"Alright, that's enough for now," Agatha declares, looking at her watch. "Great job on the strategy simulations--your scores are incredible."

"Finally," I exhale, pushing my chair out from the table. "I was beginning to think I would be doing that for the rest of eternity..."

"Ah, the eternity between 2:30 and 4:00. Such an infinite amount of time," Agatha agrees, rolling her eyes with a smile.

"When you think about it, it actually is," I point out, swiveling around towards her. "All of those seconds broken into milliseconds and so on. It's its own version of infinity. Everything depends on how fast you can process the passing time--if you could think quickly enough, you could live an entire lifetime in five minutes." The sentence makes me think of Shadow, but I boot him out of my mind before I become annoyed, resuming my smile.

"I never thought about it that way," she laughs, "but, then, you do that to me a lot."

"Do what?" I ask, thankful for the puzzled feeling that drowns the last dregs of my irked temper.

"You change the way I think about the simplest things. I never used to think of the production necessary for a paperclip or how amazing it is to eat food from all over Mobius, but you pointed it out right away. I grew up with all sorts of incredible things, yet they all became ubiquitous. It's just cool, when you remind me of the amazingness of everyday life."

"Ah, well, there must be a toilsome metal refining process for a clip, and I found it impressive," I reply, a little at a loss. I think Agatha just complimented me, but, unlike usual, I am not entirely sure how to respond to it. Do I say, 'Why, yes, my powers of observation are quite developed' or 'Well, I am naturally curious'? I do not know how to react, so I default and go for a bland answer, in order not to seem arrogant by commending myself.

Since when have I worried about appearing arrogant to a human? I ask myself, suddenly taken aback. Where did that come from? My eyes are blank, my face blanched even more than usual, at the thought, which steals all of my attention for my internal crisis. When did I stop thinking that I was inherently better than everyone on this planet?

For a moment, I feel conflicted by the question. On one hand, I feel guilty for having lost my original mindset, like I am forgetting my upbringing. On the other, however, I have been rather happy here, a feeling of contentment present that I had never known, even at home on the comet. For once, I have not had to worry about survival or live up to anyone's expectations, and it has been great. I feel like I have finally, finally had a chance to be myself, maybe even more so than ever before.

The idea scares me.

"Well, I am the Ultimate Alien. It's no surprise I would think about such things more than mortals," I add, suddenly sure I need to reassert myself.

"Er..." Aga--Captain Topaz, I tell myself, chastising myself for becoming so close with a human--begins, trailing off. It both worries and reassures me that I remain completely unconvinced to call her anything other than I have been. Before I can wonder at my strange behaviour, though, I notice her very, very confused face.

"..." I stare at her, suddenly apprehensive.

What did I say that in reply to? I wasn't listening at all...

"..." She stares back, face completely frozen in her 'what in Chaos' expression.

"..." I open my mouth to ask, think better of it, and close it slowly.

Whatever I implied, it was either very badly timed or very out of context. But, which one? For a moment, she remains stock still, just looking at me. Then, her lips purse themselves quickly before rolling between her teeth, mouth tense. Oh no, I think, not knowing what that expression conveys.

"Pfft," she suddenly snorts, and, before I can even be concerned, bursts out laughing harder than I have ever heard. "Bwahahaha! Hahaha!" I watch, shocked, as she doubles over, grabbing her stomach. "Hyuhyuhyuhyu!" I jump up at the odd sounds she is making, never having heard anything like them. "Heeheehee!"

"A-Agatha, are you alright?" I exclaim, alarmed, reaching out but not touching her. "Are you okay?!" Upon seeing my face, she laughs even harder, chest convulsing greatly but less and less sound coming out.

"Heeheehee... I can't breathe," she chokes, and my skin prickles.

"You can't--!!" Frantic, I search around for a person, not knowing what to do. "You're asphyxiating?! H-Hold on! I'll find someone!"

"Wait," she gasps out, and I stop mid stride, already running for the door. "It's fine. La... Laughing too hard."

"What?" I ask, baffled, completely at a loss.

"Haha... Sorry, sorry," she says breathily, wiping a tear from her cheek. When did she start crying? I immediately feel guilty. "It's fine. Just... That was the funniest thing I've heard in months."

"What?" I question again, just becoming more confused.

"I... Hehe. You looked down, so, to cheer you up, I was joking about how Andrews is always so dirty-minded, thinking about things in the most inappropriate way. I asked if you'd ever known anyone like that. Then, you... Hehe, you said that you think about those things a lot more than mortals... And I just couldn't help finding it hilarious. Were you even listening?"

"Er, no, I wasn't. But, what do you mean?" I ask, still not understanding why this is funny.

"Oh, uh, I'm not sure how else to put this... Er..." She says, seeming stumped. "Do you know about Mobian reproduction methods?"

"Of course. That's how Shadow and I reproduce," I reply.

"Well, when someone's 'dirty-minded,' they interpret otherwise innocent statements to be pertaining to, well, that." She rolls her eyes, then smiles widely. "And I know you didn't intend to, but your response was perfect. I can hardly remember laughing that hard before."

"That's a relief," I sigh, relaxing. "I thought I said that at the worst possible time or something."

"More like the best possible time," she jokes, snorting again. "Oh, man, I'm going to be laughing about that for days. It'll go down in history, once I tell Rouge. She'll tease you about that for years."

"Rouge?"

"Rouge the Bat, captain of Team Dark." The words awaken the memories, and I recall the white bat.

"Oh," I say, cutting myself off there. I can tell that Agatha is fond of the bat, and I do not want to offend her after such a near miss just moments ago.

"You know, I just realized something."

"Eh?" I ask, snapping my attention back to my still-grinning guard. Losing focus again--you would think I would have learned that lesson.

"You called me Agatha. No one's called me that in years."

"Do you not want me to?" I query, unable to read her emotions on the subject.

"No, no, it's not that. It's just..." She trails off for a moment, searching for the right words. "Everyone always teased me about my name in school, so I started going by my last name. 'Agatha' is a bit of a fairy tale name, the one reserved for an ugly witch or old hag, but you couldn't possibly know that. You may be the first person who's called me that without meaning anything by it, besides maybe Commander Tower."

"No one calls you that?" I ask, genuinely shocked. "I just liked it better than 'Topaz,' like how I like 'Ayers' better than 'Gina.' I have no idea how to properly think of people, and I thought it was nicer, so I chose it."

"Really?" She asks, and I get the feeling she really does care about the answer.

"Yes, of course," I reply, sincere. "I may do a lot of things, but I have never lied. Why would I?"

"I don't suppose you would. I'm just...surprised. Surprised, and a little touched. I never thought of Agatha as being a nice name; I always thought it was as ugly as the characters it usually graces."

"Of course it is," I argue, determined to make up for what, I do not know, but determined all the same. "It has a rhythm to it. AH-guh-thuh. Like a war drum."

"Haha!" She laughs again, but she contains it this time. "That's creative. But, thank you, really." When she looks at me again, those lavender eyes have a sparkle in them, one that was there before but has grown considerably. "I'd forgotten that was ever even my name. I only ever mentioned it when introducing myself, and it was just automatic."

"You don't have to thank me for telling you what I think," I reply, nevertheless pleased by how appreciative she is.

"I don't have to, but I want to. So, take it," she grins playfully, hands on her hips. "Thank you for being the first person to tell me my name was something positive, even if you didn't know. Especially because you didn't know, actually. It's never the same when people go out of their way to console you."

"Well, you are welcome, Captain Agatha Topaz," I nod, smiling. It occurs to me that I forgot during this whole shenanigan that I was worried about becoming close to a human, but the thought seems easily dismissed now.

Why should I feel guilty for having a relationship that makes me happy? I ask myself, finally acknowledging the fact I had been unconsciously trying to hide this whole time. I want to be friends, and the only thing stopping me is this arbitrary sense of what I should and should not do. And what does that matter? I am the last member of my race--I get to make the rules. Feeling far more secure in my actions, I grin, chuckling, eventually laughing right along with Agatha.

For awhile, we just talk. Simple, everyday things that nevertheless feel incredibly important. My opinions of the scientists I have met so far, Agatha's conversations at lunch, the mysterious shirt in the 3rd Chaos laboratory that does not seem to belong to anyone. Everything is hilarious, and I keep losing hold on my humor, dropping into my quirky 'ruh-ruh' guffaw out of pure loss of self-control. My laugh sounds so funny to Agatha that she laughs even harder, which does not help either of us to regain composure. But, for once, I do not care how I look or what someone would think walking in on this. What use is a facade when I am comfortable?

Eventually, enough time passes that we have to get moving on with our day, but, if I could, I would choose to remain. I have never laughed so much, so genuinely. I had not been aware that humor is contagious, but, apparently, it is, because I could not stop wheezing with laughter, not matter how stupid the joke.

It occurs to me as we head to our next appointment that this day has actually been fun, a first for me. My days on the comet were fun sometimes, but I had enough things to train and prepare for that I always had some stress intermingled with the happiness. This place, though, has been taking care of me instead of pressuring me, and I am finding I quite enjoy it.

But, all good things come to an end, and we soon have to continue our day.

"Hello, Topaz, Eclipse," Ayers greets us as we arrive for the scheduled appointment. "Unfortunately, I have some Chaos measurers to set up, so you'll be working with Dr. Calvin." I follow her gaze to the door and feel my energy drain out.

Oh, no. That's the same listless man I got stuck with my first day here, I groan, barely keeping myself from complaining verbally. Ayers moves to leave, and I suddenly want to keep her here as long as possible, to delay interacting with the apathetic human.

"Chaos measurers?" I ask, fumbling for a way to make it into a better question. "Why?"

"Well, by measuring how fast you process Chaos Energy, we can form a rough estimate of several things. Your endurance, your healing ability, and your physical limits. It's not exact, of course, but we can generally get close."

"You can measure healing ability?" I ask, curious. I know for a fact I can heal faster than Shadow, but I am interested to hear there is actually a metric.

"Well, not very well. The only way to accurately test it involves purposely taking damage, and that's a test you would only do if it was imperative for G.U.N. to know what you could handle."

"So, Shadow has done it?" I infer, and she nods.

"Obviously, we can't test for everything, but it's a strong metric to know what missions he can and can't handle."

"But, it is only for agents?"

"Well, yes. You don't need to go through it," she assures me. "It's quite painful."

"What if I become an agent one day?" I question, surprised by the thought. It was one thing accepting the fact I want to form friendships on this planet; the possibility I might end up working here has not crossed my mind since I first made the truce.

"Then you would probably take it," she says cautiously, wary of my interest.

"Well," I say, feeling a growing determination to show everyone just how much stronger than Shadow I really am, "maybe I should get it out of the way, then." I hold her gaze, not sure where this rush of excitement has come from but liking it.

"Eclipse, it's painful... You really shouldn't do it unless you're sure you want to join G.U.N.," she stresses.

"It's bound to happen eventually," I reply, adding a contraction to the sentence to make it sound more innocuous. "Besides, it can't hurt more than the pain I have felt before," I add darkly, mood shifting. "'Painful' is rather subjective."

There is a momentary awkward silence after I add my last point, but Ayers eventually nods.

"If you really think you want to become an agent someday, I could set up a test for you. Say...tomorrow? There's a slot then that would work--but is that too soon?"

"Not at all," I say easily, not apprehensive about grinding Shadow's abilities into the dust. "The sooner it is, the less dreaded it can become."

"That's a good point," the professor concedes, and she gives Agatha a slightly forced smile. "I hope it goes well. I'll set it up after I get to the other monitors." She walks away, and Agatha frowns at me.

"Why are you so determined to do this? There's no rush, and it's an optional test. Is it just because Shadow did it?"

"A bit," I admit, looking up at her. "I want to show I am not afraid to do anything he has done."

"Eclipse, no one would think that," Agatha sighs, obviously a little exasperated. I shrug, not guilty.

"I do, though," I murmur, surprised at how soft my voice is. Agatha immediately kneels down, concerned.

"You don't have to hold yourself in a rivalry with Shadow," she tells me firmly, and I feel myself getting a little defensive at her tone.

"He is not the only reason I want to get it over with," I snap. "Is it so hard to believe that I want to join G.U.N. in the future?"

"That's not what I'm saying, and you know it," she chastises.

"Yeah, well..." I trail off, sighing. "I know. Just... Let me do some stupid things for my pride, alright? It will help me feel more secure."

"Eclipse..."

"You don't have to worry about me," I insist, attempting to smile reassuringly. "I will be fine. I'll be fine," I continue, practicing the language to distract her.

"I know. I worry about you because I care," Agatha says sincerely, and my smile comes naturally this time.

"Even if you don't have to... I am glad you do," I reply, feeling a little embarrassed in a good way. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Eclipse," she responds, returning the grin. "Anytime..."

Author's Note: This was hilarious to write, so I hope it made you laugh! Don't forget to tell me if you enjoyed it! Update is next Wednesday, as usual, so I'll see you then. Thanks for reading!