Warning: This review is so fucking serious. Blame Heath Ledger's face/movies and Ryan Adams' music. I've been feeling depressed/unwarrantedly nostalgic lately and the combo of the two isn't helping.

Word Count: 2012

Title: Gravity.

Genre: Romance / Teen fiction

Blurb: 'Life was magical but then the night at the bar happened.'

Over the night, all thanks to a silly mistake, Sierra loses everything. Alone and teetering at the edge of insanity, Sierra is in for a lot of heartbreak and agony this Senior year. With each emotional encounter and each heartbreaking moment, the pain gets too much and when there's no way out, she lets go of the cliff she's been hanging from and closes her eyes as she falls into the arms of gravity.

Gravity, that doesn't feel like cold hard ground but a soothing heartbeat and a breathtaking smile.

'Life was dreadful but then the encounter with an abstract boy happened.'

Status: Ongoing

~~

Starting Points: 30

Cover: Not the greatest. In all honesty, since it is stated in the title that I'm obliged to obey, it's horrendous. To other people, it may be cute, endearing, and hey, even intriguing. But in my eyes, it looks like someone slapped text onto a basic Tumblr picture and called it a day. This cover doesn't give anyone a good sense of what this book maybe about...maybe corny hipster kids. That sounds viable. I've clicked on your book before like probably in the summer, and you've changed your cover quite a lot. The best one (to me) was the one with the girl with the hair hanging—you know what I'm talking about. *winks*

-Sorry, bud, but I have to do it. (-2)

Title: Simple. Short. Easy to remember. Not too original, but I won't hold it against you. For now. Let's get this on. No points lost.

Summary: For some reason it is the exact same thing from all the way in July (Jesus, you guys are so fucking patient. Bless your hearts). That's a bit alarming, since summaries should always be evolving. The idea should remain if it's strong enough, but I don't know, maybe it's just me that thinks things can be summarized in numerous ways? I would get bored looking at it.

...Anyway!

-So, the summary isn't good.

-Just so everyone is clear, a summary should be able to give the reader an actual strong plot they should look forward to. A plot with a gripping theme, outlined characters, and obvious conflict. This should all be summarized into a nice combustion to reel in fellow readers. Many of you all fail to do this, and it either irks my soul or depresses me.

-For the mechanics there were few errors, but here are some I caught (note: [ ] means to add and if it's underlined it means to remove):

-'Life was magical[,] but then the night at the bar happened.'

-"... Sierra is in for a lot of heartbreak and agony [her][s]enior year..."

-"With each emotional encounter and [each] heartbreaking moment..."

- "...gets too much [.] [W]hen there's no way out, she lets go of the cliff she [has] been hanging from[.] [Feeling the void surround her as] she falls into the arms of gravity.

- "Gravity[,] that doesn't feel like cold hard ground[,] but a soothing heartbeat[,] a breathtaking smile.

-Anyway, what is bothering me about this summary in particular is the lack of context, content, and really substantial ideas given to the reader. All we're provided with is pretty generic sentences consisting of the same themes that most people expect from teen fiction now. I'm severely underwhelmed, and this either isn't summarizing your story well or there isn't a strong plot underneath this weak summary.

-I suggest going over the gripping themes that your book follows, things that are quintessential to mention about the main characters, and a conflict that will make readers want to read on. The only thing commendable about this summary right now is the quotes used at the beginning and the end. I think it's a nice touch, but that's really it. (-10)

Plot: Right now it looks like tasteless pudding. Hopefully, I do not walk away with the same attitude.

*Crosses fingers*

Opening thoughts:

-So, I'm met with a string of conveniently attractive characters, and one white washed picture of that Indian actress I forget the name of. Amazing. (-3)

-At least Shannon Sossamon is there, but she can't save you. No one can.

*Coughs*

-Any who.

*Passes a chapter consisting only of an unnecessary quote pulled from some other person.*

*Dies a little*

-I'm finally reading the opening line, and my attitude towards this story has not faltered. It seems like we, the readers, are thrown in some club/party scene with people who can't dance on beat. Exciting, but oh so cliché. Anyway, the story is being told in Sierra's (no last name) point of view, and she's getting plastered. Said girl has a boyfriend named Roy who will indefinitely be disposed of because he isn't the main lead and writers love doing this. (3)

-Okay, I'm still alive, but nothing impressive has been thrown at me. Everything is pretty standard. Which I guess can be good, but since nothing redeemable has been presented with an already lackluster introduction, the prologue isn't doing much to help. (-3)

-When the bartender used the word, "cupcake" to refer to Sierra. She uses "word" when it should be "nickname" to address it in her narration. Word is just too broad and vague, and I had to re-read it to understand what word was "cheesy" and "annoying". Being clear early on works best in this case. It's too early on for the readers to know what irks her, so clearing that up is important. (-2)

-Correction: Stretching my [arms] in fatigue...

- Correction: I mutter to myself, tying my hair in a messy bun with my curls framing my face. << This sentence is a fragment. (-1)

-This prologue lacked every single thing a prologue should have. Aside from showing that Sierra is a cheater, I'm left with the same underwhelmed impression I came in with. Yikes. (-1)

Characters:

-Sierra Evans. Nothing much was given in the prologue besides Sierra meeting some impossibly beautiful male lead. In chapter one, we get to see a different side to her. She still isn't appealing to me, but there's more character development there and has at least the idea of a real person beneath all of the unnecessary info-dump disguised as prose. Besides that, what I'm getting from this character is that she was abandoned by her mom, raised by her dad, and seems to be struggling with getting out her mother's negative shadow and everyone's expectations of her. That in itself shows a pretty decent internal conflict. This should have been introduced or mentioned sooner though, because I still don't know what this story's purpose is. (-2)

-Prince charming with "cyan gray eyes". Boring male lead who is pretty, and will be the love interest. Oh, he also ruins everything, apparently. *Looks into the camera*

-Roy. Disposable filler boyfriend.

*Sighs*

*Future me runs in the room*

-Okay, so it turns out everything I've read has been leading up to this pretty nice reveal. Well, the reveal isn't a nice one, but I really love it. What kind of annoys me though is that the summary did a poor, and I mean poor job at showing what this story was going to be about. I would had never picked this book up because of it. Anyway, the transition as a whole does have its faults, but I'll go into that later.

Dialogue:

-I'm wading through a shit ton of prose, so I haven't seen much that can warrant a good opinion from me about it. I feel like I'm watching a teen angst film like Perks of Being a Wallflower.

-That movie was annoying. (-1)

Inconsistencies (if any): Nah. At least not at the moment.

Writing Style:

-It isn't bad, which is a relief. This is actually extremely easy to read, and isn't hard to digest. I think that's a flattering quality to have in all writing. Also, sensory descriptions are something that don't make as much of an appearance as they should.

Likes/Dislikes:

-Okay, so even if I did like it, "the reveal" felt a bit too rushed. After reading some more, I felt like things could have been shown instead of outright saying what happened. When it was being explained, it seemed like an easy cop-out. I think showing the effects of this event on Sierra would have worked a lot smoother, and have a stronger impact on the readers. Right now, I'm a bit shocked, but only because of how it was brought out. I didn't expect it, yeah, but I don't necessarily care all that much. Make the readers care. This also isn't something that can be done in one chapter, so maybe try to trickle it in through numerous chapters and let the readers figure out what happened because of her mistake and the effects it had on her emotionally. I'm sure it isn't the focus in your book, but this seems pretty important to outline.

-Your summary is disrespectful, and it needs to go.

-Your cover is pretty lazy and horrible. Burn it immediately.

-The execution of the prologue can be a lot better.

-There is far too much info-dumping going on in chapter one. Trust me, no one cares about this information being spoon-fed to them. No one will remember any of it in a couple of minutes. (-1)

Grammar/Punctuation issues (if any, or if they're noticeable to me):

-Correction: In those days[;]...

There are a fair amount of times where you're using the semicolon improperly. Love yourself, and google the proper way to do it. (1)

Where you need to improve:

-I think your biggest weakness at the moment is making it clear to your audience what you're writing about from the get-go, keeping that consistent, and proper execution. Don't keep all of the necessary bits to yourself, you have an audience and leaving them in the dark when it isn't (presumably) intended isn't a good thing.

-Learning when and when not to use a semicolon.

-Hiring a cover maker.

-Writing better summaries.

Why/When I stopped reading: You ran out of points a few paragraphs after the second page-break in chapter one.

Gummy Bears or Dust: You get.................................

*Drum rolls*

A CONSTRUCTION WORKER GETTING DUST THROWN IN HIS FACE! YAY!

Before you feel like shit, please know that your story isn't garbage. Not every time a review of mine that ends up with dust means that it was a horrible book. Sometimes, it doesn't even mean I didn't enjoy it. Other cases it means both. My point is getting dust isn't a straight forward answer to the quality of your book, and the same goes for getting gummy bears or being added to the PRL. They are really just variations of bad, eh, and good (I guess). If not, I would be posting the same picture of dust and gummy bears every time. In summary: all of these prizes are ambiguous as the last, and keeps me from giving actual ratings (which I think are whole-heatedly cruel and unfair in a sense) and restraining myself on saying exactly what I thought of your book. I rather be free, and I rather you guess to what that photo really means. This goes to everyone.

So, yes, you technically get dust. Which really means you get no reward, and that's it. I do think you have some thing here...I'm just not sure what it is, where it wants to go, and what it wants to do with itself. That is the key issue, and something should be done about it. I'm not the writer though, so if you think it does than cool. I don't mind either way.

Anyway, good luck on the book!

*Flops away to sob at the movie, Candy*