I saw her the other day, she was in the mall with her girlfriends. She was smiling so beautifully just like the day I met her.

I couldn't take my eyes off her, I try to hide but it was too late she saw me.

Her gaze wonders over, without attachment or remorse. In this sliver of time, 

'what went through her mind? '

'Did she think of me?'

I miss her

I still love her

but she didn't, she walked away as if I was a stranger.

LATER

"Joon, I guess you just fell in love with the wrong person," Hoseok says handing him another beer.

"No, man, I didn't love the wrong person. I was the one who made a mistake, which means I was the wrong person for her" I said shaking my head then I chug a glass of beer down.

Hoseok rubs my back in circles trying to comfort me from my heartbreak.

BEFORE BREAKUP

"Namjoon! where did all the money go??" She says frustrated

'oh! uh...well you see.." I say stuttering

"You were gambling again weren't you." She says sternly

"yes.." I say looking down in shame

"Nam Joon, how are we gonna pay the bills and feed our child," she says angrily, " I told you to quit gambling all the time! don't you think about us! our family! I mean hell! at least think about Soo Jin!!"

"I'm sorry.." was I could say, she was crying at the table in frustration

I try to walk up and hug her but she pushes me away; wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"I'm Done, Namjoon, I'm at my breaking point. I cant do this anymore. I love you but I have to go, this won't work out between us"

I try to convince her but she made up her mind, I felt like shit. I was panicking I didn't know what to do. I saw her pack up the bags and was heading out the door.

"What about Soon Jin," I say, I was afraid she was gonna take her that I much rather let her have her than me.

"You're keeping her," she says not looking at me, I can tell it tore her apart saying that. She ran to the car and drove away. I wasn't sure when she was coming back or if she was ever going to come back,

Present

I was stumbling inside my house intoxicated as hell, Hoseok dragged me to the couch paying the babysitter for me and covered me up.

"there you go big brother, I'll come back in the morning to check up on you," He says giving me a weak smile.

I went to sleep, the next morning I feel someone tugging my arm

"Appa..."

"Appa"

I open my eyes barely awake

'huh, oh Soo Jin" I say chuckling, I slowly got up with a headache.

"someone at the door," she says, I nod, I turn the T.V on Friends for her and I walked to the door opening it expecting to see Hobi.

"Eun Rae?"

"It been a long time Namjoon, I'm proud that you kept our little girl safe," she says smiling...

I felt my heart shatter seeing her again, I couldn't help but notice a ring on her hand.

"You're married?" I say looking at her hand, she nods slowly, its been 4 years and 6 months since she was gone.

I finally got help when Eun Rae left, in a way it was probably for the best. She broke my heart so that I can fix myself and take care of Soo Jin.

"she watches friends now," she says laughing

how I miss that laugh

"yeah, she has been picking up a lot of English like I did" I say laughing

"reminds me of us, back when we would sit together and watch Friends as you help learn english," She smiled to her self mournfully, remembering our days together.

"yeah" I breathed out, the air in the room felt tense. "Life is truly strange,you know,  It brings people to carry unnecessary pains but at the end of the trial we face, we find the unexpected happiness we thought we would never find. but Soo Jin was my unexpected happiness, she was the one that made me a better person and father, but I suppose this unnecessary pain had a reason and I'm glad it was you that gave me that pain"

I glance at Eun Rae, she smiled at me with tears in her eyes. she walked by the door and I followed.

"I guess this goodbye," I say awkwardly scratching my head nervously.

" No, I'll be seeing our daughter every other weekend or so," she says smiling. I nodded, opening the door for her.

"goodbye, Nam Joon," she says painfully,

"goodbye, Rae..." I said barely above a whisper, my heart still ached for her.

before I realized what happen she leaned towards me and kiss my lips; they were soft and sweet, the feeling of sadness when we parted lingered.

"I love you," I said without thinking, I saw her eyes widen then soften as she stared into my eyes the last time.

" I loved you," she said, stroking my cheek, a tear escape her eye as she walked away to her car driving away. I stood there watching her figure and car until I couldn't see her anymore.

"APPA!" Soo Jin hollers

"Yes, baby girl?" I say smiling at her weakly,

"I'm hungry," she says pouting her lips,

"let make some pancakes then," I said chuckling, I close the door going in the kitchen.

My heart will never love anyone else but her. For a piece of my heart still with her that I will never have back. but I'm Okay with that; I'm grateful it was her that hurt me in a good way.