MARKUS' POV

I don't know why I thought that drinking would solve my issues, or even why I thought that it would offer me any form of clarity. But it was the only solution I could think of when Sophie walked away from me.

Drowning my sorrows was certainly a better idea than considering everything I did wrong. I didn't want to contemplate why she would leave as quickly as she did, or think about whether I had been too rash in admitting my feelings for her, or even consider just how much it hurt knowing that she doesn't want to be with me in the way I want to be with her.

But the alcohol did little to numb the pain of my aching heart.

I couldn't help the self-loathing which began to consume me as I thought about all the what ifs.

What if I wasn't such a player? What if I hadn't broken so many hearts? What if I was the type of man Sophie wanted to be with? What if I was the father to Callie, instead of my brother? What if I simply wasn't me?

The burning of the alcohol was enough to distract me for a moment and I could feel my vision beginning to cloud, and there was a fog in my mind which was almost relieving after the day I had endured.

The only good thing to come out of today was the afternoon I had spent I had spent with Callie. The sweet and innocent little girl who had been lighting up my world for the last two weeks, and I would do anything to spend more time with her.

She was a ray of sunshine in my darkness and she brought the light I had been missing since the day my father died, and she gave me hope that I could one day be a proper father to my own little girl. She was my world and she wasn't even my daughter to love, she was my brother's daughter and he didn't even know.

And, in that moment, as I took another swig of the liquor in my hand, I found myself hating Matthew. He was the one women loved and the one people would always prefer over myself: even the woman I was in love with loved my brother while she detested me.

Perhaps the alcohol was bringing out my harboured jealousy. Matthew had been handed everything in life, from his money to his wife. He had never truly worked for what he had but I had to work my ass off to become the man I am today, and even that wasn't enough for some people.

"Mr Barnes?" I sat up in my bed, some of the alcohol slopping over my bed, and saw Alexander Porter standing at the end of my bed. He was probably the oldest employee of Matthew's and he was the only employee who treated me the exact same way as he treated my brother, and even though he hated the things I did and the way I acted out, he was still an ear to listen to me when I had no one else.

"Alex."

"I have a letter here for you from Miss Peterson—" he paused for a moment as he handed me the envelope with my name written on the front of it. The letters were joined perfectly from one to the next, there wasn't even a break in the middle when she wrote my last name. "—She told me to inform you that she was sorry and that she shall see you whenever you are next in London. She also said that it could well be the last time you see her."

"W—What? You mean..." Even in my drunken state, I knew that Sophie and Callie were both gone. I might not have wanted to accept it or even acknowledge that she was no longer under the same roof as I was, but I knew that it was true, and I also knew that it had something to do with Matthew.

"Yes, Mr Barnes. Miss Peterson and her daughter have left the house. I helped them both with their luggage about ten minutes ago, and the car took them to the airport," Alex replied and I could hear in his tone that he felt sorry for me, as though he could sense the pain and hurt which was stabbing me in the chest as his words surrounded me.

"Mark—"

"Thank you, Alex. You can leave now." I didn't even look at him as I twisted the letter round my fingers, fighting the urge to open it and read it while Matthew's head of security was stood in my room. I might have had a little too much to drink, and I might have felt the pent-up emotion begging to be released, but I wasn't going to read the letter in front of Alexander.

"I know it's hard, but—"

"I said, you can leave now." Alexander did not attempt to move from the foot of my bed and I was close to losing my temper with him for not doing as I had asked of him. I didn't want to piss him off but I also needed to be alone as I accepted whatever it was Sophie had to say. "Now."

"You know where to find me," Alex sighed. He turned on his foot and walked out of the door, closing the door behind him, leaving me with my alcohol and the little light which had been there before.

Though my room wasn't much, it was still my home and there was more than enough here for me to get by with. This was the only place I had left to remind me that, once upon a time, we were a happy family. People cared about all of us, not just my brother and Matt, but people cared about me as well.

Just stop delaying the inevitable, Markus. Open the letter and see what the hell she has to say to you.

I sighed to myself. If I hadn't have trained myself not to feel anything other than the necessary emotions, then I would probably be in tears by now, but I had never wanted to feel the pain I did when my father died nor the neglect when my mother effectively disowned me.

I didn't know what I was feeling anymore. I thought that it was love, but now I wasn't so sure.

I had noticed everything about Sophie. Even more so since she arrived for Matt's vow renewal.

I noticed the way her lips curled slightly when she laughed and the way they dropped when I was pissing her off: it was always obvious when she was in a good mood and it was even more obvious when I had ruined that good mood. I had noticed the distinct colour of her eyes, though they were brown, they were so dark that they reminded me of chocolate: sweet and tempting. I had even noticed the way she had to look up to speak to or shout at me, and the way she had to stand on tip-toes when she kissed me because of how much shorter than me she was.

It was impossible not to have feelings for her and, as much as I hated myself for allowing my guard to slip, I knew that I loved her. I wanted to wake up beside her every single day for the rest of my life and I wanted to be the father of her daughter, because there was no way in hell my brother would be capable of raising that little girl right.

I slid my finger, after much deliberation, under the flap of the envelope, carefully pulling out the folded piece of paper. I opened it, taking in each word in the way they were intended to be read, and wondering why the hell she couldn't just say this to my face.

Her beautiful writing captured the letters perfectly and I could feel my heart miss a beat with each second I spent reading:

Markus,

I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could do this to your face. I wish everything could be simple. But it isn't and for that, I am sorry.

I am sorry that I am so fucked up. I am sorry that I ruined one of the best things which could possibly happen to me, not even bothering to give it chance. I am sorry that I am too frightened to move on with my life and to actually give my heart to you; to give you the opportunity to prove I am so much more than another notch on your bedpost and that your words are more than just words.

I am sorry that I can't be one of those people who accept love when they find it. I am sorry that I cannot simply turn around and admit my feelings to that one person, despite them admitting their feelings for me first.

But, most importantly, I am sorry that I cannot do this to your face.

I hope you understand and I hope that, in time, you can find it in you to forgive me. It's easier for me to do this way though. I cannot be dealing with the tears which would inevitably fall for you.

I paused for a moment, looking at the end of the end of the sentence. The words were smudged slightly and it made my heart ache, knowing that she had cried whilst writing this letter. She had cried for me before she left and she had written her feelings onto a piece of paper, and she thought that I would hate her for doing this to me.

I braced myself, feeling the pain in the corner of my eye and an ache in my head, doing everything in my power to prevent myself from breaking down. Though, as Sophie had already said, the tears were inevitable.

I know it's too late to say it now but, Markus Barnes, I love you. Callie loves you. I'm sure you know that my little girl thinks the world of you, and she would sure as hell love you to be her daddy. But, writing my own feelings on a piece of paper, it makes it seem even more real: makes this a confession of the one thing I worked so hard to keep hidden. But the truth always comes out in the end.

I wish I knew why I loved you though.

You've always been a player who breaks women's hearts for his own amusement. You're not supposed to fall in love. You sleep with women and then kick them out in the morning, that's how you've always lived your life. You're not even the type to want to settle down and have the life which I so desperately want.

However, if there is one thing I do know, it's that you have one of the biggest hearts. You may not be perfect, then again neither am I, but you know how to put a smile on my face and you know how to make me laugh. You know what I needed and you could probably tell me everything I need. You've filled Callie with so much joy and you have given her so much love, so much happiness, and I will be eternally grateful for that. There is so much more to you that people don't even realise.

You're simply a broken man in need of a little love. I just wish I could be that person, and I am sorry that I never can be.

Until the next time. Don't forget me.

Sophie x

I don't even know what I was doing. I could feel the crumpled letter in the palm of my hand and the warm sensation of tears rolling down my cheeks as the bottle of alcohol fell from my hand to the floor. I had never wanted to cry and Sophie had been the one to break me, and I hated her for it.

This was all Matthew's fault.

I knew that wasn't a sensible thought to have in my current state, but he was the only one I could blame. If he had just left her alone while she was here, then none of this would have happened. The woman I loved would still be here and she would be telling me that she loved me to my face, rather than doing it through a damn letter.

Anger was coursing through my veins when I threw the covers from my body, stumbling around the room to pull my tracksuit bottoms on from the floor. I staggered from the room and headed in the direction of my brother's bedroom: a room I knew well because I had spent nights in his bed with random women because I had never wanted to sleep with them in my own bedroom.

I didn't bother knocking when I, after several failed attempts, finally reached my brother's bedroom. I knew that Amena wouldn't be in here, mostly because I had stumbled into the spare bedroom she was sleeping in before getting to the correct bedroom.

"What—" I pushed the door open with so much force that it bounced off the wall And slammed shut behind me.

"Are you happy? Sophie is gone and she never wants to see me again." I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, and I didn't even bother to hide them.

"Not my problem." It pissed me off further to know that Matthew didn't give a shit. He had never given a shit. Not about me, not about his wife, and certainly not about Sophie.

There was an unbearable pain in my chest and it was a feeling I had never felt before. It was as though my heart was breaking into a thousand pieces and the whole world was mocking me, laughing at me even. I wanted it to end and I wanted it to stop, and in my mind, there was only way to make it all stop.

"Callie is your daughter!"

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