Bokuto sighed, walking back into Akaashi's room. "How're you feeling?" 

"I want to kill myself." 

Bokuto paused. "That's a joke, right?" 

"Sure." 

"Keiji." He laid down next to him. "That's not on the planner for this week." 

Akaashi turned on the light next to his bed. "I need help breathing now. They gave me a cannula and it itches and the port is sore from being touched for tubes and needles. My hair is falling out. I'm so fucking done Kotarou." 

Bokuto turned the light off. "And you've turned into a pessimist." 

"I have cancer! I have the right to be upset!" 

Bokuto hummed. "Did I ever tell you about the time that I almost fell off a cliff?" 

Akaashi shifted. "No…" 

"It happened. It scared me to death." Bokuto rubbed Akaashi's cheek. "Kuroo and I were hiking and got into a bit of a fight. I don't deal well with yelling and sat on the guard rail because I needed to calm down. Kenma came up to me and since he is with Kuroo I got scared and nearly fell." 

"And?" 

"I dunno. Just kinda felt of telling you. I have tons of weird stories." Bokuto laughed. "This is so not helping." 

"Mm…" Akaashi huddled up to him, carefully as possible. "Can I hear some?" 

"Of course you can." Bokuto started on more stories, holding Akaashi close. His skin was a bit cold but that was likely because of the window and the medicines. 

Akaashi was fast asleep soon enough, holding on and peaceful. Bokuto stopped from running his fingers through his hair like usual, not wanting to cause more damage. Akaashi was so attached to his physical image and that was okay. If he would be okay with it eventually that would be okay. 

Bokuto did hold his hand, something the younger male loved. Hand holding made him so happy even if he didn't show it on his face.

Akaashi shifted, huddling up under Bokuto's chin and relaxing. That used to be his favorite spot to put his head on when he slept. It didn't matter the setting, he would find a way to huddle into Bokuto's lap or side, head just under Bokuto's chin. He would lay for hours, comfortable. 

"Keiji I'm- are you fucking kidding me?" 

Bokuto looked up. Ren was standing in the doorway. "Hey." 

"Why do I keep finding you and him being all buddy-buddy?" Ren entered the room, turning on the main light. 

Akaashi squirmed for a moment before Bokuto covered his eyes. "He said you've refused to lay with him so I took up that job. You should pay more attention to him. He misses being around you and you barely have the decency to come to visit." 

"You need to stop meddling." Ren plopped down. "Keiji!" He kicked the other male's bottom. 

Akaashi jolted awake. His hand went to his lower back as he gulped. Bokuto sat up. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" 

"I need to talk to him shut the fuck up." Ren leaned over. "Keiji." 

Akaashi started to cry. "I got an extraction today and it's still sore." 

Bokuto grabbed the bowl he usually threw up into. Akaashi pushed it away. "Hey, hey, hey." 

Akaashi turned to Ren. "Why can't you leave me the hell alone for five minutes?! I'm hurt! I'm sick! You had no right to- to…" Akaashi shrunk back as Ren stood. 

Bokuto got up, keeping his hand on Akaashi's shoulder. "Are you trying to start something with him right now? In front of me?" 

Ren crossed his arms. "I'm setting him straight. No one talks to me like that." 

Akaashi put a hand up, on Ren's arm. "Hey… Stop." He brushed of Bokuto's hand. Anything to calm Ren down. Akaashi let go, seeing the look of disgust. He didn't feel good, in fact, he felt fuzzy and nauseous. Bokuto noticed him start to fade out. He put his hand behind Akaashi's head, supporting it as he laid him down. 

"How about we relax? Keiji?" Akaashi trembled a bit. "Great. He's seizing." 

Ren uncrossed his arms. He hurried into the hall, returning with nurses. Akaashi got through the seizure and couldn't stay awake for long after, his body giving up at this point. Ren stayed, holding his hand. 

Bokuto had felt the last push he was going to feel from Akaashi. If he wanted to push away the only safety he had a chance of keeping then so be it. Bokuto would let him learn his lesson. 

****

Akaashi looked around, confused. "Ko…" He rubbed his eyes. 

"It's Ren." 

Akaashi looked over, taking deep breaths. "Oh, the cannula is gone." 

Ren got up, kissing his forehead. "You get to go home today."  

Akaashi smiled. He kissed Ren before sitting up. "Help me up." 

Ren helped him to his feet. "You're shaking. Jesus." 

Akaashi glanced to where the roses had been. "Where'd the flowers go?" 

"They started wilting so I tossed them out." Ren grabbed his bag. 

"Oh..." 

"What is it? They're just flowers." 

"They were so pretty though. I really like roses." 

"I'll buy you some roses later. Come on, we need to get home before Oda starts asking where you are." 

Akaashi shuffled a bit, not sure as to what he was supposed to do. His mind was jumbled and he felt sticky. "Honey, wait." 

Ren looked up. "Mm?" 

"I need help. I'm... I'm really confused." 

Ren helped him into his jacket. "Got it." He smiled. "You have been asleep most of the time and they finally cleared you to go home and rest for a bit before the last treatment." 

Akaashi faltered. "Go home? I can't go home. I still don't feel good." He held onto the bed. 

"They gave me the papers to sign since you were asleep. I've got you, baby." He led him to the lobby. On the way down nurses gave worried stares. 

"Why are they looking at me?" Akaashi whispered. 

"I mean you do have a little bald spot right here." Ren poked his head. 

Akaashi'e heart dropped. "Oh."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You're just paranoid." 

Akaashi clung to Ren's hand. Akaashi hadn't been paranoid of anything while in treatment. But maybe that was his mind trying to calm him. Maybe Ren was right.