Notes:

A small mention of violence and death as soon as Eduan talks about The Fight.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Dinner was supposed to be the easy part. Eat quietly and go. Admittedly, it was all going smoothly. In Eduan’s right sat Marco, since he was the one most associated with the family, next to him Hachuling, so he wouldn’t annoy Maria and Kiseia. From his left, sat Maschenny, Aguero, so Kiseia wouldn’t stab him with a butter knife, Ran, so he wouldn’t stab Maschenny with a spoon, and finally Maria. So, at first glance, nothing could go wrong.

That was until the bagels got on the table. Marco thought, was certain actually, that after this tiresome day, the least he deserved was a bagel. However, as soon as his hand touched it, someone tried to snatch it away.

“What are you doing?” he asked Hachuling while smiling like a psychopath.

“Taking the bagel.”

“That’s mine.”

“It doesn’t have your name on it.”

“It’s the first one.”

“So?”

“I’m the oldest son.” He said as if that was a good reason to get this particular bagel and not any of the other ones.

“And you can have a non-edible prize.” Hachuling smiled, a little less psychotically, and tried to take the bagel.

“Put down the food, Raspberry.”

“It’s Blueberry.”

“It can be Bartholomew for all I care. Now give me the bagel!”

“Oh, shut up”—Maschenny snatched the bagel and took a bite—“there. It’s mine.”

“Are you an idiot?” Marco asked her while Hachuling grieved the missing bagel part.

“Like you, Polo?” Marco began shouting at her, Maschenny responding with some very creative and graphic swears while Hachuling tried to smuggle the rest of the bagels.

“Pocket. Video.” Kiseia whispered, enjoying every moment. Aguero sighed and took a small box from his pocket. He took out a bunch of polaroids and began looking at them.

“What are you doing?” Ran asked.

“Meditating. I’m looking at things that calm me.”

Ran raised an eyebrow and peeked at the pictures. “Those are just pictures of Bam!”

“Lies.”—he picked the twenty-sixth picture—“You’re here.”

“Yes, but you can only see my hair because Bam covers me!”

“We can’t have everything in this life, Ran!”
Maria, who had just finished fantasizing of climbing the Tower and wishing to not have been born into this family, sighed. A loud sigh that couldn’t, unfortunately, be heard since everyone was screaming. Her gaze fell on Eduan who was smiling shyly.

“Are you alright, father?” she asked, “Your lips are twitching.” All the siblings stopped their fighting and looked at the older Khun who found himself equally surprised.

“He’s having a stroke.”

“Ran, that’s ridiculous.”

“I think he’s smiling,” Kiseia noted and Marco breathed in.

“Okay, maybe he is having a stroke.”

“If he dies, who gets the inheritance?”

“I’m not dying!” Eduan shouted as he glared at Hachuling “And if I were to die, you would have to fight to the death for my belongings.”

“Normal people have wills,” Aguero whispered feeling defeated. This was his family. He shared DNA with them. If past lives existed, he must have been a terrible person.

“Are you amused by the fact that three of your children are about to murder one another for food?”

“No, I’m amused by how you dislike each other.” Eduan smiled proudly, the reason for his pride remaining unknown to his children. Upon looking at their puzzled faces, Eduan decided to explain. “I thought you just disliked me but the fact you also dislike each other shows that you’re the problem. Not me.”

“We don’t dislike each other. I, personally, don’t pay attention to you. I have a respect for Maschenny despite her unique character,”—Marco turned to Aguero—“he seems interesting. And, provided I’m in a good mood, I could possibly spend fifteen minutes or so with Hachuling.”

“Well, I like all my siblings. Even Kiseia. She has that cute aura.” Kiseia and Aguero looked equally offended at Hachuling’s comment but he ignored them both.

“I, on the other hand, do not share that sentiment. Your kids are all annoying, immature toddlers who desperately want to sit with the adults just because they’ve learned how to crawl.” Maschenny said and pinched the bridge of her nose “Maria, Ran and Aguero get a pass. Maybe Marco too.”

“Maybe?”

“You’re not as annoying as the one with the curtain but you remain a lap dog.”

“Why are all our family dinners like that?” Maria wondered. Ran shrugged and handed her a bagel.

“So you like each other?”—they all murmured their replies that varied between “sure” and “I don’t want to stab [them] all the time”—“And you hate me?”

“Hate is a strong word.” Aguero told him “But in this case, it’s also the proper word.”

“You shouldn’t be surprised.” Marco added “Almost every male Khun hates you, that’s half your children. And the girls usually ignore you.”

“But you work for me!”

“That’s unrelated.”

“Marco’s right, why are you surprised? You have, Jahad knows, how many kids and only seven of them showed up. Then, you had to hold those seven kids here against their will. Oh, and of course there’s the fact that we’re supposed to murder each other when we’re first able to hold a knife. All that to earn your last name and make a million enemies.” Aguero explained. Hatchuling leaned behind and laughed while Kiseia and Marco nodded.

“I’ve been told I’m a hazard to society, I could make enough enemies on my own,” Ran stated proudly. Maschenny raised an eyebrow.

“What? No one says that but you.”

“And I’m correct.”

“I don’t understand. I’m a good father!”

“Sure you are, what’s her name?” Aguero said and pointed at Kiseia.

“Sofia.”

“Kiseia.”

“That’s what I said!”

“You’re a terrible father.” Kiseia told him more seriously “You’ve always been. You’ll always be. Despite our family being made by notorious liars, you know that it’s true. Why does it suddenly matter now?”

Eduan sighed. This was a talk he had hoped to avoid. “A week ago, we had the Fight. Forty-two children and one real Khun. Two of them made a pact to work together and kill the competition.”

“I did that too. Only I had a group, I think it was four more?” Maschenny smiled at the memory “It must have been an even number because they killed each other without me having to help.”

“Yes, it’s a usual tactic.” Eduan said “What was unusual was the fact that they honoured their deal. They killed the competition but not each other. Of course, I refused to end the competition until one of them was dead.”—Ran looked at the floor, Aguero squeezed his hand from beneath the table—“They lasted three days. No food. No water. Nothing. One of them had enough and killed the other. I congratulated him. He started screaming at me, wishing me the most horrible death. A rage unfitted for a Khun. Unfitted for a child.”

The tone had changed. Hachuling, who was still laughing when the story had begun, was awfully quiet. His smile had turned into a frown. Maschenny and Marco remained emotionless, wearing the poker faces all of the oldest Khun children had mastered. Perhaps this was why Ran was hiding his face. He wasn’t stoic like the rest. He couldn’t hide his thoughts.

“This family is a competition. I know that. I just never saw it. I know you all fight. For the name. For the position. For survival.” Maria shut her eyes tight. She could hear bones breaking. Weapons tearing up the flesh. Kiseia gently tapped her own arm, her mind travelling to her cousin—the one she thought like a sister—and if she wasn’t a Khun, if such things weren’t forbidden, she would grieve. Aguero rubbed the earring on his left ear. “However, seeing it—”

“You always see it. You’re always there to praise us.” Aguero snapped at him “It’s not the fact that you were ignorant to the problem that torments you. It’s the fact that someone called you out on it.” Eduan remained silent “Did you kill the child? Or did you just sent it away?”

“I didn’t kill them.” Eduan paused “They died.”

“And? Did it take one hundred and one deaths for you to realize that you’re a bad dad?”—Eduan didn’t answer—“You can excuse the brutal murder of your own kids but you draw the line at being called a bad parent?”

“I’ve seen the error—”

“You’ve seen nothing. You’re just an egoistic man who hates being criticized. You called us here, to what? Talk you up?” Aguero asked.

“I want to do some things better.”

“Will you stop it?” Ran asked.

“Stop what?”

“The fights.”

“I’m not the only one in charge of them. The women, your mothers, crave them as well.” There was a hint of understanding in the siblings' eyes. Especially in Maschenny’s and Ran’s.

“A war will come.” Aguero starts. Marco and Kiseia both raise their gazes. Hachuling, Maschenny, Maria and Ran continue their dinner. Eduan puts down his fork and looks at his son. “If we come out alive, I will stop you.”

Eduan looks at Marco. His son looks content. “I don’t think anyone will stop you if you will.”

.

Silence is violence for own’s self. It cuts each of them individually. A group whose combined power could perhaps guarantee the change in the Tower. They could have been allies. This is a thought that crosses each one’s mind. Maybe thought is the wrong word. It’s a dream.

Instead, a king with only one advisor stands opposed to rebels with an entire cavalry. And as soon as the silence settles in, they all realize that the king can’t leave his throne and the peasants can no longer be drained dry for one’s amusement.

(However, in a different time, two princesses stopped awaiting their beheading and chose to die for a cause.)

Surprisingly, it’s Maschenny who speaks first. She puts both of her elbows on the table and leans in, slightly hunching, and smiles. “Hey, can you give me Bam’s number?”

Aguero chokes. He begins coughing violently. “Why?”

“Because Maria won’t give it to me.”

“No! I don’t even want to know why you want it.”

“Look AA, truth is I can get it myself. But I like to be polite.”

“No.”

“I’m not going to steal him from you.” Maschenny teased “I’m a Princess of Jahad.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised! And secondly, I don’t trust you.”

“I just want to speak to him about,” she paused “this.”

“This?”

“His course of action. With you. Maybe intimidate him a little.”—both Maria and Ran tried to hold their laughter—“He has the most ridiculous God complex.”

“He’s also very reckless,” Hachuling added.

“Exactly! What if he accidentally kills you? Or worse! Dump you!”

“A Khun dumped? The scandal!” Maria said and fake fainted. Marco laughed along.

“He’s certainly going to get dumped.” Kiseia added “I mean, he isn’t even that good looking. I’m sure his boyfriend can do better.”

“You two literally look like twins,” Hachuling said.

“Even so, I’m prettier than him.”

“Stop bullying your brother,” Eduan told them sternly letting Aguero sigh in relief. “So, should we have the talk about birds, bees and protection?”

“Oh?”—Aguero closed Ran’s ears—"So you do know what protection is!”

“Of course, I know. But you see during the act, I’m not fo—”

“It’s getting late, we should go!” Maria announced, protecting everyone’s ears once again. The rest of the siblings nodded and got up. Even Eduan seemed pleased.

“Let’s do it again some time.”

“Let’s do not!”

.

“All I’m saying is that I met Bam first, therefore, I should be the one to give him the shovel talk.” Hachuling told his siblings as they stood outside the mansion “Besides, I’m very intimidating.”

Marco began coughing while Maschenny looked at him from head to toe. “Your name is Blueberry.”

“I am a threat!”

“Is your boyfriend allergic to blueberries or something?” Kiseia asked. Aguero opened his mouth to reply but a shout of his name cut him off.

“Aguero! Over here!” Aguero turned towards the gate and saw Bam waving at him. Rak was by his side, surprisingly in his regular form, eyeing the rest of the Khuns suspiciously.

“He’s cute.” Kiseia mumbled, “A shame he has poor eye vision.”

“Ha, ha, ha.” Aguero shot back “Ran, our ride is here. Goodnight family, I will remember you all in therapy.”

“Bye, AA.” The rest waved. Even Kiseia smiled a little.

“We should head out as well. Have a good evening.” Maria smiled. Maschenny gave a pat to Marco’s back.

“And then there were three.” Hachuling smiled. Marco and Kiseia exchanged a look.

“I’m going back inside.”

“I’m leaving too.”

Notes:

-the reason why this fic exists is that I wanted the Khuns to play UNO but I got carried away and it never happened. However, don't fret, I will write it. Just not in this fic.
-me: I will pepper in the fact that Aguero touches his earrings when sad
-I call this a dumpster fire because it has 99% crack and 1% angst, it's called d u a l i t y
-I like to think canon Eduan is irredeemable in a way that his path has already been written. This is also what I tried to do here. He is too much of a key player to change. In my headcanon, and in this fic, he'll remain neutral to the war. However, in canon, no matter what he does (that is in character) will result in his death. Simply because he can't change the rules of the Khuns and our own Khun, or perhaps someone else from the family, will not let things remain the same. If, though, he ends up being a simple good guy in canon, I will be disappointed.
-There is actually a hint of what the 5th and final instalment of this series is going to be
-I thank you all for your support and hopefully I will see you soon with either the last fic in Brothers and Sisters I'm an Atomic Bomb or a new ToG idea (which will most likely feature the Khuns once again)