I was sitting on the sand staring at the waves. As I waited for Namjoon, I thought about the day I confessed to him. I felt so stupid to think it be a good idea to finally tell him my feelings. Of course he has his career to think about but, it can't be like that forever.

I felt a pair of hands cover my eyes.
"Guess who?"
I moved his hands from my face and hugged him. The last time I saw him was two weeks ago. He and the rest of the guys  had to go on a business trip.
"Hey I thought you weren't coming", I said as he sat next to me.
"You kidding? And miss our day? No way", he took off his shoes and let the warm sand invade the space between his toes.
For the past 6 months, Namjoon and I have been coming to the beach ever since I confessed to him. I keep hoping for the day he tells me he wants to be with me. But sometimes we have to sneak around to hang out. I wish it was different.
"So what've you been up to?", he asked.
"Nothing", I said.
"Didn't you say you wanted to go to school in the U.S?", he asked.
"Yea but...not anymore", I said as I played with my fingers.
"Why not?', he asked.
"I think you already know why", I whispered.
"I already told you what would happen if we get together. Our fans don't really like the idea of their idols dating someone. They'll bully you until you break", he said.
"Not all of your fans are like that. And I know you have your career to think about but it's not easy for me to pretend I don't have feelings for you. And I don't like how we have to sneak around to hang out", I said.
"It's the only way we'll be able to hang out alone", he said as he leaned his head on top of mine. His hand was slowly intertwining mine. I stared at our hands for a couple of seconds and pulled my hand back.
"What's wrong?", he asked.
"If we can't be together, then we can't do this. Sneaking around and pretending like we're not close. You say you don't have feelings for me so stop acting like you do. I'm tired of being confused. I should go", I said as I got up. I headed towards my car and drove off. I'm not surprised Namjoon didn't stop me.

As soon as I got home, I cried. I cried until my head started hurting. The guys kept calling me but I wasn't in the mood to talk to them. Namjoon called the most. Even left voicemails and text messages. I fell asleep minutes later. I woke up to loud knocking. I slowly walked towards the door and looked through the peephole. Namjoon. I rolled my eyes and opened the door.
"Namjoon I already told yo-"
I didn't get to finish my sentence since he forced his lips onto mine. I wanted to push him off but I couldn't. His lips tasted so good. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me up. He closed the door with his foot, not breaking the kiss, and carried me to my bedroom. As soon as my back hit the bed, he attacked my body with his lips. I felt his breath slowly go up my leg until he stopped at my inner thigh. His tongue made circles on the same spot he stopped on. I whined at his teasing and put my hand on my core and started playing with myself. He took both of my hands making sure I didn't move.
"Eager are we?", he smirked at me.
"No shit yoda, I've been waiting for months and I can't any longer", I squirmed around to feel his touch. I heard him chuckle and I felt his warm tongue on my core. I arched my back and moaned his name. I wanted to touch him but he held my hands with his. I tried to warn him that I was close but I couldn't speak. He licked off what was left and kissed his way back to my face. I was still high from what happened. He kissed me passionately and slowly put his member in me. I scratched his back, leaving marks behind. I felt like I was being stretched apart.
"Don't close your eyes. I want you to look at me", he said in a deep voice. I opened my eyes and stared into his. I can see in his eyes how sweet and patient he is but I've never seen how sexy he can be when he goes wild. He took both of his hands on my legs and spread them wider so he can go deeper. He kissed me so I would be distracted from the pain. I felt the vibrations of his moans as he kissed me. The room was filled with moans and skin slapping. I blushed from the noise and hid my face as I hugged him. He laughed and nibbled on my ear. He grabbed my hips and increased his speed. The noise of skin slapping got louder. I could tell he was doing that on purpose since he stared at me with a smirk. I felt him twitch as he nibbled on my neck. After we both came and regained our breathing, we stared at each other.
"What was that?", I asked him.
"My confession. I never told I didn't have feelings for you. I just said we couldn't be in a relationship because of ARMY", he said.
"Well after what we just did, what does that make us?", I asked.
"Isn't it obvious?.......we're fuck buddies", he said calmly. I punched him in the arm since he knows I hate relationships like that.
"I'm just kidding. Well I'd really like it if you still want to be my girlfriend", he said.
"Hmm sure whatever", I said. He hugged me and started making love marks on my neck.
"There. Now everyone will know you're mine", he said proudly.
"Let's just hope we don't get in trouble", I said before falling asleep.