When I, finally, made me way down the stairs, I was already forty-five minutes late and I wasn't even surprised to see Amena hanging off Matt's arm as though he was going to leave her the moment she let go of him.

"Sophie," Amena grinned when she caught sight of me at the bottom of the stairs and, unlike the other five females who were stood there, she genuinely looked happy to see me joining her for the day.

"Sorry I'm late. I couldn't sleep last night." It wasn't technically a lie, I hadn't been able to sleep. My mind had been buzzing with the conversation which I had shared with Markus, and the way he had become immediately protective over the prospect of his brother taking Callie from me, but then he had returned to the man I had come to know.

"Oh. I know. Your mother told me this morning that you would be joining us, and that I just needed to wait patiently for you to come down." I had expected the woman Matt was married to, the woman Matt had cheated on multiple times, to be something she wasn't.

I had wanted her to be stuck-up, obnoxious, and rude. I had wanted her to be your typical spoiled brat who got whatever she wanted with the click of her fingers. I had, even, wanted her to the type of girl who had a daddy who would do anything to ensure that his perfect princess got everything she wanted.

But she was none of those things. She wasn't even the type of woman Matt had led me to believe she was.

She was sweet, beautiful, innocent, and bubbly. I had thought seeing her would ease the guilt of sleeping with her husband, but it had had the opposite effect, and now the guilt had increased tenfold. Especially with the knowledge that I had given him the daughter he had always wanted while, for some reason, Amena was unable to have children.

I was the worst kind of person and I could feel the bile rising from my stomach at the thought of what I had done to the woman who stood before me now: the woman who had a grin on her face and was undeniably excited about spending the day with me.

"She also told me," Amena paused as she moved closer me and wrapped her hand gently around my arm, coming in close as though she knew something about me which wasn't to be shared with the rest of the world, "that you have a fear of horse riding."

"Uh. Yeah?"

"I just wanted to assure you that all of the horses have been trained by the best and, because I don't want you to feel too uncomfortable, I thought that you might like to be paired with one of the most experienced riders I know?"

"Thanks. I appreciate the thought." I managed to give her a smile. It was weak and pathetic, but it was a smile nonetheless, and that's really all I could muster with the guilt which was consuming me.

"But, if you don't mind me asking of course, why do you have such an aversion to horse riding?"

"I was sixteen and I had been told, promised in fact, that the horse I was riding was trained. But that had been a lie," I sighed, my ribs stinging as I remembered the day which had turned me from horse riding. "Something spooked the horse and it threw me off. It then saw me as the threat and I was kicked twice before the horse ran over me."

"Sophie." Amena's hands come up to cover her mouth as she held back some sort of sob. And now, more than ever, I wished that she was a bitch who had taken an instant disliking to me, because that would make this conversation a whole lot easier to be having.

"I got black eye, four fractured ribs, a broken arm and multiple bruises which took forever to disappear. That damn horse made me miss my prom and I had a really cute date for that too," I chuckled to lighten the mood between the two of us, but I could still see the tears in Amena's eyes as she absorbed the information I had just shared with her. "But I guess I can't be afraid for the rest of my life. Time to get back on a horse and conquer my fear."

With a quick pat on my shoulder, Amena clapped her hands and turned back towards the other ladies who were here for the day, instructing them to follow her outside where the horses were already waiting for us. I didn't miss the whispers which came in my direction nor did I miss the pointing, but I decided that ignoring it was for the best.

At least, I did until I found myself being stopped by someone grabbing hold of my wrist and pulling me back into the house.

"We need to talk, Soph," Matt whispered desperately and, while that might have worked if he had begged to speak to me this morning, I wasn't going to listen to what he had to say to me. Not when I had just met his wife and she was, perhaps, one of the loveliest women I had ever met.

"There is nothing more to be said between us. You have made your choice." I pulled my wrist from his grip and attempted to walk out of the house again.

"I had no choice. I—"

"We all have a choice, Matthew. You made yours three years ago so, if that's everything, then I really must be going. It's just, you know, I have to spend the day with your wife." I wished that looks could kill, because then at least my problem would no longer exist, and I would be able to get on with my life without wondering what could have been between us.

"I still think about you, you know? I still think about what would have happened if I had left Amena and just stayed in London with you. I want that life. I want you."

His words hurt me, probably more than they were intended to.

But that's the life I wanted too. I wanted that life with the man I loved.

Well, with the man I thought that I loved at the time. But, in reality, I was just a child and he was an adult: a point he had clearly made during our last meeting with each other. Though, just as I knew what I was doing, he always knew what we were doing and he knew it was wrong, yet he still wanted it as much as I did.

"Nothing has changed. You were unable to leave Amena then and I won't allow you to leave her now." I heard the hint of sadness in my own voice, but I couldn't handle my head being messed with any more than it already had been.

Matthew had left me with nothing and I had spent three years doing my utmost to forget that he had ever existed in my life. I needed to be that who forgot about him and to pretend that his love had never meant anything to me in the first place.

I already had Callie as a permanent reminder of what I had done and the lies which I was continuing to tell people, including Matthew himself, but she was all I had in the world and I wasn't going to risk losing her to man who could, easily, give her so much more in life.

"Just say the word and I'll leave her. We could have the life we always dreamed of having, and no one would be able to stop us."

"Amena clearly loves you, and you're married to her, so you must feel something for her too. Don't throw that away for something I don't ever want again," I grimaced as the words left my mouth. My brain didn't quite register that I had just said them and that I was, willingly, giving up the reason I came here in the first place.

"But. So—"

"I can't be second best again. I just, I can't do that." That was the last thing I said before I walked out of the room, leaving Matt where he was stood, and even he was shocked by the words which had just left my mouth. I subtly wiped the tears away from my cheeks as I walked away from the man who had, once, been everything I had wanted, and now I wasn't sure whether I came here to win him back or whether I came to say goodbye.

Ruining his marriage more than I had already done wasn't going to repair the damage which he had done to me and neither was it going to ease the guilt which was consuming me. It also wasn't going to make Matt want me anymore than he already did, so it almost seemed pointless fighting a battle I was never going to win.

I saw Amena approaching me from the corner of my eye and I was quick to wipe away the remnants of the tears which had previously been there, because I didn't want her asking me any more questions, and I didn't want to divulge why I was crying. Not when her husband was the reason for the tears.

"I was beginning to think you had opted out." There was something so natural about Amena that, under different circumstances, I think we could have been friends and we would have gotten along better than I had ever gotten along with a female before. "I am letting you ride my horse for the day. Azure is perfect and I promise you now that she is professionally trained, so there is no need to worry about a repeat incident."

"I really do appreciate this, Amena."

"You will also have Mark to help you, because I also promised you nothing but the best."

"Well, damn. My favourite person in the whole world. How could I possibly have anymore fun?" The smirk on Markus' face showed that he was enjoying this far more than I was and, if it wouldn't cause suspicion, I would punch it off his face.

"Shall we?" Amena asked before she mounted her horse for the day and took off to the front of the pack, leading the way.

"Just so you know, I don't care whether you're the best they have, I don't feel comfortable with this." I hissed into Markus' ear, my arms instantly wrapping around his body, to keep myself safe as he quickly followed after Amena/

"Just so you know, I don't care," Markus howled over the sound of his own laughter and happiness, and I knew that I was in for a hell of a day. Whether I enjoyed it or not, that remained to be seen.

What do you think about Sophie pushing Matthew away, and still not telling him that Callie is his daughter?

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