I've been sitting in my room for three days now, staring at the same white ceiling and thinking about disappearing forever.

"Becca? Are you awake? Breakfast is ready."

The guys have been trying to get me out of my room. It's not gonna work.

"Becca you need to eat something or you'll get sick", the voice changed from Jimin to Namjoon.

I put a pillow over my head so all I could hear is the emptiness in my heart. I heard the door open and I saw Jimin and Namjoon standing there with a plate of food.

"How'd you get in? I locked it", I said. Jimin showed me a butter knife.
"You need to get out of bed", Namjoon said as he put the tray on my bed.
"No. What you need to do is get out of my room and leave me alone", I didn't sound like myself. It felt like I died and returned as a demon who wants to destroy her life again.
Namjoon and Jimin stepped out and had a conversation about the situation I put myself in.
"Jin really needs to fix this."
"I already talked to him and he said she won't talk to him."
I got up and closed the door so I wouldn't have to hear them. I jumped back into my bed and stared at the pictures that were in my phone. I deleted each picture Jin and I took. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I silently cussed at myself and went back to my bed.

An hour later, I heard a knock on the door.
"Go away!", I yelled. Why can't anybody understand that I want to be by myself?? The door opened and I mentally slapped myself for forgetting to lock the door. My back faced the door and tried to ignore whoever opened it.

"Becca?", I know that voice anywhere. I sat up and looked at him.
"What are you doing here?? I already told you I want nothing from you! Get out!", I said as I threw my pillows at him. He dodged every one of them until I ran out of pillows.
"Please let me explain Becca. I never meant to hurt you", Jin said softly. Usually when we're arguing and he talks to me in his sweet and calming voice, I'd melt into his hands and forget we were even fighting. But this time, I want to take my fists and hit him where it really hurts for making me fall for his tricks.
"Explain what?? You ditched me, your girlfriend, to hang out with some skank who clearly has a thing for you. I waited for you. For hours. And I didn't get one single text from you, at least letting me know where you were. Then I find you sitting on the couch as she sat on your lap while both of you swapped salivas! You didn't even stop her. Did you know how that made me feel? Like I've been played. Sound familiar? Oh yeah because that has already happened to me twice. You told me you would never do that. I guess everyone was right. I'm so damaged and desperate for love that I fall every time someone shows affection towards me. Just leave me alone", I couldn't look at him anymore since the tears in my eyes were disturbing my vision.
"Becca-"
"I said go!", I saw his expression change when I yelled at him to leave. He didn't move a muscle.
"No", he said confidently. I looked at him and was about to say something before he interrupted me.
"I made this mess and I'm trying to clean it up. I love you. And I'm sorry if I hurt you. I do take responsibility. You're right I didn't stop her. I'm so stupid. I had the most amazing girl in my hands and I screwed it up. I understand if you don't want to see me anymore but I just wanted you to know how truly sorry I am. It's been killing me. These past couple of days of not having you in my arms, watching you lock yourself in your room because of what I did has been killing me. I still want you. I'm not like those other guys, I made a mistake and I don't know what to do to get you to trust me again. Please give me another chance?", he begged.

I honestly didn't know what to say. I still love him. But I hate him too. I've known him my whole life and now it feels like he's a stranger.

"I can't", I whispered. I looked at him as I tried to regain myself.
"What you did to me really hurt me. And if I take you back like nothing happened, every time I look at your face, I'm just gonna be reminded of her lips on yours. I don't want that", I said crossing my arms.
"Then what's gonna happen?", he asked sadly.
I can't come back here knowing I'll see his face everyday. And I can't keep hiding in my room.
"I guess I'm gonna have to move out. I think it'll be best for us", I said.
"Is that what you really want?", he asked as he gave me that innocent puppy look.
I always love that look. He use to do that to cheer me up. I nodded slowly answering his question.
"I'm sorry", he said before leaving.

Hours later, Namjoon knocked on the door, interrupting me from my thoughts.
"How you holdin' up?", he asked as he sat down on my bed. I sat up and rubbed my head.
"I feel like my happiness has been sucked out of me", I said.
"That's what happens in relationships. Sometimes things happen and you can't fix them. But if you think there's still hope, you'll make it work", he said. I looked at him and tried to figure out what he means.
"What are you saying?", I asked him.
"You've known Jin for 15 years and you guys have been together for 5 years. Giving up on him that easily doesn't sound like you", he said. Truthfully I'm still madly in love with him.
"He made a mistake and he realized that. He confronted you about it. He's trying to make things better. It's obvious he doesn't want to lose you", he said softly.
"It's not that easy. I'm just gonna be imagining her kissing Jin all the time", I said.
"No one said it was easy. Look, just try to be friends with him again. And until you fully trust him, you can work things out again", he said. I never thought about that. I nodded in agreement.

"Hey you wanted to talk?", Jin asked as he walked into my room.
"Yea", I lightly patted the bed so he could sit down.
"Look, I know it's gonna take a long time for me to trust you. But I'm not ready to lose you. So I feel like it's best if we started out as friends again", I said to him. He didn't say anything he just kept looking at me.
"Uh..yea that's fine with me. So does that mean you're not leaving?", he asked me, sounding a little desperate. I shook my head which lead him to hug me really tight.
"Jin...I can't..breathe", I said as I was being suffocated by his tight embrace. He let go and apologized.
"Look, just promise me not to ever bring up what happened again. That's gonna make it harder for me to trust you", I said.
"Promise", he said as he was patting his chest twice.

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Ok literally staring to run out of ideas. Should I have you guys request something? Idk. I'll think about it.

I deleted the Jimin fan fiction because I didn't really like it. I'll try to improve my writing skills until then enjoy the imagines.

Should I write Exo imagines?