or he'd snap at me if I tried to get close. I wanted to do so many things that would make him feel better. I wanted to make him feel happy again, I wanted him to feel safe and comfortable around me, but I don't think that'll happen anytime soon.

I glanced through my peripheral vision, seeing he still hadn't touched his food. I knew he was hungry, but his sadness had overcome his mind and began to eat away at him.
"Hey, (M/n), is everything alright?" A deep voice asked me, causing me to slip out of my daze. I turned towards him, my eyes widening slightly when I saw who it was.
"Yoongi!" I exclaimed, causing a few people to turn towards us as I jumped up from my seat and hugged him. "I missed you." I wrapped my arms around his neck, happy to see my older best friend who had been away on vacation to visit family. He chuckled, gently patting my back.
"I missed you too, Kid." He stated, letting go of me before looking around as if he was looking for something or someone. "Hey, why is Jimin all alone? Did something happen?" My smile dropped, deepening into a frown.
"He confesses to me and I kindly rejected him, but I understand he wants alone time. I miss him." I whispered, glancing back at Jimin Who stilled sat there, not touching his food. "He hates me, Gi." He sighed, running a hand through his sky blue hair.
"He doesn't hate you, he can't hate anyone." He assured me, his eyes filling with worry as he looked over at Jimin. "I'll go talk to him, stay here, please." I nodded, sitting down only to see I hadn't even touched my food. My stomach didn't feel that hungry, I could only feel the guilt and regret. Maybe I should've been kinder when I turned him down or maybe I should've seen the signs he liked me earlier and told him he would only end up getting hurt by me.

What if's filled my head as I poked at my mash potatoes, which had now gone cold, with a plastic spoon. I didn't feel hungry, plus who wants to eat cold food. I peered over at Jimin and Yoongi, seeing Jimin lightly nodding as a deep frown was still apparent on his face. I hated knowing I was the cause of that frown, I hated hurting people. I wanted everyone to be happy, but it seemed I only caused people closest to me pain and sorrow. Maybe Jimin would be best off without me? He probably would be better off without me, he could make new friends and even possibly find someone one who would love him the way he wanted me to. I knew I liked girls, I didn't see him that way. I wanted to tell him this didn't affect our relationship, I would still love him as a friend, but I knew he would only run away or ignore me. I would understand if he did, I hurt him by not accepting his feelings.

I can remember all the times I made him smile, the times I dyed his hair for him, or the times we would have sleepovers at my dorm room during the weekends, but that was all gone now. I felt it in my gut that it was all gone. Never to come back. I wanted it to come back, but I knew things wouldn't ever be the same. Things didn't work that way, I wish they did, but they don't. I miss my best friend, the one who comforted me when I cried about losing a girlfriend or the one how cheered me up when I was sad or stressed. I wanted my best friend back.