Word Count: 2083

Title: Forest's Fate

Genre: Adventure

Blurb: Forest used to be an ordinary outdoor cat living on Earth. He thought his only possible problem would be the annoying humans that lived alongside him.

That was until a mysterious black cat kidnapped him and many other Earth cats to a completely different planet called Gardinia. Because of that, Forest is whisked into a war between the Superiors, who are cats with super powers trying to take over the planet, and the rebels attempting to stop them to restore equality.

Forest is forced to fight for the Superiors. The only way back to his home planet is if he helps defeat the rebels with the other Earth cats, despite his growing sympathy for the cats he is supposed to fight. That, or he loses his memory and will remain in Gardinia for the rest of his life as a mindless minion.

That is Forest's fate.

...Or is it?

Status: Ongoing

~

Cover: I expected something much more fantastical and more eye-catching, but I like it. However, I would surf the multimedia threads for people who deal with anime-styled covers because this book just feels like it needs something like that, something much more bright and colorful. That's just my two cents though, but since it does look professional I'll let it live. No points off.

Title: I'm not opposed to it?

Blurb: *Blinks*

-Um. Well, this is new. I can't say that I hate it because it is actually passable, and the language seems a bit too colloquial (though it might be intentional and this isreally a subjective nitpick), but it does seem to say too much. If it's pared down a little it'll be better. Other than that...I'm not opposed to it? *Shrugs*

Plot: Cat on cat crime ft. a never-released issue of an old Guardians of the Galaxy comic? —That, or some weird anime or children's book. Aka: for all Bronies, cat ladies, the crowd that watches cat videos on YouTube for a living, and Deviantart nerds from high school who probably hiss at people in the hallway alike! Amazing. I'm ready to read!

Opening thoughts:

-The start could be better and it isn't horrible either per se, but overall, I don't like how some things are worded...it can be underwhelming.

-Excerpt: As the few stars twinkled in the indigo sky above, countless cats, the only inhabitants of Gardinia other than their prey, were shedding blood on the tall grass and the soil beneath.

-It's stated so blandly and I'm beginning to think the problem is with diction. This scene needs to possess stronger words so the importance of it is fully received by the readers.

-Suggestion: The stars twinkled their faint glow upon the clashing army of cats that covered the vast land of Gardinia. From a Birdseye view, it was a vibrating multicolored blanket that would not tear.

-Okay, there are some crazy ass looking cats and I can't suspend my belief anymore. All I'm imagining is some Neopets-like cats fighting right now and I can't help but feel confused. I'm not sure how to feel about this. Apart from this confusion though, I ain't opposed to it?

-What the fuck.

Overview of the Characters:

-Rainfall, the "rebel" (grey) tabby cat. She is an undercat with no cool powers, but BOLD to a boot, has cute blue eyes for effect, and is queen of being The Cuntiest of Cunts and the leader of the rebels. I'm living!

-Mirage, the white "Superior" cat. Watched Tornado's dumbass die, probably the queen of the Superior cats. A failure! —Sort of, but that's unimportant right now.

-Forest, the main character of this here rodeo. Forest is an ableist outdoor cat (has a indiscriminate hate for "tiny humans", I fucking peeped!) that so happens to like the forest, hence the name. And uh, probably should take classic mugging scenes more seriously. *Shrugs*

-Also, Forest is only capable of two emotions: annoyance and whining, whining is an emotion in this case—I don't care.

-Name, Slenderman cosplaying as a talking black cat aka the Cat Burglar from the planet of cats titled Gardinia, here on Earth for a noble cause! I must be high.

-"Name" is only capable of two emotions: growling and stoicism. Growling is an emotion in this case—I don't care.

Dialogue:

-For what it is, I think it works even though it gets too obvious with the exposition at times, and it's engaging enough. I can buy into it for the most part.

*Is unsettled*

-Update: never mind. The entire scene between Name and Forest is so rushed because it clearly wants to get to the scenes that take place in Gardinia that it fails to build ANY type of tension or stakes. It's a foolish mess man. I feel like I'm reading Salem Saberhagen from "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" try to coerce another cat to get inside a bag for "research purposes". This would be funny with proper execution, yes, but I'm not sure what angle the author is trying to take. So, uh... *blinks*

Grammar/Structural issues:

-I haven't seen too many mistakes, I don't think? At least nothing annoying enough that interrupted my reading experience.

Inconsistencies:

-I'm finding this entire battle scene to be cute rather than feeling any type of tension, but I can't tell if this is intentional?! Update: I spoke too soon.

-I'm far too interested in this battle than I previously expected.

-The way that Mirage positions herself in middle of the war and kind of skims over the medium-sized cats that try to attack her is confusing and vague. I'm not sure how she defeated or deflected their attacks. I get that she is a powerful cat, but we the audience aren't aware of all the powers she possesses so it only muddles things. Does she have some sort of force field we don't know of? Does her fur slice those heauxes up? Be specific!

-I am confusion. Do these cats walk on their hind legs; do they look like weird anthropomorphic human-animal hybrids? If not, why did this fool called "Ice" just stand up? Yes, I might be ridiculous for making a big whoop about this for a story with cats with wings that can throw Yu-Gi-Oh! fireballs, but I will believe a cat with wings before one who sits normally by a tree then just so happens to stand up! Cats don't do that shit! (Note: I know cats can use their hind legs and stand but what I'm referring to reads super human-like.)

-Excerpt: For a little bit of effect, I curse out loud for that darn baby human as I look around.

-Please, someone, anyone, try to tell me what this sentence is saying. To what "effect" is this cursing...achieving (is that the right question here)? Why are they doing that specifically "for" the human baby out in the woods? Where the baby can't hear or understand them? Is Forest, you know, *gulps* alright?

-Anyway, Forest, shows pretty quickly that they are an idiot. And by "idiot", I'm of course being fair and talking in cat-terms of idiocy. In chapter one, they (by the way, I don't know if Forest has a gender so they it is) encounter a "newcomer" (who just stands behind them before saying "hello") in the nearby woods and are obviously there to murder, or something in that realm. Anyway, Forest's first instinct is to ask this person for their name instead of bolting like a normal cat and proceeds to laugh at their obvious serial killer pseudonym, Name. My point is, Forest has his impending murder or "catnap" coming and I'll passively read it I guess.

-This type of commentary only really works as an internal one before or while running away. It only seems to be there to stall the time that it's simultaneously rushing along.

Likes/Dislikes:

-I am rooting for the rebel cats, but Tornado's death made me sad a little because he died as a mouse. He didn't stand a chance. Poor mouse. :(((

-Mirage staring at her dead lover while being surrounded by a battlefield full of enemies and zero defenses up is probably the funniest and best part of the prologue. All I imagined is some vague meme and...it got me pretty good.

-The prose does a decent job in convincing the audience that we probably aren't in the perspective of a human. However, sometimes I feel like I'm reading those memes tailor-made for the white moms/aunts of Facebook.

-This idea is pretty...eccentric and it could work if the author fully embraced its absurdness and grasped some sense of purpose, rather solely than "I wanna write about cats".

-Forest is an incredibly annoying narrator that gets old to follow around after the 5000th exclamation.

-There are issues with the tone where it's a bit muddy on what the direction the author is trying to go with this idea, and it makes for an alienating experience for the reader that can potentially pull them out of the book. I don't know who this book is for, therefore, I don't know exactly what information to provide that can help refine the author's intention.

-All of the characters are pretty one note? They're cute and kind of entertaining to read do things, but that's about it really. Everything can't be relied on their "anthropomorphic cuteness". The audience still needs to be in an active give and take relationship with the characters that are presented. (I've provided an external link below regarding this.)

-I'm not sure if the author is telling the readers' to side with the obvious bad guys here, or the fascists cucks that are the Superiors by taking on their POV instead of the oppressed group, but if they are...ehhh. That can be troubling since the clear allusions to various real-life cases that have happened in history and are still happening today can make this a little, um, careless at best and dangerous at worst—to put it lightly. Yeah, sure, anyone deciding to take a cat-filled story seriously might need to get over their selves and it might be too early to say, but using animals for allegories is not uncommon territory in the entertainment medium. Just remember to be mindful for what the subtext may be accidentally or incidentally saying. Do not let the story control itself. That's what poor planning leads to.

-The worse thing about this is that I'm left wanting. 

My Takeaway:

-A better way to tackle a premise dealing with nonhuman characters like this is to write it in subjective-limited third person. I don't know, I feel like it would make this a lot more easy to ground in some believable reality (if the author wants to write this for audiences older then ten), and potentially even amp up the humor in surrounding the plot around a bunch of kidnapped cats and fantasy ones—just an idea though.

-But, I think I've figured it out! This book may be targeted to Furries?! I'm kidding. There's no smut (but I do sense that strange sexual tension that starts at every love/hate relationship in any fanfic about anything between Forest and Name and I have given up), so I still don't know whom this is really for.

-With that said, I still don't really know what to say about this book other than: "????". I've got nothing of worth to note or really drag to hell about. Wow. M has been defeated, I think.

Why/When I stopped reading:Two months ago because I had writers block for this since I never reviewed an animal-based story and it proved to be a trip. I kind of forgot to take off points during my perpetual state of "mixed feelings" during that period, so that's my excuse for this obligatory point subtraction. Anyway, I read up to the middle of chapter two before finally calling it a night.

(-30)

Gummy Bears or Dust: You get.......................

*Drum rolls*

Black Forest gummies! These truly taste good as hell. Feel blessed.

SIKE!

-I had both of these planned out before I even read the book and I just wanted to show you what you missed out on.

Reality:

A cat with a dust bunny. I was waiting for a special occasion to use this.