Inside


This one is for a friend of mine. If and when she reads it, she'll probably like it a lot. Buckle your seatbelts friends. Chronologically, I see this falling after the end of season 4.

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My brothers don't understand. They never will, but they don't have to be so mean about it.

"Stupid"

"Stop being so stupid."

"You're so stupid Mikey."

"Mikey's so stupid."

"Don't bother explaining it to Mikey, his small brain will never understand it."

He straightened.

Let them call him stupid. It didn't matter in the end. So, he was stupid. He already knew that. He didn't need everyone to keep reminding him and he didn't need to dwell on it.

Stupid, sure, but brilliant. So brilliant no one could even begin to fathom his genius. He wasn't meant for this world. He was meant for another—an alternate dimension. He and his brothers were born of mutagen, their existence—though loosely—dependent on the Kraang.

In dimension X, Mikey was King. He knew and understood every creature from the Kraang worms to the florbengrabs, but as soon as they were back here, his brothers stopped appreciating it.

He was just stupid Mikey all over again. It wasn't fair.

Outside of dimension X, would he ever be more than just...Mikey?

A tear rolled down his face.

Of course not.

He sniffled.

"Boys, let Michelangelo play with you. It is never kind to exclude the ones you love. How would you like it if I played with him and didn't play with you?"

When they were little, Splinter had always stood up for him.

"Raphael, keep an eye on Michelangelo. You know how he likes to wander."

"Hai sensei."

Splinter made sure that he was always watched over, protected...coddled a bit more than his brothers.

"It is only because you are so special, Michelangelo. You have the gift of a brilliant imagination, and an pure heart. Do not ever lose those, my son, they are what make you different from your brothers. No matter what anyone says: you are special, and I love you just as much as I love your brothers."

But Splinter was gone now. It was just him and his brothers.

Did they understand? Did they know or realize what he was feeling? What he was going through? He doubted it. How could they? They'd never understand.

R.E.M. was right: Everybody hurts.

There weren't very many things that made Mikey feel this way. Being defeated, losing a friend, Brussel sprouts...

Well, maybe not Brussel sprouts. They were actually ok. Especially when you roasted some garlic oil and drizzled it over—

He was getting distracted.

Brothers. What to do about his brothers. Would it really matter if he did anything?

Yes.

Did he want to do anything about it?

No. Probably better to avoid that pile of worms altogether. Better to just sit here and let it all out—to stay here in bed and brood, not bothering about his brothers.

But then who was gonna make breakfast? And who was gonna greet them with smiles when they needed 'em most? Raph wasn't.

Sigh. He better get up. In the end, they were what kept him going. They were his greatest strength, his biggest weakness, and his harshest critics.

Mikey groaned and stretched. He eyed his Super Robo Mecha Force clock: 4:30am. A bit early, but that was okay. He could probably just use the extra time cooking a really complicated, lavish breakfast to justify being up.

He wasn't expecting to find the kitchen occupied.

"It's not that I don't want to help, it's that I can't afford to. You know that better than anyone. No, what you do is dangerous. You make a lot of enemies. My brothers and I have it rough as it is, okay? I'm not going to put them at risk any more than I have to. I understand your position, believe me. I'm the head of this clan now, but I can't...I can't put them at risk, Karai."

I can't lose them.

Leo didn't say it, but Mikey could feel it in hanging in the air as though he had.

For a moment, the orange-masked turtle wondered whether he should retreat the way he had come or charge in. Either way would most likely result in being seen, so he opted for the latter.

Leo was sitting at the kitchen table. His t-phone clunked down on the wood and he dropped his head in his hands.

"Wish you could help her, huh?"

The ninja leader jumped a little. "Mikey."

"Don't look so surprised big bro, you live in a family of ninjas."

"That was Karai."

"I heard." Mikey saw the dark circles under Leo's eyes and sighed. "How'd that go?"

"Not good. She wants our help on a covert operation to shut down her father's former smuggling deals. Real dirty jobs. These guys are A listers on some of the Feds' most wanted."

"Psh. You think we couldn't handle 'em?"

Leo fixed him with a very pointed glare. "The last thing we need right now are more enemies, Mikey."

"Yeah, I guess, but Raph's going stir-crazy down here and Donnie's drowning himself in blueprints for new projects."

"They're just coping Mikey. It's going to be okay." Leo wrapped his little brother in a hug.

Somehow, it felt empty. Mikey straightened.

"No, it isn't Leo. You know as well I as I do...they're coping just about as well as we both are. Which means they're both doing lousy."

Leo stared.

"What, you thought I couldn't tell? Despite what you guys think, I'm not stupid. Have fun deciding what to do about Karai." Mikey didn't know what he was doing. He couldn't believe he'd just talked to his older brother like that, he couldn't believe that his feet were taking him on a straight path for the door of the lair, he couldn't believe that he kept going in spite of the fact that Leo was shouting his name, but he was. Everything became surreal. Like this wasn't the world...or maybe...it just wasn't the world he was meant for.

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"The Shell is all the shouting about?"

"Mikey just got mad at me, yelled and ran off without listening to reason!" Leo shouted at Raph's question, his anger and confusion getting the best of him.

"Reason? He's Mikey!" Raph retorted.

Donnie came running form the lab. "What's going on in here?"

"Mikey's run off." Raph said lowly, glaring at Leo.

"Run off? Run off where?"

"How should I know?" Leo and Raph responded simultaneously.

Donatello exploded. "You two are absolutely useless! Our little brother is out there, upset and you two want to waste time yelling at each other! Fine, have fun working out your aggression! I'm going after Mikey." He rushed out the lair door, leaving the two older turtles staring guiltily at each other.

Raphael sighed. "Alright, Leo, sit down and talk me through this thing from the beginning."

The leader nodded. They sat side by side on the couch and talked calmly, suddenly feeling closer than they had in a long time.

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Being back at the old TCRI building looking for a portal to dimension X gave Mikey an odd sense of déjà vu. The majority of his mind rebelled at the thought of abandoning his brothers, but a tiny part deep inside of him just wanted to be back in his dimension. The one place where he called the shots, where he knew the score. The one place where he was the genius...where no one could call him dumb. He wanted to be useful again...to be masterful again. He hadn't done his brothers any good since the last time they were in dimension X.

Finally, in a pile of discarded tech, his questing hands found what he was looking for. He pressed the button and the triangular door opened. Mikey smiled and took a step towards it...but some invisible force held him back. He couldn't fathom it. Suddenly, all he wanted more than anything was to leap into that portal...but now it was the tiny voice deep inside him that was crying out in protest.

"Well? Are you or aren't you? Better decide fast."

Mikey wheeled round.

"What are you doing here, Don?"

"Go or no, Mikey? You have to decide before I have to stop you."

Suddenly Michelangelo realized the offer his brother was making. "Donnie..."

"You wouldn't have done this—you wouldn't have gone this far unless you were truly unhappy with us. I wouldn't wish that on you Mikey." Donatello's voice cracked. Tears had started to gather in his eyes, but he turned his carapace to his brother to make sure that Mikey couldn't see them. "If you want to go, go now."

The orange-masked turtle stared into the portal...then at the back of his brother's shell. The portal closed.

Don fell to his knees. Mikey...

Then the portal device began to spark and fizz. The purple masked turtle turned around. Mikey stood over a cracked portal generator with his nunchaku in his hand.

"Mikey!"

"I may not be happy right here, right now. But I would never be happy without my brothers." The orange-masked turtle said, his eyes glimmering with wisdom beyond his years. He offered a hand down to his brother.

Donatello smiled and took it. As soon as he was on his feet, he yanked his little brother into a big hug. Still choked up, he wiped his eyes and cleared his throat.

"We better get home quick. I left Leo and Raph shouting at each other in the lair."

"Then what are we waiting for, Brainiac? Let's get over there before we don't have any furniture left."

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Upon their return, they were flabbergasted to find Leo watching a re-run of Space Heroes with a sleeping Raph leaning on his shoulder. He gestured them both to be quiet and whispered to his youngest brother:

"Mikey, are you alright?"

Mikey smiled from ear to ear at his big brothers' positions. "Awwwwww, this is adorable."

"Mikey...I just wanted to say I'm sorr—"

"Not now, Leo. I gotta get the camera!"

"Mikey, no! Mikey! Not the camera! Mikey!" Leo looked hopefully—with pleading eyes—at Donnie. "Can't you stop him? Please?"

Donatello laughed and shook his head. "Sorry Leo. I think this is the day destined to go down in infamy as the day that you and Raph finally buried the hatchet."

Leo grumbled. "Far from it."

Donnie raised an eyebrow.

"Let's just say we agree to disagree." Then, in an almost inaudible voice Leo murmured, "Space Heroes is not a stupid show."

Raph just grunted in his sleep, almost as if to say "Is too."

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I know it's been a long time. As you can probably guess my friend loves Mikey. Particularly where Mikey is brooding over something. So there you go. Well, how was it?

Thanks for reading!

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