I still To this day regret the words I shouted at you.
"GET LOST."
"GO AWAY."
"I DONT NEED YOU."
"TO ME YOU WERE JUST A BET."
I ran away from you, I was scared of being untimely in love with you. I was so cowardly confused on what I felt about you. But what's there not to love.
The was your eyes sparkle when you smile. Or the way your hair lashes around when you run. Or the times we spent at the beach and you would run in the sand because it was hot and I'd watch from afar. All the times we had water fights in the freezing water that never bothered us. The times we couldn't sleep on our backs because we were so burnt.
The times your nose would be so cold it would turn pink and then red. The times I would pull out a joke at dinner while you were eating and your teeth would show slightly as you would chew. After a tiring day spent with you, I would shower and you would pass out on the fold out couch we had rented just for us. It was all about us. Never about someone else.

Then my mother died.
I never told you therefore you stood dumbfounded watching my cry in front of you not telling you what's wrong after all the times I became weak. Coward.
Love is a tricky word Y/N it's a word you can use to express the one time you don't or can't think about anyone else but that person. But I guess I'm in love with you? That feeling spread deep within my soul as I saw you drift off to sleep in my bed every night still knowing I wouldn't sleep beside you.
You loved me and lived for that. But I didn't know how to express my feeling of love to you.
Coward.
After my mother died I just pushed you away not knowing how much help I could get. I pushed and pushed until I just broke it off. Screaming and crying at you as tears just cried down your face. I didn't know what to feel but. I got it all out. All the tears finally falling. The screams coming out as.
"YOU WERE WORTHLESS TO ME!"
Meant as.
"Please don't leave me."

As I sit beside your hospital bed awaiting your awakening, I wrote this letter to you. But please don't leave me Y/N. please wake up. I will love you eternally.

Please don't leave me.