I meant to post this like a long time ago but I was just looking through my depressed stuff cause oops. I actually have three hecking lemons I want to post but I never finished them and I'm sorry for not posting.

Also it gets better in the end trust me I don't like angst either. thx for reading and sticking around

Pushing through the many small pill bottles in the upper cabinet, you sigh loudly and mutter to yourself.

"He HAS to have antidepressants. It's him..." A huff leaves your lips as you pick up a few bottles and scan the labels.

"Everyone has something more to cope with. It's not just wine..." Deciding to open the adjacent cabinet, you stare at the white tops of more bottles. You spot one with a bit of red on it. Red must mean good in your case. You take the bottle and smile, reading the longed "antidepressant". At this point, you feel this will be the solution to a dark future, to any future. At least for now.

"Danger, warning, siiiiide effects, okay great don't care!!" As soon as you put your hand on the lid to pop it open, the door clicks.

"(Y/N), I'm home." The nearby front door opens and in comes your boyfriend.

"SHHIIII-" You jerk, creating loud rattling as you shove the bottle back into the cabinet, knocking more over in the process. Before you can shut the cabinets, Chuuya walks in.

"cHUUYA! Chuuya Chuuya..." You casually lean against the side of the counter, cursing at the open cabinet doors. Nervously flashing a smile at him, you observe his confused expressions.

"Hey...babe. What are you doing?" He slowly walks in and sets a small bag onto the counter.

"I'm...I'm...GOSH Chuuya I'm on my period! How could you not have known?? I've been searching for painkillers the entire time!" The lie escapes your sour lips.

"Oh you are? I'm sorry about that." He sets a plastic bag down and walks over to you. A reassuring smile forms on his face, making you look away in guilt.

"They're right here, silly~" Chuuya pulls out the small bottle from in front of you. Lifting your head to watch him, you put on a fake smile.

"Oh haha right in front of my face, I knew that!!" Immediately after taking the bottle from him you turn around.

"Do you need anything from me? I'd like to help you if you're hurting or like sad. Hormones yeah?" He tilts his head and reaches out hopefully. You stay where you are, looking down at the bottle. The wrong bottle for you.

"I'm fine." You speak quickly and monotonously.

"I wasn't born yesterday. When a woman says she's fine it means she's not fine." He leans his weight on one foot and tries to examine you as much as he can.

Your grip on the small bottle of pills tightens. Tears well up in your eyes at the single thought of how terrible you've been feeling lately. It's not like the two of you have been through everything together. You have separate pasts the other is mostly unknowing to.

"I'm...f-fine.." Voice cracking under the pressure, you keep your shaky eyes glued to the ground, the pill bottle in your peripheral.

"[Y/N], I know it's more than what you say. Look at me," he urges, stepping closer to your back with a hand outstretched.

"No!!! Stop- don't...touch me." He draws his hand back at your burst before he can touch you.

"You'll feel better telli-" he urges but you interrupt him with another outburst.

"I feel horrible putting this on other people!!!" The hot tears begin to stream down your cheeks. You tap the damp skin and curse. "Fuck I-I need a safe place..to cry.." The last part comes out as a whisper, though still heard.

"Baby, I am your safe place. Let me in." He frowns in concern, knowing you're crying. It doesn't happen often.

"I never cry in front of people, I never need pills for-for depression!!" You drop the useless bottle and burrow your face into your hands. As your hands are lifted, Chuuya fills the gap between you and slides his arms around your waist, securely pulling your back to his chest.

"Mi amour...what is it?" His voice grows softer as you hesitantly lean back against him.

"I don't...deserve this.." Your hands wipe quickly and roughly at your face and eyelids. There's no doubt your cheeks are an ugly splotchy red.

"Yes you do."

"No, Chuuya. The bigger picture. I don't deserve this life. Things couldn't possibly work out...without one thing coming with me." You refer back to your past, as it's been on your mind for quite a while.

"Depression?" He guesses and pulls you closer.

"And the scars, and the anxiety...how am I living like this? It can't be true..not for a person like me." The doubt keeps flooding in, questioning the life you lead.

"You're the sweetest person I know. With an amazing sense of humor~ You cheer me up and make me feel like the happiest man alive with a strong woman like you." His words flow out so naturally, laced with a gentle adoration.

It only causes more tears to fall. You don't respond, only wiping under your nose.

"And it's all true too. You are a very happy person in general, so there's no oddity in you feeling sad sometimes." Giving him a nod, you pull your hands away from your face. He turns your body to face him and you stare straight into his azure eyes.

"I...y-you're right about that."

"Mhm. And I make sure to give you the best life of luxury, because it's what you deserve with me."

"Thank you..." Chuuya hums contently, noticing you smile a tad in thinking of just how well he treats you.

"You don't need any of those pills, dear. I know what you need. We're getting cookies."

"C-cookies?" Your eyes glisten from the past tears now dried. Food sounds amazing now, and especially sweets, they're the best comfort food.

"Cookies...aaaand a kiss," Chuuya cups your cheek and stares into your own eyes, disliked by yourself, but the most beautiful [e/c] to him.

He leans in, tipping your head up the slightest bit as his lips gently press against yours. You deserve this. You deserve the best he has to offer. You deserve...him.

force me to finish those lemons 'v'