You say that I'm useless, a disappointment, and ugly; I say I am intelligent, independent, and beautiful; you insist you'll change; you blame your rotten father; you dig up excuses one after another; you throw things and yell things and hit things and break things; on the other side you put on a face; you paint it on layer by layer; I'm insane; I'm crazy; you tell them you'll help me; you say it will cure me; you say that I need you; YOU DID; I CAN BE BETTER; the truth is you can't; it's instinct; it's genetic; it's this drink or that drug; it's artificial actualities and superficial sincerities; it's my hair or my clothes or my face or my shoes; it's my words or my tone or my thoughts or my truths; the end is not near; our beginning is the ending; you were never mine and I will never be yours; I feel the bruises and bones and hearts of stone; you never did care for my lonely broken soul; you say that I'm nothing; you say I'm forgotten; you say that I'm simply just taking up space; you throw things and yell things and hit things and break things; I'm porcelain; I'm glass; I'm hearts and I'm trust; this day is today and that day is tomorrow, but what do you call the day when you're simply hollow; the truth is that I never needed you; you only needed me; the satisfaction was yours; the pleasure was yours; the strength was yours; the glory was yours; the need was yours; the world was yours; what is it like when your soul never whispers; the thoughts were mine; the actions never came; I could never have the strength; what is it like when your heart never cries; you could never say; you made me that way; what is a world with simply one less plain soul; what is a world with simply one less cruel fist; who is a girl with the power of a woman; who is the man with the control of a boy; you were never mine and I will never be yours; the control is mine; the power is mine; this merciless fist is mine; this soul is mine; you say I'm insignificant and hopeless, but surely if your mirror weren't cracked, and your heart weren't stale, you'd see that I was never the lonely, broken soul; he said you were useless, a disappointment, and crazy; he broke you, shattered you, tore you, and shredded you; he claimed you were nothing, forgotten, and only a waste of his space; he deemed you hopeless; he deemed you a nut case; truly I'm sorry; I know the cuts and the stabs you feel; you tormented me just as he had corrupted you day by day; you are more than he says but never as you had promised; never have you changed; never have you willed yourself to be better; you led me to be crushed and cut and thrown and broken; I had become the wild mustang, succumbed to the whip; you showed me I was the dirt, when truly I'm the sun; I know; I'm sorry; I'll do it right this time; but you won't and you can't; you were never mine and I will never be yours; time is up; your chances are spent; learn here that consequences find those who are weak; don't come back; don't follow me; don't beg me; don't need me; what is it you always told me; keep your head down and be quiet; don't replace me or try me; don't test me; don't bug me; once I was a broken girl, but then you ruined me; for that I won't execute vengeance on you; don't celebrate so fast; my fractured soul will find solace by my father's side; your merciless fist will lay unused and forgotten just as he said you would be; he was right to call you crazy; just don't believe his voice when it echoes you're hopeless; there is no we and there never will be; better luck next time; I'll see you on the other side; could you only image who we'd be if only you'd only ever paid attention to me?

Hey guys!!! Here's a new one for ya! Let me know what you think. Feel free to ask questions if you're confused or just curious about anything. Hope you liked this one!!

Enjoy lovelies!!
~Lulily

02/20/19

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