I've been in love before. I was in love when I was in high school. When I fell in love with this person, I didn't seem to see his flaws, I saw him as a perfect human being. I always looked at him from afar, seeing him smile or happy made me happy.

I gained all my courage, and proposed to him. He accepted my feelings and we started to date. I fell in love with him daily over the silly things he always did. But I always doubted if he really loved me? Cuz he never said "I love u" back. One time I asked if he loved me all he said back was "babe what do u think?" Me being naive and blinded by love I forgot what he said cuz the thought right after he said that was 'of course he loves me' and I became happy again.

But one day, all world crashed down at my feet, I saw him with a girl making out, on the school corridor. I didn't even yelled or cried all I asked him (after he stopped eating the girl's face) was 'why?' and he said 'i didn't wanted to reject u' yes that was his reply. I just shaked my head and went back home.

After returning home I just went to bed and cried for maybe an hour, then I was back to normal cuz my best friends decided to call me. I did t know how they sensed I was sad, maybe bestie gets signals when the other is down. So yea, my mood got instantly happy when one of my besties was telling the works of this friend of her she meets at tuitions.

When we all talked about this Love Yourself : Tear, my brain decided to create some songs that happened with my life and held tears In them. And the most tears I had was when he left. I faced him every single day with a smile drawn on my face as if nothing ever happened to me. But he and all the others were so fooled with my fake smile that they didn't saw that I was hurting real bad behind that fake smile. At last, after 1 year I was completely over him, but whenever I do see him my heart hurts and my stomach does a flip. But after I moved to Seoul and auditioned for becoming an singer and.......I was selected and was told I would be on a growing with 7 boys, since I wanted to be part of a group. I got scared at first, cuz 7 guys and 1 girl was kinds a scary.....but after I get to know them and hand out with them......we became a family with the rest of ARMY's. And I haven't looked back since then.

Hence the birth of FAKE LOVE.

After I showed it to the boys, they all got worked up as to who made me feel like this and that. Yea overprotective brotherly stuff. That gets too much to handle when a boy or my feelings is involved. And I can't relate as to who really has brothers like 7 of em....all unique like these monkeys. Cute monkeys. Ok that was cringey. Ewww (y/n) when did u start getting this cringy. Ew Ew Ew.

So here are the lyrics to FAKE LOVE hope u like it (I'm showing u this cuz, ARMY are my life)

If it was for you
I could pretend that I was happy even if I was sad
If it was for you
I could pretend that I was strong even if I was hurt
Wishing that love is perfect as itself
Wishing all my weakness is hidden
In a dream where nothing worked out for me
I raised a flower that couldn't bloom
I raised a flower that's couldn't bloom in a dream that can't come true

I'm so sick of this
Fake Love, Fake Love, Fake Love
I'm so sorry but it's
Fake Love, Fake Love, Fake Love

I wanna be a good man just for you
I gave the world just for you
I changed it all just for you
Now I dunno me, who are you?
A forest of just us, you were not there
I forgot the route that I came along
I became to not know who I even was
I try to talk to the mirror "who are you?"

If it was for you
I could pretend that I was happy even if I was sad
If it was for you
I could pretend that I was strong even if I was hurt
Wishing that love is perfect as itself
Wishing all my weakness is hidden
In a dream where nothing worked out for me
I raised a flower that's couldn't bloom
In a dream that can't come true

Love you so bad, Love you so bad
I craft a beautiful lie for you
Love you so mad, Love you so mad
I erase myself
And try to become your puppet
Love you so bad, Love you so bad
I craft a beautiful lie for you
Love you so mad, Love you so mad
I erase myself
And try to become your puppet

I'm so sick of this
Fake Love, Fake Love, Fake Love
I'm so sorry but it's
Fake Love, Fake Love, Fake Love

Why you sad? I don't know, I don't know
Smile and say that you love me
Look at me who even I myself dumped
Who even you cannot understand
You say that I feel like a stranger
Who changed into 'I' you used to like
You say that I am not
The 'I' you used to know well before
What do you mean by no?
I'm blind for you
How is this love? It's all fake love

(Woo) I dunno, I dunno, I dunno why
(Woo) Even I, even I don't know myself
(Woo) I just know, I just know, I just know why
Cuz its all Fake Love, Fake Love, Fake Love

Love you so bad, Love you so bad
I craft a beautiful lie for you
Love you so mad, Love you so mad
I erase myself
And try to become your puppet
Love you so bad, Love you so bad
I craft a beautiful lie for you
Love you so mad, Love you so mad
I erase myself
And try to become your puppet

I'm so sick of this
Fake Love, Fake Love, Fake Love
I'm so sorry but it's
Fake Love, Fake Love, Fake Love

If it was for you
I could pretend that I was happy even if I was sad
If it was for you
I could pretend that I was strong even if I was hurt
Wishing that love is perfect as itself
Wishing all my weakness is hidden
In a dream where nothing worked out for me
I raised a flower that's couldn't bloom
In a dream that can't come true.

Hope u liked it 💙
~~~

Truth be told this chapter was the most easy for me to write....cuz the story was written based on me...yes my first boyfriend did that.....and we in my neighborhood and not in school....so the pain was more cuz me and him went out to play every evening in the neighbourhoods playground.

But I'm not there anymore so everything's great and awesome.

And today I got bitch slapped by a......................
.
.
.
.
Noodle.

Yes a single Noddle. I was slurping my noodles when one single noodle decided to smack me right on my nose and made a fave on my face with its soup. So yea.

Your boi for bitch slapped today with a single noodle. Man this is so embarrassing but it was fun....cuz when I tried to lick of the soup from my face I decided to reach my nose with my tongue.

And my mom had a meme face of "wtf bruh"

The evening part of today was really funny....the morning not so much....why well it was hot.

Oh another thing.....ive told u earlier that the 10th final exam in India is really life changer cuz it depends on getting jobs in the future ......well your boi and author right here got an 84% marks......and my life at that stage was really bad....cuz my parents were killing each other .....cuz u know why...... we're currently leaving separately.....but they still didn't have a divorce....but my dad's being a bitch and he's being stubborn and wants to divorce my mom as soon as possible.
Turns out.....I asked my dad of he had a girlfriend....turns out....he did.....boi I was so shocked, if it was possible my jaw would have hit the floor, and his girlfriend lived in Mumbai (capital of India) she's (I think) a divorcee herself with a daughter reading in class 7. So yeah.....my life was messed up and I still got an 84%.

But I was really sad when I told my father how much I got.....he didn't say anything about it not even a "congrats".....cuz he thought I would fail this year.....and if we're to fail this year, he would have embarrassed my mom so much she would've been dead from embarrassment.

Another thing....(damn I'm talking to much today) when I was giving g my exams my mom suddenly feel ill.....like she couldn't get up from the bed and sit for a moment.....she had this swellings on all her outside body and inside her body....her eyes swelled so much they closed up....even I couldn't recognise her......after several pusher from me and my mom he called a doctor......who gave such a medicine it made her swellings go worse....it spreaded around her body like wild fire. She would cry and itch every where it was so painful to......my exams went for 9 days and she still didn't recover......well did recover but not fully......so I made a decision and took her to my grandparents house (my mother's side) and to get her checked....after she got checked by a doctor here....she got healthy in 5 days......so we found out my dad was not going her proper medications.....if Ive not bring her here....she probably would be not here with me or maybe in some kind of hospital in coma.....I don't know. Going away with my pet and my mom from my dad's was the best decision I've ever made in my 17yrs of life.

So I'm gonna live this here......thank u for reading this.....but I know that some of u won't....I won't pressure u to read.....just wanted to let this out and let u know.....no matter what is happening in our life....never move from your path to success. Cuz success will bring a smile on your face when u face a hurdle in life.

I love u all....and if u are facing family issues or any issues and want to rant....feel free to DM or say our problems in the comment, I'll be always there for u....you've all became my family.....and I care for u a lot. And do continue to take care of me (by reading my books).

I love u

XOXO
Megan