On August 10th, the next Saturday, I was in the hotel room, getting ready to film with Connor. I was so excited. I had really gotten to know Connor on the tour, and he became a closer friend over the two months we've spent together, along with the other boys.

"Hello my beautiful fans. This is Eleanor Valentine here with a new video!" I exclaimed.

"And I'm Connor Franta!"

"It's Connor fucking Franta!"

"Speaking of fucking, we're playing marry, fuck, kill!"

"Oh my god.. 'Speaking of fucking'" we both laughed our heads off at that.

"But, I asked you to send me in celebrities or objects or animals. I've picked out fourteen random celebrities, two objects, and two animals. We will pick them at random and choose what we'll do to them," I announced.

"Can I do the honors of picking the first ones?" Connor asked.

I handed him the bowl full of folded papers. He picked three out and we looked at them.

"So.. We have: Lady Gaga, a Lemur, and Justin Bieber," I laughed.

"I would fuck Lady Gaga. I think that would be fun.." He told me.

I laughed, "you've got to admit, Justin Bieber is pretty hot." (A/N: I thought the same in 2013 so..)

"So you'd fuck him?"

"I guess."

"I think I'd kill Justin, fuck the lemur, and marry Lady Gaga."

"I thought you wanted to fuck Lady Gaga."

"If I marry her, I can fuck her. Plus, I want to fuck the lemur. It would be weird if I married it."

"Well I'd kill Lady Gaga, and fuck Justin Bieber, but marry the lemur."

"Nice. You can pick the next ones."

"Okay," I grabbed the bowl and took three out.

"Well we have Luke Hemmings, Beyoncé, and Jennifer Lawrence.." Connor looked at the papers.

"Obviously I'd marry Luke," I smiled, "and I think I'd fuck Beyoncé and kill Jennifer.."

"You wouldn't fuck Luke?"

"No. I'd marry Luke.. I could fuck him if I marry him."

"You could fuck him even if you don't marry him."

"Connor, you know that Luke watches my videos.. So does his parents and my mum.."

"Oh shit," his eyes widened, but he laughed.

"I don't have to put that part in."

"I don't care if you do or not."

"What would you do, though, Connor?"

"I'd fuck Jennifer, marry Beyoncé and kill Luke." I slapped him. He laughed.

"You won't kill my Lukey."

"Do you want me to marry him or fuck him instead?"

"No."

"Then I kill him."

"There should be a 'become friends with' option. That would be better than kill."

"I like that it's kill, though."

"Whatever. Just pick the next bunch."

"Um.. Selena Gomez, Connor Franta, Zac Efron."

"Wow."

"Weird bunch."

"It is.."

"You know how they say everyone wants to fuck themselves?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'd fuck myself, marry Selena Gomez, and kill Zac."

"You can't kill Zac! I'm marrying Zac, killing Selena, and fucking you."

"Whoa.."

"I can't kill you because you're my friend.. And I had already picked to marry Zac, so it was the only option."

We both laughed, "okay."

I picked the next bunch, "a duck, Mila Kunis, and Harry Styles."

"Oh, I'm fucking a duck!"

"Well I guess I'd fuck the duck too, because I'd kill Mila and marry Harry."

"I'd kill Harry and marry Mila."

"Really? You're killing Harry fucking Styles?"

"It's the only option. I mean, have you seen Mila Kunis?"

"Fine."

"I think she'd make a pretty good wife too." He told me, and I shrugged, handing him the bowl again.

"This time, we have a glow stick, a sock, and Eleanor Valentine," he announced.

"I'd fuck myself, like you said earlier. I guess I'd marry the sock and kill the glow stick."

"If you kill the glow stick, you'll get glowy stuff everywhere!"

"Okay. I'd kill the sock, however you'd do that, and marry the glow stick."

"I think I'd pick the same as you. I couldn't kill you or the glow stick, so I'd kill the sock. I would want to be a creep and fuck a glow stick, so I'd marry the glow stick and fuck you."

"Makes sense."

"And what are our last three?"

"We have Prince Harry, Channing Tatum, and Ricky Dillon."

"I'd marry Channing Tatum, I guess. I'd fuck Prince Harry and kill Ricky."

"You can't kill Ricky!"

"It's either that or Prince Harry because we all know you can't kill Channing Tatum."

"I know! Have you seen Magic Mike?"

"No.. I don't think I want to."

"It's awesome."

"Okay, but like I was saying, if you kill a Prince, that's really bad. No one cares if you kill a Ricky."

"Well I'd kill Prince Harry. I don't care if it's bad. Then, I'd fuck Channing Tatum and marry Ricky since he's my best friend."

"This has been weird."

"Yeah. We found out I would marry a lemur, Luke, Zac Efron, Harry Styles, a glow stick, and Ricky. I would fuck Justin Bieber, Beyoncé, you, a duck, myself, and Channing Tatum. Then I'd kill Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lawrence, Selena Gomez, Mila Kunis, a sock, and Prince Harry."

"And I would marry Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, Selena, Mila Kunis, a glow stick, and Channing Tatum. I would fuck a lemur, Jennifer Lawrence, myself, a duck, you, and Prince Harry. And I would kill Justin Bieber, Luke, Zac Efron, Harry Styles, a sock, and a Ricky."

"A Ricky?"

"Yeah, a Ricky. It's an object," he told me like it was obvious. I laughed.

"And we also found out that you would like to fuck animals."

"You'd fuck the duck too."

"I chose that because I had to. You wanted to fuck the duck."

He laughed, "I did.."

"But I guess that's the end of his week's video. I'll see you guys.. Next week-"

"Wait! Do you want to try my outro?"

"Sure."

He started rambling, "okay, so today we playedmarryfuckkilland wefoundoutthat iwouldfuckalotofanimalsandthatwewouldfuckeachotherand.. Bye!"

~

Hello guys! I don't do authors notes much anymore:(

But just in case you couldn't make it out, he said, "okay, so today we played marry fuck kill and we found out that I would fuck a lot of animals and that we would fuck each other and.. Bye!"

Btw Connor's outro is literally my life bc bitch it's just perfection. But so is Connor fuckin Joel fuckin Franta

-Lizzie xx