"A Disease..." || Namjoon/RM || « part two »

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(A/n: Thank you so much for 59k reads! I hope you all enjoy and have a wonderful day/night! ☀️🌈💕✨)

Requested by: @i_like_you_a_lot

Song: "Badbye" by RM
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M/N's P.O.V

It had been nearly two weeks since our last encounter; I could tell he was avoiding me. I wasn't stupid, I saw how every time we would pass each other in the halls, he wouldn't respond to my hello or wave back at me. He would quickly turn away and briskly walk the other way. It hurt being ignored, but I guess I've grown used to it by now. It was nothing new to me, people have been ignoring my existent since I was in preschool, nothing new.

Every time we passed each other in the halls, I could feel the flowers tightly wrapping themselves around my lungs; slowly they suffocating me. I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to lose my feelings for him. He was so beautiful, kind, brilliant, and so much more than I couldn't fabricate. He was basically everything I wanted in a significant other, but maybe he wasn't the one I was destined to be with. Maybe I wasn't destined to be with anyone. I was destined to live a short life of solitude and to die of Hanahaki disease, it was all set in stone.

I sighed, rubbing the drowsiness out of my (e/c) eyes as I set my pen down, finishing up writing out the unofficial version of my will since I couldn't afford to get an official one. I was going to die soon, there was no denying that fact. I couldn't say goodbye to my family, they had begun shunning me when they found out I was infected with Hanahaki disease, saying I was stupid for falling in love with someone who'd never love me back. Their words hurt, but it wasn't like I had anyone to talk about it with, I never had a friend before.

I had always alone, ever since I could remember. I was the lonesome kid at lunch, who always sat the farthest from the others and minded their own business. I hated it, I always wanted friends, I wanted to be like everyone else, but my life had always been lonesome. I wasn't a social butterfly or an extrovert, I couldn't talk to people without fearing that I'd scare them away or they'd bully me like so many others had.

But when Namjoon showed up on fourth grade, everything changed. I started to develop a little crush on him which slowly escalated over the years. I couldn't help who I fell for; love was never a choice. I never told anyone about my feelings for Namjoon, I mean who would I tell? I had no friends, for the nineteen years I've been alive; I hadn't made one friend.

I inhaled sharply, feeling the flowers begin to roughly squeeze my lungs, their thorns deeply digging into my lungs.
"Damn..." I mumbled, slowly standing up from my chair before grabbing the envelope that carried the letter I had written to Namjoon. I thought that since I could say my feelings aloud, hopefully, a letter would be better. "I'll have to drop this off at his door, but I forget which room number his is... I hate living in dorms." I walked toward my dark oak door, hesitating to leave the comfort and warmth of my room.

I took a deep breath before walking into the hallway, shutting the door behind me. I began to speed walk down the light gray hallway, trying to avoid all awkward eye-contact with anyone who could possibly be in the hallway. I gazed down at the white tiled floor as I walked towards the end of the hallway where a small list of who the dorm rooms belonged to hung on the wall. I'm glad they put that list up if not, I'd be screwed.

Once I made it to the end of the hall, my eyes quickly began to scan the list, wanting to get this over with, so I could head back to my room.
"Kim Namjoon, room 231." I read the words allowed, my heart fluttering at the mention of his name. "Okay, we can do this," I added, trying to encourage myself. I smiled weakly as my legs moved me down the hall, only then, did I realize, 231 was exactly two rooms away from mine; 233.





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(A/n: Don't worry, there will be a part three! I hope you enjoyed! ☀️✨💛)
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